tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71254209392438099622024-02-20T22:21:11.036-05:00Musings From the Squirrel Cagesquirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.comBlogger149125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-34095721761043012362017-05-21T21:44:00.000-04:002017-05-21T23:53:46.278-04:00My Worst Impulse Purchase. Ever.<div class="entryHead primary_homograph" id="impulse purchase_Noun_000" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(1, 100, 167); margin: 0px 20px 9px; padding: 18px 0px;">
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<span style="font-family: "noto_serif_devanagari" , "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">Alternately Titled</span></span><span style="font-size: small;">:</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;">Remind Me to Never Go Shopping With Katy Again. Ever.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "noto_serif_devanagari" , "merriweather" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">Alternately Titled</span></span><span style="font-size: small;">:</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><b style="font-family: noto_serif_devanagari, merriweather, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree.</span></b></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "noto_serif_devanagari" , "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Alternately Titled</span>:</span> <b><span style="font-size: small;">I Think I Must've Been Dropped On My Head When I Was Less Than 15 Hours Old. (oh, wait...that was Katy. What the hell is MY </span></b></span><b style="font-family: noto_serif_devanagari, merriweather, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">excuse?)</span></b></h2>
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<i style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: merriweather, sans-serif;">**********</i></h2>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: merriweather, sans-serif;"><b>IMPULSE PURCHASE</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: merriweather, sans-serif;"><b>noun</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: merriweather, sans-serif;"><i>A thing that one buys without planning to do so in advance, as a result of a sudden whim or impulse.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: merriweather, sans-serif;"><i>"We all sometimes make impulse purchases and regret them a few hours later."</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">That is the Oxford Living Dictionary's definition of "impulse purchase". </span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">My definition of "impulse purchase" is virtually identical but with the addition of several swears, one or two, quite possibly three, facepalm emojis and a bunch of these "!!!!!!".</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">I'm not really a "shopper" and as such, I don't do much shopping. Being somewhat of a miser and being a wholewhat of a hermit kinda work together to preclude me from being a prime candidate for Shopaholic status so I've always considered myself safe from the perils of impulse buying. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Until this past Monday.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Twas the Day After Mother's Day...and Katy, having had to work on actual Mother's Day, was treating me to a lovely Mama/Daughter afternoon of lunch followed by a visit to my favourite store to pick out a Mother's Day wee giftie of my choice. (followed by her waiting in a dentist's waiting room for an hour while I had my teeth cleaned...but that's not an integral part of this story)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Lunch was at a neat little place called "<a href="http://www.shinejuicebar.ca/menu" target="_blank">Shine</a>". It's a vegan juice bar and cafe so it was delicious AND nutritious. Since I have spent the winter focusing primarily on the delicious, I am in dire need of the more nutritious side of things, this extremely healthy meal left me feeling quite proud of myself. (</span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">I didn't know then that blissful feeling of pride was soon to be crushed...in a big big way.)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Katy insisted on paying for our lunch.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">YAY!! </span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Having an adult child who is gainfully employed ....and generous...is so much fun!!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">We strolled up the street and into my favourite shop, <a href="http://www.orilliabirdhouse.com/" target="_blank">The Bird House Nature Company</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">I had my heart set on getting an oriole feeder <i>(I know these guys are hanging around our little neighbourhood and I wanted to lure them over to my house...a story of heartbreak and joy that I may recount at a later date)</i>and I immediately began to hmmmm and haaa my way around the oriole feeder display.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">After several minutes of this, Katy says,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">"I'll leave you to it. I'll be over there petting the cat."</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Fair enough.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Can't say that I blamed her. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">I'd also rather pet the store cat than watch me/be me trying to make a decision about which one of two possible oriole feeders to buy. My decision-making skills (or lack thereof) annoy/bore me at the best of times, I can only imagine what it's like to be on the outside looking in. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">As a wise old philosopher once said, " I know one thing...indecision may or may not be my problem."</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">I eventually DID make my decision (emphasis on the "eventually") and selected a beautifully tacky, orange plastic oriole feeder. Apparently, orioles' taste in feeders veers rather dramatically away from the subtly rustic theme I've been cultivating with my feeder station.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Ain't she a beaut??</span></div>
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<img alt="" id="id_24f0_caff_2fd7_958c" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBTkYSc1Weej4O4cx3GIDT3p9dCzXX3oRbZjuuMjOAS3WAEJTLLFM5zAOHjuQr1PplycSavXTl5RNL9zbmVo7wZ79kxahK_0oxwygFSwEW16b30f4ZoB7xol3O6NQSaq8oh2lpncdKxgg/" style="height: auto; width: 298px;" title="" tooltip="" /> <span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Ah well...à chacun son goût.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">(and, yes, I did Google that to make sure I got the accents right)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">We made our way to the cash counter and Katy pulled out her wallet(again) to pay for my Mother's Day gift and I told her that lunch was more than enough of a treat and I had been planning on buying the feeder since last summer and then I paid for it myself.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">While it's fun to have gainfully employed and generous children, it's also fun to tell them to put their wallet away.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Now...believe it or not...the big, tacky, bright orange plastic bird feeder was NOT my regretful and ridiculous impulse purchase. As previously mentioned, I have been intending to buy one of those horrible looking things for months...so there was zero fast and/or last minute decision-making involved in that purchase.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">After I finished paying for my feeder and box of powdered oriole food, Katy turned to leave the store and I grabbed her and said, </span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">"Let's keep looking! They've got lots of great stuff!!"</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">She said,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">"Sure!!"</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">And this is where the wheels fell off.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Dammit.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">We wandered around the store looking at all the fun stuff and happened upon a small and tasteful display of felt cat beds. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">They were not inexpensive.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">But they WERE awesome.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">For those of you unfamiliar with felt cat beds, you can take a peek at a sampling <a href="https://www.google.ca/search?q=felt+cat+beds&safe=off&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwia4uPupoHUAhUD0YMKHYthD04QsAQIOQ&biw=2560&bih=1196" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">I thought they were a hoot and Katy did too...and we giggled and tee hee'd at the thought of our two guys hanging out in these things. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">It totally cracked us up.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Completely.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">And then she said...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">"You should buy one!"</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">I said,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">"YES!! Which one? They're all hilarious! Except maybe that one. I don't know what that one even is."</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">So we quickly discussed the merits and demerits of a couple of them and settled on one that we figured they could both fit into...they like to snuggle.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">And then I gave my head a quick shake and said,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">"You know what...nah...that's a lot of money. I can't do it."</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">And then she said,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">"We can go halves and it can be your Mother's Day gift from me and you to you."</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">And I said,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">"YES!!"</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">And we giddily walked back up to the cash counter with our expensively hilarious felt cat bed and bought it.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">When we got home, we rushed inside and woke both cats up and plunked them down in front of their uproariously clever new bed and they crawled right in and cuddled up and loved it and that's where they spend all their time now and we get to giggle whenever we see them using it and think to ourselves,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">"Man oh Man!! That was the BEST impulse purchase we've ever made...EVER!!"</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">No.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">That's not what happened. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">They had no interest in it.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">None.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Zero.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Zip.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Zilch.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">...even when we tried to lure them in with treats. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">They stuck their heads in and ate the treats and walked away and haven't looked at it since...not even to sleep on top of it.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Ingrates.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Wanna see a photo of this glorious, over-priced and under-used piece of cat bed craftsmanship?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">I bet you do.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Here it is:</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">It's empty.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">As usual.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Oh....and it's supposed to be an apple. (It seemed much more hilarious in the store...I guess you kinda had to be there.)</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<img alt="" id="id_edeb_3577_ecd4_583b" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVXURxxP0LfDx9ZJl5Ug_CLnstJNw6cRLnVlXPmWO-ERsZBKTw9-FKYlh4nBNF79VBTRXdeAUcxDZcGig-GRKk988JwfRJqqBa3dIFJjNEURlYz5LSzD8xUTthMOS8kxR2XtVUb4TILjM/" style="height: auto; width: 298px;" title="" tooltip="" /> </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Super funny, right?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Ugh.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Now here's a video of it in action:</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">...I placed an empty Liquor Store bag beside it as an experiment.</span><br />
