Pebbles and Bamm Bamm vs .... The Devil??

This past weekend, my Guy and I were sitting in our awesome new kitchen in our awesome new house watching birds at our feeders (don't get too excited...still only chickadees...sigh) whilst eating a super delicious Toddler Lunch of grilled cheese sandwiches (cut into triangles) and apple slices and milk. We were chit-chatting away about our lack of any cool birds (Sorry, chickadees...you're super cute but not terribly cool) and  I'm not entirely sure how the conversation arrived at this point but it went a little something like this...

Me: something something something "way up there"

and then I burst into song  "Way up. Way up" ...

"Hey, do you remember that song from The Flintstones? With the space dudes with the shaggy long hair"

My Guy: "Yeah, I do... I loved 'The Way Outs'. They're awesome."

Me: "Yeah! And they had little boxy things that came apart when they kinda jumped and sang 'Way Up. Way Up' ... wait a second...did you say 'The Way Outs'?"

My Guy: "Yep."

Me: "Hmmm"

My Guy: "Or maybe they were 'The Way Ups'... I dunno."

Me: "Hmmmm"

Me: "Hmmmmmmm"

So, all of a sudden, my world has been rocked ...ever so slightly...but rocked nonetheless. And not in the good way.

 Have I possibly been singing that little tune wrong my entire life?? Because, I have actually sung/sang that song in my head (but probably out loud) on many different occasions when the situation deemed it necessary.

Way Out? Way Out?

NOT

Way Up? Way Up?

Could this possibly be possible??

Hmmmmm.

So, of course, as is my usual reaction when I feel the need to prove myself right (or in this case, prove myself wrong??!!), I leapt up and fetched my iPad and did myself a little Google-ing.

And, sure enough, I was ....

WRONG.

So, now with YouTube open and going, we further followed the theme of our Toddler Lunch and watched a whole bunch of  Flintstone clips like this one:

Which I sing to my parents on their anniversary every year.

And, this one:

Which I sing when we eat burgers.On buns.

And then there's this one:

Judo CHOP!!!

 How many of you ran around mercilessly Judo Chopping your siblings?? BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

Ah...Good Times!!

And then...something awful happened. 

If  I thought  my world was rocked (not in the good way) by the whole Way Up/Way Out debacle...

Well, that was child's play (<--- Toddler Lunch Theme) compared to what was about to be exposed.

Here we go...

Me: "Oh YAY!! I loved this song...

      

         'So let the sun shine in. 

         Face it with a grin.  

         Smilers never lose. 

        And frowners never win'

And then I hit PLAY ... and my world will never be the same again...

...

...

What.

The.

Fuck.

Since WHEN did this song talk about the devil and hating him so and saying prayers and the devil feeling awful awful when he sees her on her knees??

Obviously since forever... but how did I forget ...or not notice ... that it's a RELIGIOUS SONG??

I've been singing that little chorus, again, on many different occasions when the situation deemed it necessary, probably even MORE often than "Way Up. Way Up."...and had absolutely no idea that the verses were so hard-core.

Those of you who know me, may know that I'm not a huge fan of all things religion and haven't been since I was 12 (my apologies to those of you who are...I'm not meaning to offend) so this song, which I have adored FOREVER has taken on a whole new meaning for me ... literally.

Damn.

I kinda wish I could un-watch it so I could continue to live in blissful ignorance. Beautifully unaware of all the devil stuff that's in all the rest of the song... except the sweet little chorus. 

It's kinda like way back when, when I found out how babies were made and then put 2 and 2 together and realized that my parents had sex 3 times... 

BLECH!!! 

GROSS!!!

Crazy is the New Black!!

...at least it seems to be in my world.

Over the past little while, as I've grown more accustomed to the mysterious and wondrous ways of this Grand Blogosphere, I've done a bit of exploring and I've found some really cool stuff. I really truly had no idea just how wildly expansive this virtual community is. I'm dumbfounded by the astonishing number of people out there who take time out of their daily lives to write about anything and everything. The mind staggers.

I guess it's the sense of faceless anonymity that allows and encourages people to share... And, when it comes right down to it, that's really what everyone is doing ... Sharing -- Laughter. Opinions. Thoughts. Plans. Knowledge. Emotions.

And secrets. Deeply personal secrets.