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/6hun3TVKAXQ/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6hun3TVKAXQ?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">Here is another riveting video of the cat bed:</span><br />
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;">...only this time I added a plastic bag.</span><br />
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/hmy_UL3413Q/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hmy_UL3413Q?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "merriweather" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;">Yeah...</span><br />
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;">So...</span><br />
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;">There it is.</span><br />
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;">My Worst Impulse Purchase.</span><br />
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;">Ever.</span><br />
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;">Anyone in the market for a Not-Even-a-Little-Bit-Used, fancy, Supposed-to-Look-Like-an-Apple super hilarious felt cat bed??</span><br />
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;">I know a guy...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;">Waaaait a second...</span><br />
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hold that thought!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I might have to rescind that most generous offer!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Maybe if I put the plastic bag INSIDE the bed, the cats might actually use it...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">BINGO!!!</span></div>
</section>squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-19428411134593042952017-05-19T23:37:00.001-04:002017-05-19T23:46:28.599-04:00A little bit of accountability never hurt anyone...<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Ok... so... this is a quick message to those of you who have been quietly and subtly encouraging me get back to writing my silly and rather self-indulgent blog:</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Firstly, thank you.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Your gentle nudging has meant the world to me. Really really. Thanks. You are wonderful :)</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Secondly, I just had a nice long shower and managed to finally settle on what I'm going to write about. I'm not promising anything close to greatness. It's ridiculous...but at least it's something.</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Thirdly, I'm sending this announcement out into the Universe ...and to you guys... so that I have some sort of accountability so I actually have to get off my arse and write the goddamn thing ...and I'm speaking figuratively here. I usually do have to be ON my arse to write ... not off.</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;">So, yeah... my weirdo creative "process" has begun to sloooooowly crawl out of the quagmire of inertia that is my comfy comfort zone.</p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;">I've even got a few titles that I'm bouncing around:</p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;">My Worst Impulse Buy. Ever.</p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;">Remind Me to Never Go Shopping With Katy Again. Ever.</p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;">The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree.</p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;">I Think I Must've Been Dropped On My Head When I Was a Newborn (Oh, Wait ...That Was Katy. What the Hell is MY Excuse?)</p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;">Stay tuned!!!</p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p>squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-26038234335691582752014-10-01T22:52:00.002-04:002014-10-01T23:14:11.747-04:00A Modern Day (Netflix-Viewing) Tragedy...My Guy and I have become mired down in what could quite possibly be crowned as THE Definitive First World Problem.<br />
<br />
Let me preface this by saying that I don't watch much TV... at all.<br />
<br />
Really.<span style="font-size: x-small;"> I've convinced myself that Netflix doesn't count as TV...sshhhhhhhh...don't burst my bubble. </span><br />
<br />
I watch The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones and that's pretty much it.<br />
<br />
...and their seasons basically run back to back so I'm good for about an hour a week.<br />
<br />
Tops.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I'm not sure why I felt the need for any sort of preface...but a preface is what you got.</span><br />
<br />
So, a couple of weeks ago, we started watching Battlestar Galactica on Netflix.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">..the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2x14ZhEc9k" target="_blank">re-imagined series</a>... NOT to be confused with the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHD1uPVkyk0" target="_blank">most excellent original one </a>from way back when that my little kid self was super obsessed with ...this is the one that I am obsessed with right now as a grown up adult person.</span><br />
<br />
At first, all was going swimmingly.<br />
<br />
We were really really enjoying the show in all its post-apocalyptic, space fantasy, campy glory.<br />
<br />
It was awesome!!!<br />
<br />
Spending nice time together, cuddling on the couch with the dogs and kitten.<br />
<br />
Quality family bonding time is what it was!! Yes, indeedy.<br />
<br />
We had deep conversations trying to figure out who was a Cylon and who wasn't. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(I've actually got my suspicions that Shane is a Cylon, too, but we'll keep that just between you and me)</span><br />
<br />
We even incorporated Battlestar Galactica lingo into our everyday conversations...<br />
<br />
"Gods Damn it!! I forgot to buy milk!!"<br />
<br />
"I wish the fraking dog would fraking quit barking."<br />
<br />
"Oh my gods, that kitten is so fraking adorable."<br />
<br />
"Where the frak did I leave my wallet??"<br />
<br />
"Don't get all up in my grill...I'm the good Gaius."<br />
<br />
You know, the usual stuff.<br />
<br />
We had settled into a nice sensible Netflix viewing groove and were watching an episode or two...sometimes three... a night, if/when we had a chance.<br />
<br />
No big deal...<br />
<br />
Until we noticed a little tiny notation at the bottom of the Netflix Battlestar Galactica Episode Page <span style="font-size: x-small;">(not entirely sure if that's really what the actual page is called but I'm going with it).</span><br />
<br />
This little tiny seemingly harmless notation read <b>"Available until October 1"</b>.<br />
<br />
Available until October 1st???<br />
<br />
As in a week and a half from the day that we noticed this godsforsaken life-altering notation???<br />
<br />
....<br />
<br />
....<br />
<br />
WHAT THE FRAK!!!<br />
<br />
OH MY GODS!!!<br />
<br />
HOW THE FRAKING HELL ARE WE GOING TO WATCH THE LAST TWO SEASONS THAT HAVE LIKE 21 FRAKING EPISODES <b>EACH</b> BEFORE THE 1st OF GODSDAMN OCTOBER ???<br />
<br />
Needless to say, our easy casual Battlestar Galactica viewing shifted into Extreme Battlestar Galactica Binge Watching Mode.<br />
<br />
We were fraking committed!!<br />
<br />
And we almost made it, too.<br />
<br />
Almost.<br />
<br />
We finished Season 4 Episode 10 last night/this morning at 12:20am....and we had to surrender.<br />
<br />
We need our sleep.<br />
<br />
We both have jobs.<br />
<br />
We have to be at the top of our games.<span style="font-size: x-small;"> (One of us is responsible for ensuring that a city with the population of 160 000 has clean drinking water. One of us picks up dog poo for a living. Clear, sharp thinking is a MUST!! Sleep-deprived minds are NOT clear and sharp!!)</span><br />
<br />
It was a sacrifice we had to make. If we've learned one thing from the survivors of the 2nd Cylon Revolution, it's that life's all about tough decisions. You can't take the easy way out or people DIE gods damn it!!! They DIE!!!<br />
<br />
There are 21 episodes in the final season.<br />
<br />
We made it through 10.<br />
<br />
We have 11 left.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(See the math I just did there?? Impressive, no?)</span><br />
<br />
It isn't on Netflix anymore.<br />
<br />
I checked.<br />
<br />
It was the first thing I did this morning when I woke up.<br />
<br />
GodsDamn.<br />
<br />
All is not lost though.<br />
<br />
We can actually watch the rest online.<br />
<br />
There are pirated links all over the place...<br />
<br />
But...<br />
<br />
It just won't be the same.<br />
<br />
Our BluRay player was Netflix-equipped so we could watch it on our TV...sitting on our big comfy couch ... with our Bose surround sound system. It was awesome.<br />
<br />
And now we have to sit hunched at our computer.<br />
<br />
Our mission was not accomplished.<br />
<br />
Sorry Admiral Adama.<br />
<br />
We fraked up.<br />
<br />
Big time.<br />
<br />
So now you know where we'll be...<br />
<br />
Sitting hunched at the computer...<br />
<br />
For 11, 42-minute-long episodes.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://store.qmxonline.com/assets/images/battlestar/Tshirts/FrakMe/BSG_Frak_Me-detail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://store.qmxonline.com/assets/images/battlestar/Tshirts/FrakMe/BSG_Frak_Me-detail.jpg" height="206" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
************<br />
P.S.<br />
My Guy found this video today and it's hilarious and makes me feel like less of a fraking wackjob.<br />
<br />
He and I are not alone.<br />
<br />
Take a peek: (Don't worry about the fact that the video is 10 minutes long...Really, it's only the first few minutes that are funny to anyone who has gone off the edge binge-watching a series. The last half of the video is probably funny only to those who are BGCrazy...so you only have to commit to a few measly minutes...You can do it!! I know you can!! It's not like you have to watch 11 X 42 minutes in order for your life to have meaning again. A few measly minutes is nothing...NOTHING, I say!!)<br />
<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/ob42vhhtw7A?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
***********<br />
<br />
And here's a pretty fall-ish picture to<a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2012/10/attention-fellow-bloggers.html" target="_blank"> boost my page view count</a>:<br />
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<a href="http://www.nhcornmaze.com/images/pumpkin6.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.nhcornmaze.com/images/pumpkin6.gif" height="214" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-17932821098850302642014-06-18T17:49:00.001-04:002014-06-18T17:54:38.225-04:00The name's Wizard. Social Wizard.<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPKBmnZHy6_R0vauy42aB1rx-CXsOv3DcOs26bqjG7g3AXiCSqQOF4gNs7JBDJvYdqSHngKv1skiGgqoGs84SwgTV4YzFwHjoggaUkmwGbdMWF3sJ7y0Gs8XW0jiXvWoNQjjrHfA1o_3c/s640/blogger-image-572452706.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPKBmnZHy6_R0vauy42aB1rx-CXsOv3DcOs26bqjG7g3AXiCSqQOF4gNs7JBDJvYdqSHngKv1skiGgqoGs84SwgTV4YzFwHjoggaUkmwGbdMWF3sJ7y0Gs8XW0jiXvWoNQjjrHfA1o_3c/s640/blogger-image-572452706.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj04cC3mRTJZFWXBctZCiFNs3nOEAgB1IZzLFDdEuL03B4zIPXfO6WIaLfsexmmfzBcTnAfaJSUnS8aS6xDh6nTzSj4gvvwh0qWKXb11gYftsx6eLR1MGWl8oKJMzYxILjmazADd_woBZA/s640/blogger-image-1830067817.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj04cC3mRTJZFWXBctZCiFNs3nOEAgB1IZzLFDdEuL03B4zIPXfO6WIaLfsexmmfzBcTnAfaJSUnS8aS6xDh6nTzSj4gvvwh0qWKXb11gYftsx6eLR1MGWl8oKJMzYxILjmazADd_woBZA/s640/blogger-image-1830067817.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwfDtv5Kh3AT56v6tjrfsPwlTN8_yG-ZeHZIHFDaCM3QDKrmEIkO3n4izr3aPsijMTa3w8gRD7DAvpZeZk6q4Q662jwloxKBqELyb2p00yL9Oup5Zjnxegrnq_0v6q8QmpnnHFLljaxiI/s640/blogger-image--61099052.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwfDtv5Kh3AT56v6tjrfsPwlTN8_yG-ZeHZIHFDaCM3QDKrmEIkO3n4izr3aPsijMTa3w8gRD7DAvpZeZk6q4Q662jwloxKBqELyb2p00yL9Oup5Zjnxegrnq_0v6q8QmpnnHFLljaxiI/s640/blogger-image--61099052.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTypkJvAm_I_lvQShd6Z4DXyYO4lAGzFQHiFU7NxmJBV1PNbgn3PMu3JQEKHe5WMI8Hxp6jNBGgDYWCnyq4_FNqM49ZgQ0Ct2SS9mpz_u-UXjX74KvitODwypyM9cpq2WnNzuD3VZ_0hQ/s640/blogger-image--1021183373.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
So, as you may or may not know, I sometimes struggle with the fine art of making small talk...thinking on my feet isn't one of my strong suits. I'm really really bad at it. It's kinda why I write.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I also sometimes struggle with letting things go...including and <i>especially</i> my social blunders. I like to hold on tight to those bad boys and tuck them away somewhere nice and handy so they're real easy to grab if ever I get the urge to make fun of myself. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Sometimes I like to laugh WITH myself. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Other times I prefer to laugh AT myself.</div>
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<br /></div>
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...depends on my mood. </div>
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<br /></div>
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For instance, the other day, I saw a friend who is experiencing some pretty major health issues and as I walked by I quipped, "Hey ----!! How're you doing?" </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
...and quickly carried on my way, internally smashing myself on the forehead for asking such a dumbass question of this wonderful person who was very obviously NOT "doing" o.k.</div>
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<br /></div>
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There's actually no laugh "at" OR "with" for that one and I've managed to beat myself up rather handily and have since sworn to change my "go to" social greeting/pleasantry to:</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
"Hi ----!! Nice to see you!!"</div>
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...or something like that. </div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">If you have any other suggestions, please leave them in the comments below.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">I would be most appreciative. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">I need all the help I can get :D</span></i></div>
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That social "oops" came right on the heels of another that happened last Friday, although the Friday one is one that I can very definitely laugh AT myself about. I've had more than several chuckles and head shakes since it happened.</div>
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Immediately after the fact, I thought to myself:</div>
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"Self, that's the kind of thing you used to write blog posts about when you used to write blog posts. You should maybe start writing again."</div>
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"Yeah, maybe...but who really gives a shit about reading about my social ineptness ...or would it be ineptitude??? hmmm dunno"</div>
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...and I left it at that. </div>
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But now since I'm apparently writing again and I am STILL shaking my head and chuckling about it, I thought I'd write a fascinating post about it. </div>
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Although instead of actually writing about it, I'm going to create a sort of photo essay using the screen shots of a text chat I had with my fravourite friend. She and I appreciate and understand each other's "quirks" and quite often share them as a form of entertainment and/or as a means to elicit support and compassion. </div>
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We've been doing this for nearly 30 years. It's a good system.</div>
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So here it is:</div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">"Social Wizardry: A Photo Essay"</span></u></b></div>
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(I'm blue)</div>
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<br />
<br />
...and we then went on to have a rather intelligent discussion about the results of last week's provincial election. We aren't total self-absorbed wankers.<br />
<br />
The End.<br />
<br />
**oh, and as a note of explanation...the "I like your house" bit was a crack aimed at a line I used 25 years ago in an ill-fated effort to pick up a very handsome young man at a party he was throwing at his house.<br />
<br />
In my defence, it WAS a cool house...<br />
<br />
...and I DID like it.<br />
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<br />
<br />
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<br />squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-63659091812156704262014-06-14T23:44:00.000-04:002014-06-15T09:33:12.071-04:00"She turned me into a newt!" ...and something kinda serious, too.Hey!! Look what I nearly stepped on today!!!<br />
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Now, I know you all are thinking "What a cool looking salamander!!"....alas, Beloved Readers, you are incorrect.<br />
<br />
You see, I, too, leapt to the conclusion that it was a salamander but when I got home, I immediately Google Image-searched "red salamander" only to find that I was mistaken. A red salamander is something entirely <a href="http://www.marshall.edu/herp/salamanders/northern_red.htm" target="_blank">different</a>.<br />
<br />
Curious, I decided to broaden my scope...by limiting it somewhat...<span style="font-size: x-small;">weird</span>... and Google Image-searched "Ontario Salamander" and I learned that....<br />
<br />
It is NOT a cool looking salamander.<br />
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It is a cool looking NEWT!!<br />
<br />
<i>No... not a N.E.W.T.... a NEWT....a <a href="http://n.e.w.t./">N.E.W.T.</a> is, again, something entirely different.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
And it's not just any run of the mill kind of newt, it's so cool it actually has two names. It answers either to the ho-hum name, "<a href="http://www.ontarionature.org/protect/species/reptiles_and_amphibians/eastern_newt.php" target="_blank">Eastern Newt</a>" OR to the fancier but rather obvious name, "<a href="http://www.ontarionature.org/protect/species/reptiles_and_amphibians/eastern_newt.php" target="_blank">Red-Spotted Newt</a>".<br />
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And did you know that it is the only newt that lives in Central/South Ontario??<br />
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<i>Well, to clarify, there's probably more than just this guy living in Central/South Ontario but the Eastern Newt/ RSN is the only species of newt that lives around here.</i><br />
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I thought that was pretty neat.<br />
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I've seen loads of salamander but he's my one and only newt and I was moved to share my big news with you guys.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/b8vqb19bAGI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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Don't mention it...you are most welcome!!<br />
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:D<br />
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p.s. I realize I haven't been around much over the past few months...<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Holy Crap!! I just checked and I can't believe I haven't written anything since November! </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">wow. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">My bad.</span><br />
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My world has been a bit hectic and strange over the past year and the hectic strange stuff really ramped up from October onward, so in accordance with my own special brand of self-preservation, any of my downtime was spent being passively entertained.<br />
<br />
I kinda slipped outta "Writer Mode" and found myself very solidly in "Reader Mode".<br />
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I've been reading voraciously. Some good stuff. Some crap stuff. But I read my brains out for six-ish months and it was fun :D<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLK0Aqb3OA-bP6pHRT9bcDEPYpQwOB7z19iERZ6CF2iOSsIhkpOTaVFV6kKVrb5kdzObldqdqzEADMXtH_4jPvO8fK62CEmzkDjgd8R8wccFgHSQIxTI9-gLdWOZD248RzxU-m2ll3x-Y/s1600/readingescape.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLK0Aqb3OA-bP6pHRT9bcDEPYpQwOB7z19iERZ6CF2iOSsIhkpOTaVFV6kKVrb5kdzObldqdqzEADMXtH_4jPvO8fK62CEmzkDjgd8R8wccFgHSQIxTI9-gLdWOZD248RzxU-m2ll3x-Y/s1600/readingescape.jpg" height="208" width="320" /></a></div>
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Oh...and I also discovered Netflix and got sucked down into THAT rabbit-hole. It's sooooo awesome...and wildly time-consuming.<br />
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<br />
Here we are now. Entertain us.<br />
<br />
I won't go into some of the stuff that weighed me down but I will touch briefly on one thing because it's pretty important and most people don't know a whole lot about it and if even ONE person reads this and learns something new, then that is great.<br />
<br />
Ok...<br />
<br />
My Guy has Lyme Disease.<br />
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And it sucks.<br />
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In a big bad way...and his story is nowhere near the worst I've seen.... but this thing has really kicked the crap out of him.<br />
<br />
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />
hmmmm....I've been sitting here for the past half hour trying to figure out how to explain it all and I'm just not sure where to go with it. I could try to tell his whole story but that would take a looooong time to write and it's confusing and convoluted and I don't think I'm up to the challenge.<br />
<br />
I guess I'll take a stab at writing up my own explanation which will probably be confusing as hell so if you're interested in reading actual experts describe this just skip down to the blue link and it'll tell you all you need to know...<br />
<br />
Now...<br />
<br />
Most people know very little about this disease ...I know I didn't. I knew you got Lyme from a tick bite and dogs could get it too. I didn't know that it's an inflammatory disease. If not caught and treated early, Lyme Disease can wreak havoc on almost every system in your body. It imitates many autoimmune diseases which makes diagnosis... to those not familiar with Lyme... pretty tricky. It can be mistaken for Rheumatoid Arthritis, MS, ALS, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Lupus, Crohn's, HIV, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Huntington's...quite a list.<br />
<br />
The thing is...while the symptoms of Lyme may mimic those diseases, most of which are incurable, if those symptoms don't respond to to the usual treatment or don't quite fit into what is "normal" for those diseases or nothing seems to help...and if Lyme is considered a possibility and it turns out it IS Lyme...it IS, in most cases, treatable with a long term course of antibiotics.<br />
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That's where the trouble starts.<br />
<br />
Actually the trouble starts with the fact that most doctors don't know anything about Lyme other than a quick text book explanation and so, Lyme is rarely considered a possibility.<br />
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If you can actually convince your doc that you think you have Lyme and they send you for a blood test to "confirm" it, the testing in Ontario (and all of Canada) is horrifically unreliable, yielding many many false negatives and if that one test comes back negative...Lyme is ruled out. It doesn't matter if you present with all the symptoms of Lyme, diagnosis in Ontario is based strictly on one blood test. It will not be treated with only a clinical diagnosis.<br />
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It is next to impossible to get the treatment that is needed to cure Lyme. Doctors refuse to prescribe a long term course (3 months?? 6 months?? 1 year?? 2 years?? etc etc...until symptoms clear up) of antibiotics to Lyme patients.<br />
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The crazy thing is that they will prescribe them for HIV, TB, ocular rosacea (as will be explained later on) but for whatever reason, they will not for Lyme and if they DO...they will get their medical licence suspended.<br />
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This forces people to seek diagnosis and treatment in the US...and it is expensive and inconvenient and just plain old crappy.<br />
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It is the strangest, weirdest most frustrating thing.<br />
<br />
This weirdo thing has turned me into a sort of half-assed conspiracy theorist and if I talk about for too long, I start sounding like a ranting <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/zealot" target="_blank">zealot</a>. And that's not cool.<br />