I find it amazing how candid bloggers generally are. And they can also be remarkably accepting and supportive, rallying behind one another in times of distress and sadness.

A faceless anonymous community.

I realize that my blog experience (writing and reading) is somewhat limited so perhaps I'm generalizing. I'll narrow my focus to the two blogs in particular that got me to thinking about all this stuff.

A friend (whom, by the by, I've never met...Thank you, Cyber Universe, for introducing us. I owe you one) introduced me to "Hyperbole and a Half" and "The Bloggess" and I have fallen head over heels in love with both of them. They are written by brilliantly hilarious, incredibly creative women and their words never fail to make me laugh out loud. Actually, they have both, on many many occasions, had me laughing hysterically...tears running down my face/tummy and face muscles hurting kind of hysterically.

And...

Both of these brilliantly hilarious, incredibly creative women struggle with serious mental health issues.

A.D.D.

Depression.

Anxiety.

Self Harm.

Both of these brilliantly hilarious, incredibly creative women have been brave enough to share their very intense struggles with the thousands who read their awesome funny irreverent blogs.

The outpouring of support and sympathy they have received by way of "comments" is truly amazing. I can only imagine what their inboxes have been flooded with.

What's just as amazing to me, is the fact that the vast majority of these comment-ers, alongside their words of support and sympathy, share their words of empathy and gratitude. Scores of "I've been there, too. It makes me feel so much better knowing that I'm not the only one. Thank you." stories.

Allie, of "Hyperbole and a Half" shares her story in this post .... Adventures in Depression

Jenny aka "The Bloggess", first opens up in this post....The Fight Goes On

 And here is the post that came the day after ... Wow


Make sure to check out the comments at the bottom of each post.

The irony of this 'phenomenon' has me shaking my head thinking how bizarre our world has become. Thousands of people from all around the globe rallying together to offer support to two women they've never actually met through a medium that allows everyone to stay tucked safely away from the world in their own basement/bedroom/office hidey-holes.

It's the distance created by the Cyber Universe that allows people to feel close and safe enough to share their secret-till-now inner torments.

It's the social disconnect of the Cyber Universe that fosters these strong,fiercely loyal virtual connections.

Weird.

But awesome.

And that's not even what I wanted to write about. Really.

What I wanted to write about is the fact that these super duper brilliantly hilarious women are complete nutters and that's really AWESOME!! Really Really.

And it's also really awesome that everyone is embracing and supporting these crazy ladies and elevating them to a sort of Cool Blogger Hero status.

And it's also really awesome that a whole bunch of people are outting themselves and coming clean about their own mental health issues.

And it's really super awesome that this, in some small way, is opening up conversations about this shitty stuff and will hopefully, in some small way, rip away some of the shitty stigma that has always been draped over these shitty disorders.

And talking is really Awesome!! Really Really.

And, since I am the long-time and now-proud suffer-er of a couple o' sweet mental health disorders myself, I, too, can be part of the Cool Crazy Kid Bloggy Crowd...only I seem to be short several thousand followers.

Damn.

Oh well.  While I may not have taken the Blogosphere by storm, I do have some most excellent friends who happen to enjoy varying degrees of varying forms of the crazies.

And they are all exceptional, interesting people who are smart and funny ... and crackers.

It's gotta be kinda boring to be mentally and emotionally sound.


p.s. Here's...

"A Comprehensive List of My Sweet Mental Health Disorders"
by: squirrel_e_girl

• Dysthymic Disorder 
• Social Anxiety Disorder 

The Squirrel is Outta the Bag!!!

Ok...so my original plan for my first post of 2012 was to fling together some sort of listy thing (Quelle Surprise??) in order to regale you all with my goals/thoughts/plans/hopes for this shiny new year <--- how original and exciting would THAT be?

BUT....

The other day, I was rooting around in my Google Docs searching for a letter I had written 6 or so years ago. I haven't ventured into that folder in years (literally) because, as much as I love Gmail (....and I really REALLY love Gmail and am privately (very) strangely surprised/bewildered/disappointed that EVERYONE hasn't switched to Gmail...it's simply that great)... alas, I have to admit that Google Docs is kinda crap and pretty sluggish and just not terribly user-friendly...well, at least not squirrel_e_girl-friendly. For regular people it might be a piece of cake but for me not so much.