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The reason why I am desperate for people to learn about Lyme and how to prevent it and, failing that, how to recognize it and how to treat it, is the fact that the changing climate is allowing the tick population to move further north...up into our neck of the woods. I just want people to have a wee bit of knowledge.<br />
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Awareness is everything!!!<br />
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<br />
So, if you're still with me, please explore at least the first link and read what people who actually know what they're talking about explain why it's important to learn about Lyme:<br />
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<a href="http://www.macleans.ca/society/health/the-truth-about-lyme-disease/">http://www.macleans.ca/society/health/the-truth-about-lyme-disease/</a> <--- a great article in Maclean's that explains... coherently... what I've been trying to say.<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://canlyme.com/lyme-prevention/">http://canlyme.com/lyme-prevention/</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.ilads.org/">http://www.ilads.org/</a><br />
<br />
The leader of Canada's Green Party, Elizabeth May, is <span style="font-size: xx-small;">this </span>close to making significant changes in the diagnosis and treatment of Lyme. She is an angel. There's still a looooooong way to go ...but it's a start:<br />
<a href="https://www.greenparty.ca/media-release/2014-06-11/elizabeth-may-s-act-create-federal-framework-lyme-disease-passes-house-comm">https://www.greenparty.ca/media-release/2014-06-11/elizabeth-may-s-act-create-federal-framework-lyme-disease-passes-house-comm</a><br />
<br />
And here's a Nature of Things episode that delves into the Lyme Disease problem in Canada:<br />
<a href="http://www.cbc.ca/natureofthings/episodes/ticked-off-the-mystery-of-lyme-disease">http://www.cbc.ca/natureofthings/episodes/ticked-off-the-mystery-of-lyme-disease</a><br />
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So...pretty please with sugar on top, do me a great big monster favour... learn about Lyme Disease and how to prevent it. It'd mean a whole lot to me.<br />
<br />
Thanks!!<br />
<br />
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p.p.s If you have any interest at all in reading about My Guy's particular story, I've written about it and I tried to be clear and concise in my story telling...I even used bullet points to make it look like I'm not rambling but really, it's just an excuse for me to not use proper sentence structure. I wrote this before I wrote anything else Lyme-related so there are a few redundancies...huh...weird.<br />
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If you're NOT interested in reading my horrible rambling writing....this is your final warning.<br />
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I hardly even proof-read it since I'm pretty sure most everyone has bailed by now. I'm just going to hit "Publish"<br />
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Head back!!<br />
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Before it's too late!!<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Rough Timeline for My Guy's Lyme Journey<br />
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<br />
<ul>
<li>His jaw got sore. Really sore. Eating was painful chore. Was treated by a physiotherapist for TMJ for a few months but saw little to no improvement.</li>
<li>His fingers started to swell and his joints started to ache. He had a hard time getting dressed, brushing his teeth, climbing stairs, sitting down...pretty much everything.</li>
<li>Diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis...even though his symptoms didn't really fit the disease. One blood test indicated that it might be RA and the docs latched onto that and ran with it.Treated with the "entry level" meds but they didn't seem to work so they upped the ante and put him on a stronger drug and 2 days after the first full dose his world turned upside down...at least that's how his brain saw it. He fell down in the bathroom and got a ambulance ride to hospital and was told he was suffering from an episode of "Profound Vertigo" and tinnitus and given a bunch of meds to help him "stabilize". The emerg doc thought it may have been a reaction to the injection he had for his arthritis and recommended that he try a different treatment. He was told it would take anywhere from days to weeks to months before it would go away.</li>
<li>Rheumatologist flatly disagreed that it was a reaction to the arthritis injection and directed him to stick to his weekly injection. He did it one more time. Ended up feeling worse than he did when he was in the hospital with any progress made was wiped out. He couldn't walk across a room by himself. I had to help him stand. The buzzing in his ears was relentless and he couldn't concentrate on anything. He was off work for a month.</li>
<li>During this time he had an appointment with his ophthalmologist for pre-existing and "unrelated" condition...(or at least we thought it was unrelated) and when the doctor heard about what had been going on, he asked two questions: "Have you spent much time in the woods lately?" (Yes...yes he had. We live in the woods and had been doing a ton of clearing up of dead wood) "Have you spent any time in southwest Ontario? " (Yes ...yes, he had...Each summer we spend a week camping in Long Point). The doc then implored him to get tested for Lyme Disease and when the standard Ontario test came back negative (which it did) he was to send blood samples to California to be tested for Lyme there. Also, he strongly suggested that he NOT take any more drugs that compromise the immune system...which is exactly what the methotrexate injection did. He guesses that once the immune system was turned down a few notches by the injections, the Lyme bacteria was given free reign over his body and went in to hyper-drive and the symptoms multiplied and worsened.</li>
<li>Rheumatologist, upon reflection, decided that what My Guy was suffering from was probably not RA because it was not responding to treatment the way RA typically does. Suggests that it could be MS and sets up an MRI to explore further....MRI shows that it isn't MS either. Rheumatologist emphatically refuses to consider Lyme as a possibility "This is NOT Lyme Disease. Chronic Lyme Disease does NOT exist!"</li>
<li>Found a local Lyme Literate Naturopathic doc who after taking note of all of the symptoms My Guy was presenting, told us that he had approximately 80% of the listed symptoms of Lyme and that it was his opinion that it WAS Lyme Disease and wanted to start a course of treatment right away...which meant either flying to BC for treatment or travelling to New York state (both options would be prohibitively expensive) to be treated because Ontario refuses to treat Lyme with an extended course of antibiotics. We did send blood to the lab in California and it came back positive for Lyme.</li>
<li>Yup...Positive for Lyme Disease </li>
<li>SO....in a remarkable lucky twist of fate, the "drug of choice" in the treatment of Lyme is a very strong antibiotic called, Doxycycline, is also the drug that he had been prescribed one year previously to treat his ocular rosacea. After the initial two week course(in the fall of 2012) cleared up the ulcers on his corneas, he was told to take pill or two a week just to keep the ulcers at bay. He was probably going to have to do this for the rest of his life...So he had a prescription for Doxy (with many many repeats) to treat one condition but no one in Canada (except one Naturopathic Doctor in BC) would prescribe long term for Lyme...because long term antibiotic use is "bad"</li>
<li>Taking matters into our own hands, we did a big BIG no-no and, along with the protocol that the NatPath doc set up for him, My Guy started taking the Doxy at the recommended dosage to treat Lyme Disease...and slowly but surely, day by day, month by month, he started feeling better.</li>
<li>The full body inflammation and painful joints subsided "Your arthritis seems to have gone into remission." -says Rheumatologist. How strange...</li>
<li>The buzzing in his ears gradually stopped...mostly</li>
<li>He is able to stand up and walk without feeling dizzy</li>
<li>He is able to stand for extended periods of time without need to hold onto something to prevent himself from falling</li>
<li>He is able to DO stuff</li>
<li>It's amazing!!!!</li>
<li>So, an extended course of antibiotics has cleared up most of his symptoms... and this is after being told by two Family Physicians, one Rheumatologist, one Infectious Disease Doc and one Neurologist that because that one (highly unreliable) blood test came back negative, he couldn't possibly have Lyme Disease and that there was no such thing as Chronic Lyme Disease.</li>
<li>These are the explanations we have received from the neurologist: a) He just must have a predisposition to inflammation(that has "mysteriously" gone into remission) b) the vertigo and tinnitus were most likely caused by an ear infection (which the Ear, Nose Throat specialist determined that it was not) and that 3) any of the cognitive difficulty he was having (which was LOTS...losing words, trouble concentrating, unable to complete sentences, memory loss, difficulty processing information and acting on it, difficulty with comprehensive reading) was because he was in pain because of the inflammation, and pain makes you tired and when you're tired you feel a little off....yeah...that's it...he's just been tired...???... We even told the neurologist our top secret secret that he was taking the Doxy and he replied that it is thought that Doxy may have some anti-inflammatory properties and it really was just a coincidence that he was feeling better. Case Closed .... <b><span style="font-size: large;">OR</span></b> ... And this is my explanation: he could've been bitten by a bug that transmitted a bacteria that causes all the symptoms he was presenting and once proper long term antibiotic treatment was administered these symptoms started to subside. </li>
</ul>
So, as it stands now, after 6 months of Doxy, he is feeling almost back to himself. He has been such a trooper and has stubbornly and stoically made his way through these challenging and frustrating and painful months and has done his best to not let Lyme run/ruin his life. He still has crappy days but on the whole he is feeling waaaaaaayyyy better.<br />
<br />
YAY!!!!!<br />
<br />
The kicker is that we can't even tell the other doctors that he's been taking the Doxy for Lyme or, more importantly, that it actually WORKED because ever since it was established that the medical community was refusing to consider Lyme as a possibility, we let the matter drop and haven't spoken of it again.<br />
<br />
"Lyme Disease?? What Lyme Disease??"<br />
<br />
We've wanted to stay under the radar because we are afraid that our "golden ticket"...the Doxy he is being prescribed for his eyes ...will be taken away if they find out he's using it to treat Lyme.<br />
<br />
It can come back...if one little bacteria spirochete bastard is still floating around in his body...once treatment stops...it can come back. And we need that prescription.<br />
<br />
Well that's it.<br />
<br />
Fingers crossed that the nasty little bastards are on their way out...permanently.<br />
<br />
I love you, Sweetie!! You've been a Rock Star!!<br />
<br />
I'm gonna go curl up in bed and switch from "Writer Mode" back into "Reader Mode"....<br />
<br />
Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11710373-written-in-my-own-heart-s-blood" target="_blank">Jamie and Claire!!</a> I'm coming back!! See, I told you I wouldn't be gone too long.<br />
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<br />squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-58899790974785999702013-11-29T14:23:00.000-05:002013-11-30T12:11:17.889-05:00I'm not a TOTAL hater...honest.Ok....so maybe <a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2013/11/thanks-bruce-cockburn-i-needed-that.html" target="_blank">I hate a couple of Canadian songs from the '80s</a> but I'm not a complete CanadianMusicaphobe.<span style="font-size: x-small;"> It's a real word. If you don't believe me...look it up.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
Au contraire, mes amis!!<span style="font-size: x-small;"> See!! I'm even bilingual... I totally love Canada!!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
I enjoyed a whole whack of Canadian music when I was <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHU0pHnO0PE" target="_blank">young..... and restless</a>. <span style="font-size: x-small;"><---- see what I just did there?? Well, you would if you a true fan of Canadian music from the '80s, like me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
My tastes were a little diverse...<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
Along with almost every teenage Canadian girl in the '80s, I loved Corey Hart. I had a chance to go see him in concert but my dad wouldn't let me go because a teenage boy was doing the driving and he didn't trust teenage boy drivers...weird. Anyway, the boy I was supposed to go with took another girl...Thanks for nothin' Dad!! Goddamn, Corey Hart was so adorable.<br />
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See:<br />
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I loved the super awesomely cheesey Platinum Blonde....but that doesn't really matter. <span style="font-size: x-small;">You're welcome for the chance for an awesome air drum solo. </span>The lead singer looks just like my next door neighbour did...but she was/is a girl.<br />
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I loved Rush. My friend and I would sneak into her brother's room and listen to all his Rush albums and discuss the lyrics...we were so deep. Yeah right.<br />
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<br />
See...I loved TONS of Canadian song in the '80s. And there's waaaaay more...<br />
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<br />
hmmmmmm.....<br />
<br />
You know what I feel comin' on??<br />
<br />
I feel a comprehensive list comin' on...don't you??<br />
<br />
So here is:<br />
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<u><b>"A Kinda Comprehensive List of Canadian Songs from the '80s That I Loved"</b></u><br />
<b>by: squirrel_e_girl</b><br />
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<ul>
<li>One of my Favourites: "She Ain't Pretty" by Northern Pikes. I think it's hilarious. (this one is from 1990...but I'm sneaking it in anyway)</li>
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<li>Any song by The Grapes of Wrath, but probably this one the most... <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YW1w5bewMH8" target="_blank">Peace of Mind</a></li>
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<li>Any song by Blue Rodeo. I'm going with "Try". These guys are still one of my very very favourite bands. Jim Cuddy is so dreamy...sort of a Woody from Toy Story/ Wayne Gretzky combo...but sexier.</li>
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<li>Who doesn't love "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats?</li>
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<li>Then there's "Heaven" by Bryan Adams. Everyone loves this song and if they don't then they have issues...big ones. Actually, the very first time I ever felt "old"was immediately after this song played on the radio and the announcer said "And that was an oldie but a goodie by Bryan Adams. Ten years ago this week, "Heaven" was released"...and I felt like someone put a (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQRB5h0YKKI" target="_blank">cuts like a) knife</a> right <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ebtjgK8NNU" target="_blank">straight from the heart</a> of my youth...I was 23. "Heaven" was responsible for my awakening to the concept of the passage of time. This little explanatory blurb is grammatically indecent...but I'm leaving it as is.</li>
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<ul>
<li>I also loved anything by Spoons. They were the first band I ever saw in concert. My best friend and I took a bus all the way down to Barrie to see them. It's only 1/2 hour away...but we were 14 so it was kind of a big deal. The keyboardist was a total babe and only now, as a mature grown up lady, can I fully appreciate the hotness of the bass player. She is even more of a total babe. My favourite song is "Arias and Symphonies" but I could only find a non-'80s version so I'm not going to showcase old people singing the songs of my youth. Instead, take a peek at "Nova Heart"...it's pretty good, too. (if you really want to hear "Arias and Symphonies" click <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc7UHuXAXno" target="_blank">here</a> and scoot to 19:07)</li>
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<li>Ok...now this one is a wee bit cheesier than the rest but I still loved it. It's a song by Honeymoon Suite...who played in my high school's gym. These guys are the second band I saw live. The song is called "What Does it Take" and it reminds me of a boy I loved...<i>*sigh*. </i>BIG HAIR ALERT!!!</li>
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<li>And, now for something completely different...David Wilcox. He's awesome. His songs, along with ACDC, provided the soundtrack to most Orillia high school parties back in the day. I could probably sing several of his songs word for word acapella ...THAT is how ingrained Wilcox is into my memory. I saw him, too, at a high school concert..he was a hoot. He might've even been drunker than some of the teenaged concert goers...and that's sayin' something. Although, at that particular concert, I think the vast majority of kids were on acid...present company excluded. Seriously, if you were to poll any/all people who were in attendance at that show, most would have to check the "yes" box after the " Were you on acid at the Wilcox concert at OD?". <span style="font-size: x-small;"> Not me...I was just smashed...most likely on Southern Comfort and Cream Soda...yummy</span>. Anyhow, a couple of weeks ago, my Sweetie and I had the good fortune of seeing Wilcox play live and I was wondrously surprised when he stepped on stage and started to sing. Quite frankly, I was expecting to be embarrassed for him. The man is 64 and has lived a HARD life of booze and drugs and I figured he'd be horrible...but he was the opposite of horrible. His voice was clear and crisp and his guitar playing was as sharp as ever. Super crazy impressive. Kudos to you, Mr. Wilcox. Here's "Riverboat Fantasy"...sing along with me, if you please:</li>
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<ul>
<li>This is another good one. "I'm an Adult Now" but The Pursuit of Happiness.</li>
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<li>This song isn't one of my favourites, but this past summer, I did win two rounds of golf because I was able to name "The band and song name" on a radio contest called "The Blast from the Past". ..so I feel it deserves an honourable mention. It's "Innocence" and it's by a band called Harlequin. Thanks for the golf, dudes.</li>
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<i>**********************</i></div>
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Now...there are actually TONS more but I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead and I think I've firmly established the fact that I really DO love Canadian music of the '80s.</div>
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Now, Canadian literature....</div>
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That is <b>definitely</b> another story. </div>
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A dark, dreary, depressing story. </div>
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Don't even go there, sister.</div>
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Holy Shit!!! Canadian authors are a morbid lot.</div>
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Although I do love Timothy Findley.</div>
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But he's a dark DARK bastard, too.</div>
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And I would FOR SURE lose my Orillian citizenship if I lumped Stephen Leacock in with everyone else... </div>
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So, before I discover any burning bags of dog poop on my front porch...</div>
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I Heart Stephen Leacock.</div>
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And Gordon Lightfoot. (gotta cover all my bases)</div>
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YAY, ORILLIA!!!</div>
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<i>...phew</i></div>
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squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-79177828225106567982013-11-23T19:08:00.000-05:002013-11-24T09:30:32.372-05:00Thanks, Bruce Cockburn. I needed that.I never...<br />
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....in a million gajillion years<br />
<br />
thought I'd have anything nice to say about Bruce Cockburn's music.<br />
<br />
But, now I do.<br />
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You see, I was driving home from work today and this song came on the radio:<br />
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<br />
...and I started to COL (Chuckle Out Loud) to myself.<br />
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You see, waaaaaaaaaay back in the '80s, when this song first came out, I hated it.<br />
<br />
HATED.<br />
<br />
IT.<br />
<br />
Hated it.<br />
<br />
It made me irrationally angry.<br />
<br />
I'm talking, Teenager Irrationally Angry.<br />
<br />
And that's pretty f**king irrationally angry.<br />
<br />
The only thing that made me more irrationally angry than THAT song did, was THIS song :<br />
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Holy christ.<br />
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The songs are soooooooo loooooooooong and booooooooring and monotonous and stupid and repetitive and looooooooooong and boooooooooring and monotonous and stupid and repetitive.<br />
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They made me want to remove my eardrums with a pair of tweezers.<br />
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Now, I know that he's being all environmental activist-y and trying to raise awareness of a lot of shitty SHITTY things that go on in this crazy ol' world...and I do respect that.<br />
<br />
I really do.<br />
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AND<br />
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On top of that..<br />
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He's Canadian.<br />
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Crap.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Goddamn, I hope I don't get my Canadian Card suspended for this bare-faced blasphemy. Fingers crossed</span>.<br />
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Great job, Mr. Cockburn, fellow Canadian. I commend you on your efforts to save our beautiful planet.<br />
<br />
...but could you please "do good" with better, less annoying songs??<br />
<br />
Pretty please??<br />
<br />
With a wee bit of organic stevia on top??<br />
<br />
Back in the day, I seemed to have issues with certain Canadian songs of the '80s, because I also f**king HATED this one, by Luba:<br />
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ARRRRRRGH!!!<br />
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It's stupid and super long, too.<br />
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Then there was THIS ONE, by The Parachute Club, that I think I probably hated more than the other three combined:<br />
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Blech.<br />
<br />
Anyhow, I'm a little off course.<br />
<br />
Back to Bruce and why I'm grateful to him.<br />
<br />
So, "If a Tree Falls" was playing and I was chuckling, thinking back to my irrational teenage years and marveling at how violently perturbed that song made me (and if I'm completely honest, I still can't stand it) and how much those other songs bugged me, too, and I thought to my Self...<br />
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"Self, that sounds like some fun blog post fodder."<br />
<br />
You see, what <a href="http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/what-with-one-thing-and-another" target="_blank">with one thing and another</a>, I haven't felt particularly inspired and I've avoided my blog like it was someone knocking on my front door...<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">I've got another funny "someone knocking on my door" story ...maybe I'll write about that, too. We'll see.</span><br />
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And who woulda thunk that I could find inspiration in a stupid annoying long ass monotonous Bruce Cockburn song??<br />
<br />
But I did.<br />
<br />
And I'm writing about it.<br />
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Lucky you guys!!??<br />
<br />
YAY???<br />
<br />
The End.<br />
<br />
p.s. As a favour to you, I will also share the only other good thing about Bruce Cockburn, and that is this cover of "Lovers in a Dangerous Time" by The Barenaked Ladies:<br />
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You're welcome.<br />
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OH!! ok....FINE!!!!<br />
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I admit that, since becoming a grown up person, I have, on occasion, much to my teenage Self's chagrin, found myself inadvertently singing along to both the Luba song AND the Parachute Club song.<br />