So, not only did I find the letter that I was looking for, I also stumbled upon my very FIRST (well, first since university) attempt at writing that I had forgotten all about. It was pretty neat to take a glimpse at the state of my head back then and it was interesting to see a few little idea-seeds I had inadvertently sown in that initial writing practice session.  It took a couple of years for them to germinate and pop up in my Musings but they finally made it.

I thought it'd be cool to share those original thoughts with those of you who would find that sort of thing cool. I'm going to leave the whole piece 'as is'.  I'm not going to change anything ....spelling, spacing, names ... It's super disjointed and rambly and kinda personal, so you may end up feeling slightly confused but that's just part of the Musings Experience ;)

By presenting it to you in this way, I'm kinda throwing my pretend anonymity to the wind which won't be much of a shocker to most since most already know who I am. Others who don't already know who I am should be prepared 'cause I'm about blow your minds.

~An Aside: You may be surprised to learn that I have a weirdly disproportionate number of 'page views' coming from Russia. I'm not exactly sure how I established an Eastern European following and if someone could explain it to me, I would be most appreciative ...I'm thinking it must be some sort of view-generating something or other...OR ... I am to Russia what The Hoff is to Germany. One or the other.~~



So here it is....A blast from the past, written on 11/12/09,



Writing....
So You Think You Can Write ...
Yep, I think I can ... I know I can. It's just I don't know how ... if that makes any sense. I think I have to let go of any sort of linear thinking and just go with it. When I was in the shower I was flooded with thoughts and ideas (and water :) ) and I felt like I was going to explode unless I got them all out ... and then proceeded to stand under the stream of water ... turning down the cold little bit by little bit because for whatever reason I was afraid to come down here and write ... BUT ... I DID turn off the water before the hot water ran out (which was sort of my undeclared original plan) and I DID come down here and I DID sit down and I DID start to write (after checking to see if I had any new emails or if any new Facebook statuses popped up ... nope on both counts) So here I am ...I also had a little visit with my new buddy Yosh ... he came out from behind the fake flora and I think I caught him in the act of taking a drink ... not sure ... he's pretty hard to read ... I'm glad he's not dead ... mostly ... Is it weird that I'm free associating and for whatever reasons my ambivalence towards this little reptile brought to mind my ambivalence towards Zippy ... our miscarriage  ... I certainly am a weirdie and this is going to be quite an exercise ... What other twisted thoughts are going to come pouring out ... I am also almost on the verge of tears as I'm writing all this ... I guess it's a pretty monumental moment... I am now a writer :D and I am really smiling in real life ... I think I need to write. I have a whole lotta stuff to say and if some of it is worthy of an audience then that's a bonus. I think I was afraid to write ... well a) because I'm afraid of most everything (Piglet) and b) because I don't think I'm smart enough?? and c) because I don't think I'll do it "right" but you know, even as I write all of this I know that it's all a bunch of horseshit because ... well because it just is. Horseshit. I can do this. I know I can... I could probably sit here all day and type until my fingers were raw ... I've got that much "stuff" floating around in my brain ... the squirrels can have a hey day ... actually maybe this is a way to give "Those Darn Squirrels" a voice so they can stop chattering and cluttering up my head. My plan is to ultimately write an essay titled "The Year I Lost My Husband and Found My Self/ Myself" ... I think that if I can get it out and onto this screen, it might be worthy of an audience ... I think ... but for now I'll just keep clicking away at this keyboard and see what happens. By the way, Thank you Mr. Maltby, you odd duck you. Grade 9 Typing Teacher ExtraOrdinaire. My time in your class has served me well. You seem like a very very nice man and I was shocked and impressed (shocked and awed) that you remembered me way back when in the HIllcrest school yard ... you were picking up a grandkid and i was picking up Kate. Anyhow, good on ya. A most excellent memory ... or maybe I am just that unforgettable ;)
hmmmmmmm .... now what... I have to also thank the very wonderful KG for sending me the writing books few years ago ... Thank you. You have always had a knack for making me feel really good about myself. I think you are such a cool person and I admire you LOTS. .. and lots. You Rock :D I think you have been and will continue to be very influential in my funny weird little world. Good Luck with that :D Your dog is an absolute maniac and I have wanted to strangle her on many many occasions but that would be bad ... You love her therefore I love her...sorta ... kinda...mostly.
I am looking at the wall in front of me for some inspiration ... Lamps=Shane, Bunny=Bumpa/Katy Waite ... too much ... too close ... I will seek inspiration elsewhere. I'm not on the verge of tears anymore so that is a good thing for now ... I just need to figure out way the fuck to write ...hmmm should I maybe not swear ... nah ... I like to swear so I am going to swear and if necessary, I will clean it up later. Interestingly enough spellcheck has decided to let the word fuck go by without that little red squiggly line ... Ironically, spellcheck does not recognize itself as a proper word ... hee hee  (nor does it recognize hee hee ... hee hee ... i get a kick outta things like that)