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Whatever.<br />
<br />
You caught me.<br />
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I still hate the Bruce Cockburn songs.<br />
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So there!!<br />
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<b><u>UPDATE</u></b><br />
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It has been brought to my attention that I actually DO like an actual Bruce Cockburn song that is actually sung by Bruce Cockburn.<br />
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Damn.<br />
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But I am a big enough squirrel_e_girl to admit it.<br />
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It's a really good song. It's sweet and happy and up-tempo.<br />
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It is written and performed by Bruce Cockburn.<br />
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And, I like it.<br />
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Here it is:<br />
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...I still hate the other Bruce Cockburn songs.<br />
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So there!!<br />
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<br />squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-57830549287613551232013-11-23T17:52:00.000-05:002013-11-23T17:57:06.981-05:00If I was a betting squirrel....<br>
There are 4 ice cream sandwiches in the freezer.<br>
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I am home alone for the next 20ish hours.<br>
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What are the chances of there being any ice cream sandwiches left in the freezer by this time tomorrow??<br>
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Actually...<br>
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Scratch that.<br>
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There are 3 ice cream sandwiches in the freezer.<br>
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I am home alone for the next 20ish hours.<br>
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What are the chances of there being any ice cream sandwiches left in the freezer by this time tomorrow??<br>
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<br><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih0d_sjrQgYZiNhV1bX6n_OAPC7ijJhCwZAP3wh32xhw1dVHUka79Jn-8rH9aRkpH0MIT6nZf2CwGrmt-8qUUXWhuaBaplcqWulzxrHATyKNETiYAQbop8Zwfc_RHqTAK63oXjKBBkGCs/s640/blogger-image--1136700418.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih0d_sjrQgYZiNhV1bX6n_OAPC7ijJhCwZAP3wh32xhw1dVHUka79Jn-8rH9aRkpH0MIT6nZf2CwGrmt-8qUUXWhuaBaplcqWulzxrHATyKNETiYAQbop8Zwfc_RHqTAK63oXjKBBkGCs/s640/blogger-image--1136700418.jpg"></a></div>squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-60665061159213831902013-09-14T22:19:00.003-04:002013-09-14T22:26:53.501-04:00My Sober Concert<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Way back on August 30th, a wonderful event took place.</div>
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Zac Brown Band played in Toronto and The Girl, My Guy and I attended the show.</div>
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Now.... </div>
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...last year, ZBB played in Toronto and My Guy and I attended the show...and I imbibed rather heavily...mostly RockStar [+Vodka]s and a few Bacardi Breezers...as is evidenced in this blog post aptly titled... <a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2012/09/my-drunk-concert.html" target="_blank">My Drunk Concert</a> . I had a whoooooooollllle big bunch o' fun BUT I feel that while I may have gotten the most out of the spirit and the vibe of the show, I kinda missed a lot of the finer points...like the encore...and the coyote. The day after that show I swore to you, my Beloved Readers, that, if ZBB ever came back to Toronto and I was lucky enough to attend, I would attend SOBER and I would beat down my basic inner nature and stay for the encore.</div>
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Here's my video vow:</div>
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So, August 30th arrived and the three of us piled into the car and made the journey to the Big Smoke and things were going swimmingly until THIS...</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/NXA-Q6pCwIQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />
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Damn.</div>
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When all hope of getting to the concert before ZBB came on had all but faded (we had already for definite sure missed the opening act <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VivRetb7rZ0" target="_blank">The Sadies</a> ...a very cool Canadian Indie band...oops) but then My Most Excellent Guy had a brilliant idea...he suggested that The Girl and I hop out of the car and walk to the Molson Amphitheatre...we'd get there faster à pied than we would en voiture. </div>
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He is a fine selfless soul.</div>
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Neither The Girl or I are particularly selfless so it didn't take much persuading for us to leap out into traffic (slow-moving as it was) and sprint for the venue.</div>
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We got there and then had to wait in line FOREVER for the "facilities" and I came terrifyingly close to peeing my pants and then we made our way through the drunken masses...barbaric boors... ;) ...and got to our seats and did a little happy dance because.....</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH85FscKrJL909Y3odHITtNWg3YtWadnFYS6NHPoKoxloP4bCXIiwn8vk5mKy6fWP1RSZk2Yeoog7c1hVn0om7zP25Fv3-ZkEkGOV-sxmH4c28P5wpTafQxixG0SUrbjz1WMeKxJihA60/s640/blogger-image-167566888.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH85FscKrJL909Y3odHITtNWg3YtWadnFYS6NHPoKoxloP4bCXIiwn8vk5mKy6fWP1RSZk2Yeoog7c1hVn0om7zP25Fv3-ZkEkGOV-sxmH4c28P5wpTafQxixG0SUrbjz1WMeKxJihA60/s640/blogger-image-167566888.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look how close we are to the stage!!!</td></tr>
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YAY!!!!!! </div>
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And then we did what girls at concerts are supposed to do and took a myriad of selfies. Apparently, according to my daughter, I am crap at taking selfies so I had a crash course in Selfie Photography and these are the results...</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_BH2kPK3RG5RZy74hPzyMKzDmHpUgrWZlL8Lww5JCkgq8dO04rvTzJGZ6dVuXI-f-0CmdRxsl1g22r-Mha5XggsmLPJb3un4wcSwTpO_RJcPyIEqoBUBoHEmMHRDliKN9AA34xgEnd44/s640/blogger-image--646847592.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_BH2kPK3RG5RZy74hPzyMKzDmHpUgrWZlL8Lww5JCkgq8dO04rvTzJGZ6dVuXI-f-0CmdRxsl1g22r-Mha5XggsmLPJb3un4wcSwTpO_RJcPyIEqoBUBoHEmMHRDliKN9AA34xgEnd44/s640/blogger-image--646847592.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Obligatory Concert Mother/Daughter Selfie</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8ZuoX-eKko8gnuhhxi1u0PbYja_0OLsFfK0EwlHjRc8OQ3Pqj-wmW8v-jFiJWmKyO4UE_IxsDFIyn0smIS0X9lwDVUR_BdZraygcg0tp-bmAtR10HyqXgrnzEkzrygmxCfSUMJGMSYvQ/s640/blogger-image-1063111112.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8ZuoX-eKko8gnuhhxi1u0PbYja_0OLsFfK0EwlHjRc8OQ3Pqj-wmW8v-jFiJWmKyO4UE_IxsDFIyn0smIS0X9lwDVUR_BdZraygcg0tp-bmAtR10HyqXgrnzEkzrygmxCfSUMJGMSYvQ/s640/blogger-image-1063111112.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'Nother One</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9_KO23hbjLvF5JgpNCyd2Pmc-Ux3yKl0Wn2oz-QS0jXP7hpV0wGh9qmc3EuOUJbWXiq4XI_QTXYAMhMhrE4dPrqlzD9iQEQvuidFPUAbgAjk-PGlg22PK3ubyYdH0xdKYGuW_MIHn8g0/s640/blogger-image-1736932970.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9_KO23hbjLvF5JgpNCyd2Pmc-Ux3yKl0Wn2oz-QS0jXP7hpV0wGh9qmc3EuOUJbWXiq4XI_QTXYAMhMhrE4dPrqlzD9iQEQvuidFPUAbgAjk-PGlg22PK3ubyYdH0xdKYGuW_MIHn8g0/s640/blogger-image-1736932970.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'Nother One</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The mic is in place...the tension mounts...</td></tr>
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And here is when My Guy, out of the blue, pops in beside us...telling us a wonderful story of how he got fed up and frustrated with the fact that the traffic was not moving AT ALL and he noticed that there were parking spots available in the parking lot right off the highway... and a Parking Lady had just told him that he'd have to travel (at breakneck speed...a snail's breakneck speed) another 3 whole blocks...<br />
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"Well"...said My Guy to himself...</div>
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"F**K THAT!"</div>
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...and cranked the wheel to the right and drove up and over the curb and the boulevard into the supposedly full parking lot that was right in front of the front gates...and found a sweet spot right at the front of the parking lot right in front of the front gates.</div>
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Oh yeah!!!</div>
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Take THAT stupid Toronto traffic jam.</div>
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So, after patting himself heartily on the back to congratulate himself for accomplishing a feat of ballsy and timely 4X4 wheelin' parking ingenuity, he sprinted and got to us just in time for THIS....</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb_MQi55N6yPA2P-Fb5DDoM_vUSp9jBtLEqiVPuXBmJTovwcTlQL94zZWKalhspD8BejF8AsaCoYu7BPDBYMdq-4ktBC7z3J89nM_ZkRXwEZX852Irk0L8EEVxf_N1kBGQps_OcDyz3Tw/s640/blogger-image--1449827380.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb_MQi55N6yPA2P-Fb5DDoM_vUSp9jBtLEqiVPuXBmJTovwcTlQL94zZWKalhspD8BejF8AsaCoYu7BPDBYMdq-4ktBC7z3J89nM_ZkRXwEZX852Irk0L8EEVxf_N1kBGQps_OcDyz3Tw/s640/blogger-image--1449827380.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Zac is in place!!! YAY!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvBTlfF-DEAGVArFB-gGfB2tV0RGrtCIY9WtT0PxB_O2GdOtN-H_y8_e2e8yxJfd6K83gatHK32DwtJk1_79ur0NfbqJ6XEpCpDRUv76mjOO7GXu8Sydf9IdtJAXknOjs0qQShRUmOGBE/s640/blogger-image--1300164353.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvBTlfF-DEAGVArFB-gGfB2tV0RGrtCIY9WtT0PxB_O2GdOtN-H_y8_e2e8yxJfd6K83gatHK32DwtJk1_79ur0NfbqJ6XEpCpDRUv76mjOO7GXu8Sydf9IdtJAXknOjs0qQShRUmOGBE/s640/blogger-image--1300164353.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Band</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHdvF0UY4JhyphenhyphenSgTfkrBrcce9pCapHsd3UcxhqTKn-mS1-S1szx70f-br5MNxVh-OMcLSK0aiTkVsPtubpfkGR52Zx5MSmL5U5-5ZBEM0H54Jt7pw1oclwjflhHm0CBJ-ZiPc0yBW48Do4/s640/blogger-image--333020031.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHdvF0UY4JhyphenhyphenSgTfkrBrcce9pCapHsd3UcxhqTKn-mS1-S1szx70f-br5MNxVh-OMcLSK0aiTkVsPtubpfkGR52Zx5MSmL5U5-5ZBEM0H54Jt7pw1oclwjflhHm0CBJ-ZiPc0yBW48Do4/s640/blogger-image--333020031.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The guys slow it down a bit...and yes that is a taxidermied(sp) coyote...awesome.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Girl "enjoying" the show ;)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I got photobombed...Brilliant!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zjDdZLDWZcc27gR-8iLn101hnnMwJbxm0HryQ92OKQbnSym4eFH4Yx2n3DJpOk6LEMS3pNOS_cZIDzV1Dz-QBl0LwIm_609US54iP9JQi0ArqKJuSDcJH46oE_LwCHvvOcER3CMbt6w/s640/blogger-image-1524291841.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zjDdZLDWZcc27gR-8iLn101hnnMwJbxm0HryQ92OKQbnSym4eFH4Yx2n3DJpOk6LEMS3pNOS_cZIDzV1Dz-QBl0LwIm_609US54iP9JQi0ArqKJuSDcJH46oE_LwCHvvOcER3CMbt6w/s640/blogger-image-1524291841.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look Ma!! No Booze!! Vow #1 fulfilled.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is me last year...lots o' booze. Pre-Vow #1</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWvHmq4_d9S33lgCiM8JqAPzg2aAniIIBYHp29wEWxBsaHeW1XJr5D0vBVH4_vU7lqQ_q0BKh0xJA1m19a-_eMj22Y-0Z-yRyUmlCzMuIaSmhP5_F4dXwLEYZzDRYu_i1U9gUdzEheNII/s640/blogger-image--1267065043.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWvHmq4_d9S33lgCiM8JqAPzg2aAniIIBYHp29wEWxBsaHeW1XJr5D0vBVH4_vU7lqQ_q0BKh0xJA1m19a-_eMj22Y-0Z-yRyUmlCzMuIaSmhP5_F4dXwLEYZzDRYu_i1U9gUdzEheNII/s640/blogger-image--1267065043.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and My Guy</td></tr>
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And...</div>
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Guess what!!??</div>
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I stayed for the encore.</div>