My Leopard Gecko -- Yoshi by Karen Waite
Yoshi ... what the hell was I thinking. I have been hoodwinked. I might have to leave your care in the wonderful most capable hands of Shane Steele ... it is because of his "Sure!" that you are here. I haven't really been hoodwinked. I was just a sucker and got caught in a moment of weakness ... a moment of of momentary insanity ... what the fuck was I thinking?? I think you are very cute and you have holes in your head that are your ears ... but they are actual holes into your head ... I know all ears are holes in heads but usually they have some sort of outer garb to decorate them up a bit ... It's a bit disconcerting to be able to look directly into your head ... cool ... but in a disconcerting kinda way. I want you to have a good life. I want to make things comfy for you here. We will go and get you some crickets when Jackie gets home from school. Your former owner was feeding you waxworms which apparently is the equivalent to feeding you McDonalds every day ... not cool. I am a firm believer in feeding my animals nutritious high quality food so you will be placed on a new diet regime  of stuff that is good for you... Ironically, Jack and I will be stopping off at McD's on the way home to grab something to eat HA!!!!  There is something twisted about the fact that my animals eat healthier than my children ... but I guess I have more control over the four legged creatures than I do over the 2 legged ... except that Spencer seems to be on a bit of a Food Strike ... I guess he doesn't like Chicken Soup For the Dog Lover's Soul anymore ... tough luck ... I've got a whole big bag that he needs to get through before we try anything else. I will also buy you some new planty things and a nice little background mural for you to look at ... I don't think the heating rock is a good idea ... I don't want you to get toasted ... we'll see how much this "free" gecko is going to cost us :D
Ok ... I am off to pick up my nephew dawg Max ... I will write more later :)
Just a little bit more before I head off to bed ... Our trip to Lizard Planet was a success ... We have "pimped" out Yoshi's tank ... with a tree and some more foliage and a new cave and a new worm dish and now I'm feeling better about this whole thing ... now the little guy just has to eat something. He seems to be holding out ... and again, being the sucker that I am I bought a bunch of the most expensive worms out there ... Of course we get a gecko who a) doesn't like to be handled and b) refuses to eat regular lizard fare ... crickets ... so I have to pay top dolla to feed the little bastard ... we'll try to re-introduce the chirpers into his menu and we'll try to learn him to "warm" up to us .... might be tough for the cold blooded creature ... ok my clever quick wit is fading quickly so I must go ... also, I'm a little bit bug-eyed from playing far too much Bejeweled Blitz ... maybe that'll be the topic of my next blurby ramble... stay tuned :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoshi - Sporting his Lizard Skin Hat

BTW- 

"A Comprehensive List of My Aspirations For This Shiny New Year"

by: squirrel_e_girl

• Drink more water.
• Eat less food.
• Walk more walks.
• Be more mindful

That is all.

HAPPY 2012!!!

This Post Promised to Be the Best Post Ever...

....please note the use of the past tense :(

So here's the story...

Picture this, if you will... 

Me... standing in a fabulously steamy hot shower becoming increasingly excited...breathless with anticipation...on the verge of exploding ....with all sorts of awesome ideas for an "End of Year Wrap-Up/Best-Of squirrel_e_girl" blog post.

 ~not exactly where you thought I was going with  this is it? heh heh heh ...I'm tricky that way~

Anyway, back to the matter at hand...

I had a TON of super excellent stuff to write about bouncing around in my little steamed-up brain (seasoned "Musings" readers may remember that I've made mention of the fact that I do my best work in the shower) and I was raring to go and more than ready to pull an all-nighter in order to get it all down on virtual paper when I was stopped dead in my little squirrelly tracks....