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Yes, I did....and I'm soooo happy that I did because otherwise, I would've missed the whole band reappearing on stage in glow-in-the-dark skeleton suits...HA!! I haven't seen that old trick since The Boy's 5th Birthday/Halloween party... Jack didn't play the fiddle though.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmu72M8jOtggfBGG3lSHvdXJyRk1trJDzm_psxpJ8CXPnvOP-aKHtU6aLaqG3UBIs77136vLQBuFaOLlQ5pKt046j0zqu1LbcoDoh4SAPV8YBCXTbbuQnTWCNy4eYC7gCHxTtjB3Xpsv4/s640/blogger-image-1199824181.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmu72M8jOtggfBGG3lSHvdXJyRk1trJDzm_psxpJ8CXPnvOP-aKHtU6aLaqG3UBIs77136vLQBuFaOLlQ5pKt046j0zqu1LbcoDoh4SAPV8YBCXTbbuQnTWCNy4eYC7gCHxTtjB3Xpsv4/s640/blogger-image-1199824181.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Proof that I stayed for the Encore...Vow #2 fulfilled.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWG5VZCKWOMm0-ezvEksFBpjfDuqxBuOxJwArUC3lycvNDaSUQGTezMEp9uF55cjP-tkXTCSI0_-ad82cXFLNeoYeNCQzG9Mz8jDKhyQxYf9apAkX3xA19a7qTDbl0yx_keDQhVx_qyKk/s640/blogger-image-1524091578.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWG5VZCKWOMm0-ezvEksFBpjfDuqxBuOxJwArUC3lycvNDaSUQGTezMEp9uF55cjP-tkXTCSI0_-ad82cXFLNeoYeNCQzG9Mz8jDKhyQxYf9apAkX3xA19a7qTDbl0yx_keDQhVx_qyKk/s640/blogger-image-1524091578.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Glow-in-the-dark Skeleton suits...yep.</td></tr>
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The concert was INCREDIBLE!!</div>
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Goddamn they put on a good show. They did all their big hits and a bunch of their hilarious songs and we heard a few anecdotes and they did some kickass covers ...they did some Zeppelin, Metallica's Enter Sandman, Bob Marley's One Love, Eagles' Seven Bridges Road and Bryan Ferry's Avalon...and of course, a crazy high-energy rendition of The Devil Went Down to Georgia.</div>
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Yep... </div>
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....good stuff.</div>
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Great concert.</div>
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Oh...and then the great concert was made even greater when it turned out that the parking lot that My Guy had so tricksily.... and illegally ... parked in was "Pay on Entry" and since he had entered by unconventional means...we didn't have to pay for parking...in Toronto...at the Molson Amphitheatre....</div>
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Oh yeah!!</div>
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Anyhow...great concert. Hugely enjoyable to be there but not necessarily all that much fun to recount because there are no ParkingLot RockStar Shenanigans to report.</div>
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...hmmmmm</div>
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...just a minute.</div>
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I've had a brilliant brain wave. </div>
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There is always...</div>
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NEXT YEAR!!!</div>
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Next year...I'll have many boozy drinks...and I won't stay for the encore.</div>
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One year on...one year off...one year on again!!!</div>
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Balance.</div>
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Yin. Yang.</div>
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Sounds like a plan.</div>
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Next year there will be scores of hilarious hijinks to relay and that post will be waaaaay more fun to write and to read.</div>
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I'm a genius.</div>
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It's a date!! </div>
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p.s. I am not entirely sure why the whole post (except for one paragraph) is "centred".</div>
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...I can't fix it. </div>
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I tried.</div>
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But...</div>
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I can't.</div>
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Weird.</div>
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squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-85138642950389406222013-09-13T14:12:00.002-04:002013-09-13T16:14:24.139-04:00The Greatest Thing...So...the greatest thing just happened to me.<br />
<br />
I finished my yummy lunch ...left-over souvlaki, tzatziki sauce and apple slices...and I was shuffling around the kitchen like a slug, grumbling to myself about the fact that there was nothing crappy to eat and I really felt like eating something crappy because it is a cold blah September day and cold blah September days remind me that summer is over and that November is coming and that makes me feel blah and grumpy and sluggish and leaves me wanting to eat crappy food.<br />
<br />
As I grumbled and shuffled away, I checked and re-checked the cupboards and fridge in my quest for crappy food.<br />
<br />
No dice.<br />
<br />
Crap.<br />
<br />
I didn't feel like veggies or fruits or wheat-free granola.<br />
<br />
grumblegrumblegrumble<br />
<br />
In a last ditch effort, I opened up the freezer and guess what I found???!!!<br />
<br />
A MOSTLY FULL TUB OF OREO ICE CREAM!!!!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>WAHOooOOOoOOOOoOOOOooOOOo!!!</b></span><br />
<br />
I asked my Self... "Self, how the hell did THAT get in there??"<br />
<br />
And then I remembered that The Girl bought some Oreo ice cream to go along with the deliciously thoughtful greatest birthday cake EVER that she made for me way back on August 13th (Thanks, Katy!! Love you!! xoxoxo)<br />
<br />
So, the hugely unexpected appearance of Oreo ice cream in my freezer is awesome on a couple of different levels...<br />
<br />
Level #1... there was Oreo ice cream in my freezer.<br />
<br />
....and that's AWESOME!!!<br />
<br />
AND...<br />
<br />
Level B) ...there was Oreo ice cream in my freezer....<br />
<br />
....ONE MONTH <b>AFTER</b> it was originally and most thoughtfully purchased by my beautiful daughter...which means that there has been Oreo ice cream in my freezer for ONE WHOLE MONTH and I haven't eaten it ...which means that I am actually mostly adhering to my new "Eating Well" regime.<br />
<br />
...and that's AWESOME!!<br />
<br />
Now some of you might be quick to point out that "Of course, the Oreo ice cream is still there, dumbass!! You FORGOT that it was even there...how can you eat something that you forget is there??"<br />
<br />
To which I will counter ...<br />
<br />
Yeee-ssssss...<br />
<br />
BUT!!!<br />
<br />
... the very fact that I actually FORGOT that there was Oreo ice cream in my freezer is evidence that my dietary habits have changed.<br />
<br />
The old me would never EVER, in a million years, have forgotten that there was Oreo ice cream in my freezer. Its very existence in my home would've been Top Priority in my "Things I Should Remember" file and I would've had a bowl (or two) a day until it was all gone.<br />
<br />
And I didn't.<br />
<br />
And a month later, the mostly full tub of Oreo ice cream is still in my freezer.<br />
<br />
BAM!!!<br />
<br />
Greatest thing!!<br />
<br />
....<br />
<br />
....<br />
<br />
....<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, it is still a cold blah September day and now that I have finished a wee small bowl of delicious Oreo ice cream, I am going to curl up on the couch with my 2 doggies (one who smells of skunk...gross) wrapped in my Winnie the Pooh blanket and have a nice nap.<br />
<br />
n'night!!<br />
<br />
<br />squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-30756398968677306192013-08-29T18:53:00.000-04:002013-08-30T13:27:20.064-04:00I Bet This Has Never Happened to You...So, this afternoon, The Girl and I had matching chiropractor appointments...<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Mother/Daughter spinal adjustments are the next big thing...Just you wait and see. Mother/Daughter Spa days are très passé.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Trust me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Anyway...</span><br />
<br />
Today, as well as an adjustment, I was in the market for some orthotics.<br />
<br />
You see, earlier this year, I went to see my family doctor because my feet were falling asleep...whilst I walk around.<br />
<br />
It's rather distracting<br />
<br />
My lovely angel of a physician(who just happens to be a devout Christian...but I love him anyway) took one look at the bottom of my foot and said..<br />
<br />
"You're screwed."<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">...which totally cracked me up.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">...because he is Dutch and a very VERY active member of the Christian Reformed Church ...and he had just told me I was screwed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Hilarious.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Trust me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Anyway...</span><br />
<br />
In spite of the hilarity of the initial diagnosis, it turns out that my arches are non-existent. It's not the normal arch that's bad (of course it's not). There is an arch that I never knew existed that resides in the middle of the ball of one's foot. Apparently, it never existed in the balls of <b>my</b> feet and as such, this lack of arch puts pressure on some nerves and my toes quite often go all pins and needly-like when I'm wandering about.<br />
<br />
AND...just to add insult to injury, because of my arch-less-ness, I am also developing some nice callouses on the soles of my feet...which is quite different than developing diamonds on the soles of my shoes.<br />
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<br />
ANYWAY...<br />
<br />
Due to my malformed feet, I am in the market for some orthotics and my chiropractor provides such things and I figure with flip-flop season drawing to an end...<span style="font-size: x-small;">f**k</span>...I'm gonna have to start wearing real shoes again and my toes are going to start falling asleep again so I should probably start looking into rectifying this situation BEFORE this shit goes down.<br />
<br />
I'm renowned for my pro-active-ness...<br />
<br />
BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA<br />
<br />
No I'm not.<br />
<br />
So, we get to the Chiro's office and, in compliance with the nice sign at the door, we remove our shoes...or rather...our flippy flops, and, with a growing sense of horror, it dawns on me that my former flippy flop wearing extremities don't smell so good ...the whole "bare feet/rubber shoe" combo generally does NOT work in my olfactory favour.<br />
<br />
Crap.<br />
<br />
What to do? What to do?<br />
<br />
I spot the handy dandy hand sanitizer on the receptionist's counter and think to my Self...<br />
<br />
"AH HA!! Problem solved!! I will over-power the flip flop smell with the smell of mediciney alcohol. Self, you are a genius."<br />
<br />
Only, the flip flop/hand sanitizer smell combo is actually way way waaaaaaaay worse than the plain old flip flop/bare feet combo.<br />
<br />
Crap.<br />
<br />
What to do? What to do?<br />
<br />
Another magnificent brain wave rolled over me and I realized that there was probably some sort of bathroom facility in the office and, typically, bathrooms have sinks with running water... and soap.<br />
<br />
AH HA!!!<br />
<br />
So, I legged it to the loo and, lo and behold, there WAS a sink with running water and soap...and paper towels.<br />
<br />
Excellent.<br />
<br />
So, picture this, if you will...<br />
<br />
Me.... standing in the small little bathroom with one foot hoisted up into the sink, washing it thoroughly with vanilla scented Soft Soap.... following it up with a quick and thorough rinse. Hoisting said foot up and out of the sink and giving it a quick and thorough dry with the paper towels so graciously provided.<br />
<br />
I imagine I cut quite a fine figure.<br />
<br />
On to the next foot...<br />
<br />
Hoist foot UP and into the sink...where the water is already running and ready to go...and...<br />
<br />
OH MY CHRIST!!! WHEN DID THE NICE WARM WATER TURN INTO MOLTEN LAVA!! I THINK MY FOOT FLESH IS GOING TO BLISTER AND BUBBLE OFF MY FOOT BONES!!<br />
<br />
I fumble and bumble my way around the taps, trying to get the temperature to something a little less than thermonuclear...which was way more difficult and took way more time than I am willing to willingly admit...<br />
<br />
It probably would've been more sensible to perhaps actually <b>remove</b> my foot from the sink full of water drawn from the fiery pits of hell...but my crisis-handling skills aren't fabulous and, really, I was worried about getting water all over the nice bathroom...would hate to make a mess.<br />