Oh yeah...I remember now...

I took a wee sleeping pill (and an Advil) before I hopped into the shower so I'd be all nicely ready to sleep by the time my head hit my pillow....Thinking ahead, you see. Time management like you've never experienced.

Damn. There goes my night of inspired blogging....right down the drain. 

I wish I had been candidly filmed just so I could see the expression of abject disappointment when that unhappy realization sunk in .... I woulda looked a little something like this :( ....but way sadder.

Actually, once I stop and think about what I just wrote, I believe I will rescind that particular wish...no one needs to see me being candidly filmed ...or uncandidly for that matter...whilst in the shower.

Ok... I gotta go...my eyes are getting heavy and if there's one thing I know it's that Blogging and Sleeping Pills don't mix.

Blog Respsonsibly, Kids.

N'night.

More tomorrow.

A Quick Peek at My Diet This Week Past...

You know what's delicious?

Shortbread.

You know what else is delicious?

Chocolate covered almonds.

You know what else is delicious?

Pump-i-kin pie with real whipped cream. (In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that it is too delicious for its own/my own good.)

You know what is not delicious?

White Chocolate Cranberry Pistachio Bark.

Did the President not give it a little taste before he made this particular Choice? Whatever was he thinking?

The Chickadee Has Landed.

Remember way back at the beginning of November, when I wrote that lots 'o' shit had gone down in squirrel_e_girl world during the month of October...and then, instead of relaying all the aforementioned October shit that had gone down, I proceeded to write a silly list of reasons why I like to write lists?

Yeah, well... all the shit that went down in October still went down... obviously...but since then...actually, since this morning... some shit has just gone down that is even more exciting than all that aforementioned/unmentioned October shit...

~I'm now going to stop using the word 'shit' because it's starting to sound a little base...To hell with maintaining a sense of continuity ... I choose to maintain a sense of class~

....Something has recently transpired that is waaaaaay more exciting than buying a house and then nearly not buying a house(because apparently the mortgage provider kinda forgot...after initially approving us and said house... that they actually kinda don't mortgage Panabode log homes...ummm...ok...You did realize, of course, Big Important Mortgage People, that this deal was to close in less than 2 weeks when you pulled the f#%king rug out from under us, right?!...oops). And then buying, again, the house that has very instantly become my absolute dream home.

... Something has recently taken place that is waaaaaay more exciting and interesting (although waaaaaay less weird) than the fact that my Sweetie and I purchased this awesomely excellent dream home from vendors who just happen to be my Erstwhile Sister-in-Law and Erstwhile Brother-In-Law ... and ... we used a realtor who just happens to be my Erstwhile Husband. That's ok...take a minute to absorb all that...

...


...


...


~And to add to the Flowers in the Attic-i-ness of the situation...the reason my S.I.L/B.I.L decided to sell this fabulous spot in the first place is that they had an excellent once-in-a-lifetime kinda opportunity to move in with my Erstwhile Parents-in-Law into their big beautiful lakeside home...Fingers and toes crossed for everyone involved in that land-mine/time-bomb laden set-up. I love you all immensely...but you're all crackers~


...Something has recently come to pass that is even waaaaay more exciting than, after 3 years of living with super duper crap internet (First, we made do with frustratingly primitive, forehead-bangingly slow dial-up internet. Then, we "progressed" to retardedly expensive, slow and erratic (which is nowhere near as cool as slow and erotic) Rocket Stick 3G internet. Then, we moved on and up to the not-as-retardedly expensive but equally slow and erratic (again, not as cool as slow and erotic) Rocket Hub 3G internet) ... we now have real live HIGH SPEED CABLE INTERNET!!!!*cue choir of beatific angels belting out a chorus of "HALLELUJAH!!!"

Life is Good. Really. Really. Good.

Ok...so THE most exciting shit to go down in these last few crazy exciting months is...

Drumroll, please....

There is a chickadee at my feeder.


 And ...


EVEN BETTER...


Since I began writing this post, that one lone chickadee has been joined by several other chickadee-dee-dees and...a nuthatch.

Awesome.

Now, this may not be super crazy exciting to some of you, but to me, a self-admitted, dare I say, self-proclaimed wienie....this is HUGE. 


You see, before we left our old place, I had to gradually stop feeding all the birdie friends I had gathered over the past year....including our lovely little cardinal family... and that made me more than a wee bit sad.

 So, this weekend, I set about to cultivate my new crop of birds. We put both of my old feeders up and I also filled the 2 feeders that the previous owner/bird girl (the always wonderful MMW) had left here till spring. So, that means, I had 4... count 'em ... FOUR... feeders primed and ready to go. 


WAHOOOoooOoOOoooO!!!!


....and for 3 long dreary days they stood desolate and bare.


...mocking me with their blatant birdlessness  :(


Until this morning!!!!

YAY!!!!!!

I have birds again!!!


Thank you, my wee little chickadee-dee-dees...and nuthatch. I will take good care of you this winter. I promise.

All is now well in squirrel_e_girl world.




Stay Tuned for more super duper awesomely exciting updates from my feeders ;)

It Was the Best of Nights, It Was the Worst of Nights.

Well, actually, it was mostly the best of nights...the worst of nights part didn't start until 2am-ish so perhaps I should re-title...

It Was the Best of Nights, It Was the Worst of Really Early in the Mornings.

Allow me to elaborate...

This past Saturday night, I, along with 349 other lucite boys and girls

 ~ I interrupt this sentence to bring to your attention, the strangest autocorrect EVER ... The all-knowing Autocorrect Gods, in their wisdom, just corrected my misspelled "lucky" to read "lucite" ....which isn't even a real word. It's the trademark name of a kind of plastic that is used in the manufacturing of hot tubs ...and trendy jewellery ???

Allow me to get back to my sentence...

This past Saturday night, I, along with 349 other lucky boys and girls, attended a kick ass fundraiser organised in spectacular fashion by a beloved "Musings" reader. (Killer job, Angie!! You should be monstrously proud of yourself!! Woot!!) This was a sold-out, eagerly anticipated event that showcased the talent of 4 awesome local bands.

A month or so ago, when I first found out that this evening was in the works, I thought to myself, "Self, would you look at that line-up!! That is going to be one epic shindig. I bet everyone is going to be there."

.... and then I experienced an odd, unfamiliar stirring. (not one of those stirrings. Mind out of the gutter, please)

I was bewildered and alarmed by a sudden foreign impulse and I immediately questioned myself, "Self!!! What the hell is happening?? There must be something wrong with me!! Could I possibly actually want to actually go out and actually do something fun??? In public?? With people and everything?? People that I actually know?? Some for more than half my life?? Quick!! Dial 911!!! Stat!!"

I gave my head a good shake and lay down to wait for this crazy notion to pass...or, failing that, the arrival of the other 3 Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Bizarrely enough, neither of those things happened.

Later that day, my Sweetie came home from work and I filled him in on the freaky details of my afternoon and all he had to say was, "Sounds like fun. Sure we'll go."

Damn.

My fate was sealed.

The strangeness didn't end there.

Oh no.

Not by a long shot.

Not only did I NOT ONCE think of backing out and not going, but I also went into town and picked up the tickets MYSELF.

Oh, yes.

I did.

Myself.

...AND...

And... I invited some friends over to our place for some pre-show beverages.

BAM!!! Introverts of the World, please bask in the glow of my successful foray into Extreme Extraversion!!

Ok...enough basking.

So, after weeks of simmering excitement, the big day finally arrived.  As far as I could tell, pretty much everyone and their brother was going to be at this thing (only in my case it was my sister). I was giddy with thoughts of how ridiculous it was going to be. You see, for those of you not from Orillia, a few hundred drunk Orillians is quite a sight to behold.

 The evening held such promise!! I was super duper pumped.

A lovely visit with some lovely friends and 3 RockStars [+Vodka] later and I was on my way!!!

My initial disappointment after hearing that we missed my good friend's band's set was quickly buffered by the glorious spectacle that greeted us not 10 feet from the entrance....The lineup for the bar was at least 8 people across and a good 10-12 people long. I rubbed my hands together with glee. The potential for some good ol' Orillian shenanigans was HUGE!! I was even more gleeful when my Guy pointed out that my sister and bro-in-law just happened to be at the front of that mammoth line. "Hey Most Excellent Sister at the front of that mammoth line!! Can  you grab us a couple of Smirnoff Ice??" Oh yeah.

And so, it began.

And so, this post devolves into a sophomoric recount of my drunk girl escapades. Please accept my apologies.

As a general rule, I don't drink to excess so this was a noteworthy event.

Since my memory is greatly blotted out by the consumption of alcohol (particularly Smirnoff Ice), the details are a bit sketchy so this is a perfect time for me to compile...

"A Not-so-Comprehensive List of Things I'm Pretty Sure I Probably Experienced This Past Saturday Night"
by: squirrel_e_girl

• Within the first 4.3 minutes, I was startled by both....  a) a slap on my ass dealt by a dude I dated relatively seriously about 22 years ago (22 f%*king years ago!!?? How is that even possible??) and... b) the sudden and unexpected appearance of my mortgage broker who just happened to be standing next to the aforementioned former boyfriend. Now, that may not seem weird to you, but it completely freaked me out... in a good "oh my god that's hilarious" kinda way
• I saw my hairdresser
• I declared my deep undying platonic fondness to 2 maybe 3 people (who just happen to be beloved readers, too. Hi guys!!!) ...and I must stress that the quantity of declarations, by no means, diminishes the quality or sincerity of my words. Although I do hope that the Caesar Salad I had for supper didn't make the experience less than enjoyable for the objects of my, no doubt, close-talking affections.
• I passionately apologised (several times) to the owners of the poor dog whose face I accidentally slammed in a door (drawing blood) a few months ago while she was in my care :(
• I peed with my sister in a very small washroom stall
• I totally managed to survive a rather awkward encounter where I went on and on to a woman about how cool her wedding invitation was (I happened upon it while sorting through paperwork and packing last week) only to find out that she and her husband had just recently broken up. Apparently, I am waaaaayyy outta the loop.
• I put all of our auction tickets towards a pet portrait thingy that we very well might've won except my Guy didn't have his glasses and therefore couldn't read the wee lil numbers and I was too busy off galavanting being all extroverted-like to realise that the winning tickets were being drawn 

...which leads me to...

• I was an extremely inconsiderate date and left my poor non-native-Orillian Sweetie to fend for himself in a sea of drunk and disorderly Orillians for the bulk of the night. Tsk Tsk. Shame on me. I'm sorry.
• I relentlessly teased a guy who, years ago at a house party we had, thought that coming into my bathroom to talk to me...my ensuite, no less...while I was in the shower was a completely acceptable idea. (it was super late and I was hitting the hay). I don't think his wife had heard that particular story before ....oops.
• I sang "Ride, Sally. Ride" into the mic during Mustang Sally...at least I think I did. Although that may have been the last time I saw that band...5 years ago. Huh.... Leave that one with me.
• I had a very serious conversation with a friend about a very serious thing and I hope she knows that everything will all work out in the end and that she is an awesome Mom.
• I punched my Erstwhile Husband really really hard in the arm... just because :)

....and the Hands-Down-Without-a-Doubt Most Exciting Thing to Happen was...

•  seeing my most favourite pen-pal EVER for the first time in almost forever. One of the best surprises I've ever had the joy of experiencing. WAHOOOOO!!!

And then we went home and, as every fun evening out should end, I found myself lying on my bathroom floor in my underwear, crying hysterically for no apparent reason. Ahhhh!!! Good Times.

My MOST AMAZING GUY took gentle and wonderful care of me all the rest of the night/really early morning and I applaud his craftiness in convincing me that while he didn't doubt that my head was far too heavy for me to lift up off the floor and that if he just brought me a pillow, I'd be fine, he was almost 100% positive that it would be a whole lot easier for me to lean out of bed to throw up into a bucket than it would be for me to have to sit up and climb into the toilet bowl each and every time I barfed. The man is a genius. Thank You <3

My darling Son kept me company for most of the next morning and hung out in bed with me while I moaned and groaned and advised him to steer clear of the booze. He thought showing me this "Point of View" video of the new rollercoaster at Wonderland was a great idea. I didn't. It was some prime Mother-Son bonding time....I'm pretty sure parenting experts far and wide would agree.

I managed to ingest an Advil and a chocolate-dipped donut for brunch and we went for a nice hike with the hounds so the day wasn't a complete write-off.

I went to bed at 8:10 ....which is unheard of in squirrel_e_girl world...and I woke up this morning happy as a clam and fit as a fiddle.

The Day After the Day After is a beautiful thing.

The End.