<br />
So...<br />
<br />
Um...<br />
<br />
Yeah.<br />
<br />
I scalded my right foot in the bathroom sink at my chiropractor's office today.<br />
<br />
What did you do??<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
<br />
p.s. My foot is still red and ouchie from its time spent in Satan's bathtub...and this happened at 2:30 this afternoon.<br />
<br />
It is now 6:37pm.<br />
<br />
Kids...don't try that at home.<br />
<br />
p.p.s. It may still hurt like a sonofabitch but it sure does smell purdy.<br />
<br />
<br />squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-67094012947781993612013-08-10T17:05:00.000-04:002013-08-30T13:28:14.490-04:00More Confessions from the Squirrel Cageok....<br />
<br />
I'm going to share what just happened here, in my squirrel_e_world, during the last 20 minutes or so.<br />
<br />
<i>Quick Clarification: the last 20 minutes or so <b>prior</b> to my sitting down to write this pointless blog post...the writing of which will take a good hour and a half ... or so...Hey...you can't rush magic. Fact.</i><br />
<br />
I'm not proud of this story.<br />
<br />
It's rather ridiculous.<br />
<br />
It makes me look like a complete dumbass but I think this sordid tale might make a few of you chuckle.<br />
<br />
...at me.<br />
<br />
...and that's ok.<br />
<br />
It's not a bad thing to bring a little bit of laughter into this big ol crazy Universe...even if it IS at the expense of my dignity.<br />
<br />
I'm good like that.<br />
<br />
OK...<br />
<br />
So, as some of you may or may not know, I have a little problem with stupid silly games I play on my iPad. I am a wee bit hooked and it verges on being an addiction...and when I say it "verges on", I mean that it is totally an absolutely mindless addiction.<br />
<br />
My current game of choice is the super stupid and super silly game called "Candy Crush Saga"<br />
<br />
...even the name is stupid.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.postmobilereview.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/cady-crush-saga.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="http://www.postmobilereview.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/cady-crush-saga.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I've been stuck on this one level for the past week-ish. It's nigh on impossible to complete and I'm getting a wee tiny bit frustrated. That's why, today, when I got to the point where I had this level by the balls, and was soooooooo close to winning I could taste it (the winning not the balls), I was giddy with joy and relief...<br />
<br />
All I had to do was shift one sprinkle-covered super crazy exploding candy down beside another sprinkle-covered super crazy exploding candy and I'd be VICTORIOUS!!!<br />
<br />
VICTORIOUS, I SAY!!<br />
<br />
Looking at the board, I had mentally mapped out the moves I was going to have to make in order to ensure my victory...but then...horror of horrors...I noticed that all I had left was ONE SINGLE MEASELY MOVE and there was no way in hell that I was going to do what I had to do in ONE SINGLE MEASELY MOVE.<br />
<br />
SONOFABITCH!!!<br />
<br />
I was so shattered that I began to think the unthinkable.<br />
<br />
I began to contemplate breaking a solemn oath I had sworn to my Self.<br />
<br />
A mighty oath that promised I would never ever, in a million years, spend any(more) money on this wretched game..<br />
<br />
... yet, there I was, actually considering the purchase, for $1.03, of 10 gold bars so I could visit The Yeti Shop and buy the 5 more moves necessary to guarantee sweet glorious victory.<br />
<br />
In the name of full disclosure, I have on one other occasion, forsaken my pride... and common sense ... and purchased extra moves but that particular $1.03 came from my cache of banked iTune dollars that were all gifts, so that transgression didn't really count...it was like a teeny tiny belated Christmas gift to my Self.<br />
<br />
However, today I was playing through Facebook on the desktop and not, as I had been for my previous fall from grace, through the app on my iPad ... SO... there was no way I could figure out how to gain access to my iTunes Christmas present money.<br />
<br />
If I was going to do this dastardly deed, I'd have to pay real money.<br />
<br />
Damn.<br />
<br />
I wrestled with the moral implications of using real money in this stupid game and after a couple of minutes of deliberation with my Self, I decided I was going to do it.<br />
<br />
I committed to buying 5 extra moves.<br />
<br />
BAM.<br />
<br />
...<br />
<br />
Damn.<br />
<br />
I clicked all the way through the steps and got to where I had to decide what real money payment method I was going to use and I decided that I'd throw it on my debit card instead of my Visa...no use going into debt buying gold bars in the Yeti Shop.<br />
<br />
I typed in all the numbers required and took a deep cleansing breath and hit "Enter"...<br />
<br />
Where I expected my guilt-ridden gold bars to magically appear on the screen, I was met instead by a message in BIG RED LETTERS that said<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">DECLINED- This account is not authorized to buy Gold Bars in The Yeti Shop, You Dumbass.</span><br />
<br />
It actually didn't say that but it did decline the payment because my account was not authorized to do online transactions... the very same authorization I revoked earlier this week when I got a new debit card because my other one had been breached...through online purchases not purchased by my Self (but THAT's a whole other somewhat baffling tale).<br />
<br />
DOH!!!<br />
<br />
Foiled by my own security measures.<br />
<br />
I must've had some subconscious trip into the future and knew that I was going to suffer a Candy Crush break in sanity and want to buy Gold Bars and therefore said "Nah...better not" when the nice lady at the bank asked me if I wanted to authorize the card for online transactions.<br />
<br />
Onto Plan B...<br />
<br />
I decided I had sunk this low so I might as well go the distance and put it on my Visa....but my wallet was out in my car....damn...perhaps my card was in a pant pocket on my bedroom floor. So, in an effort to save myself a trip out to the car to grab my wallet, I rifled my way through my dirty laundry and discovered, as I had figured I would, that the Visa was NOT in a pant pocket.<br />
<br />
So, I sighed and trudged the whole 30ish feet out to the car to grab my wallet.<br />
<br />
No card.<br />
<br />
And that's when I remembered that I had given my Visa to the kids for their flight to Hawaii, in case they wanted to buy a snack or a beer or something on the plane, and The Girl had yet to give it back.<br />
<br />
<i>Note to Self - When The Girl gets home from work, demand the prompt return of my credit card.</i><br />
<br />
And, while I do have the actual Visa number, I don't have any of the important Gold Bar Buying enabling info like an expiry date or security number.(that card is new, too)<br />
<br />
Damn.<br />
<br />
I banged my head on the counter and looked at the screen and saw that another option was PayPal.<br />
<br />
hmmmmmm....<br />
<br />
I don't have a PayPal account, but they have a link to where you set up an account if you want to....of course they do.<br />
<br />
So, in desperation, I clicked on the link so I could set up a PayPal account and buy some f**king gold bars and what does it ask you for right after the whole name and address part???<br />
<br />
Your credit card info.<br />
<br />
The credit card info that I had quite recently discovered I didn't have.<br />
<br />
Good Christ.<br />
<br />
I reluctantly and embarrassedly gave up my search for gold and decided to take that last futile move and finish the f**king game.<br />
<br />
Then I noticed that I had a "booster" that had been given as a reward simply for being a Candy Crush Saga user<span style="font-size: x-small;">...probably to get you hooked on the power of the "booster" so you buy the booster packs so you can take the easy way out of levels...and make the game-making people a shit ton of desperation money.</span><br />
<br />
This free booster would smash a single candy.<br />
<br />
Any single candy.<br />
<br />
This free booster was EXACTLY what I needed.<br />
<br />
I needed ONE single candy SMASHED...and then my one sprinkle-covered super crazy exploding candy would gently fall into place beside my other sprinkle-covered super crazy exploding candy and then I could use my one remaining move and make a sprinkle-covered super crazy exploding candy combo and the level would be COMPLETE!!<br />
<br />
SWEET VICTORY WOULD BE MINE!!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRm2TjkuE9Baiu3xsTdSzZANnt9TY-pfqyrstcNjXThu_Ee2LN8" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRm2TjkuE9Baiu3xsTdSzZANnt9TY-pfqyrstcNjXThu_Ee2LN8" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Thank you, Lollipop Hammer.<br />
<br />
I laughed at all the shenanigans and foolishness that had transpired over the past several minutes and tsk-tsk'd my Self for stooping so low as to even attempt to buy 5 extra stupid moves in that stupid silly game and then clicked on the "booster" and moused it down onto the game board and unleashed its candy smashing booster power and...<br />
<br />
....hit the wrong f**king candy.<br />
<br />
I smashed one of the sprinkle-covered super crazy exploding candies....<br />
<br />
...not the candy below it.<br />
<br />
And everything...<br />
<br />
...including my already battered dignity...<br />
<br />
....exploded in flash of sprinkle-covered super craziness.<br />
<br />
Game Over.<br />
<br />
Level Failed.<br />
<br />
I am a dumbass.<br />
<br />
At least I can laugh at my dumbass-ness.<br />
<br />
And now you can, too.<br />
<br />
The End.<br />
<br />
Level Failed.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.insidemobileapps.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/candy-crush-saga-app-icon.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.insidemobileapps.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/candy-crush-saga-app-icon.jpeg" /></a></div>
<br />
P.S.<br />
<br />
HEY!!! Look what I found!!! A video explaining exactly WHY Candy Crush Saga is PURE EVIL!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/2GXYcaUjCSE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Well played, young man. Well played.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>UPDATE....</b></span>August 12th 2013<br />
<br />
NAILED IT!!!<br />
<br />
No Poorly Aimed Boosters OR Stupid Extra Move Purchases required!!<br />
<br />
I am a bit of a purist.squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-51841932292423637392013-08-01T14:10:00.001-04:002013-08-01T20:44:46.431-04:00If there's such a thing as being too good at growing tomatoes......then that's what I am.<br />
<br />
Seriously.<br />
<br />
My tomato plants are extraordinarily HUGE.<br />
<br />
Too huge for their own good.<br />
<br />
Too huge for my own good.<br />
<br />
And prolific....holy crap!!<br />
<br />
Last year my tomatoes were too big for their cages and they fell all over themselves and the res of my garden.<br />
<br />
See:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLt-e2M1g0MZrK2VPRGdPK8Ybhh8ZxXo8uv90mBM0VjJTWbV3KgJgIBPsF_I3VrWLJX1E9HFL_1DhsUlwt-6jJ-WqQh2z5mgpA0h_9Ef6yaoK7esjw1F_3gNjIcCrYqUzUADD-rYQvNsg/s320/IMG_3601.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLt-e2M1g0MZrK2VPRGdPK8Ybhh8ZxXo8uv90mBM0VjJTWbV3KgJgIBPsF_I3VrWLJX1E9HFL_1DhsUlwt-6jJ-WqQh2z5mgpA0h_9Ef6yaoK7esjw1F_3gNjIcCrYqUzUADD-rYQvNsg/s320/IMG_3601.JPG" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
This year, in an effort to avoid a repeat of last year's "success", instead of buying regular tomato plants, I bought grape tomato plants.<br />
<br />
Grape tomatoes are the size of ...well, they are the size of grapes....and the way I figured it, wee small tomatoes would logically have smaller, more manageable plants than the regular big tomatoes did.<br />
<br />
I was incorrect.<br />
<br />
These are my two grape tomato plants (there are no ripe grape tomatoes..I ate 'em. They were delicious):<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1xh7H-mWK6GHHZZvr2vfYs5o9iT_aVQSdT6E5ptLnBB0tfY7hVJ-XiKWf7lZ90RkzrOlsGWmEUnZdIk_26omqL0ScY4ARMALCkRQZh7TQuNx8hQfK7ryKucI38k0y9DRkuZ79SdbQLJM/s640/blogger-image-1354623882.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1xh7H-mWK6GHHZZvr2vfYs5o9iT_aVQSdT6E5ptLnBB0tfY7hVJ-XiKWf7lZ90RkzrOlsGWmEUnZdIk_26omqL0ScY4ARMALCkRQZh7TQuNx8hQfK7ryKucI38k0y9DRkuZ79SdbQLJM/s640/blogger-image-1354623882.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
I just went out to take pictures of my enormous tomato plants but photos alone could not do their enormity any justice...so I videoed it.<br />
<br />
Real live veggie garden action.<br />
<br />
You don't get that anywhere else but here, folks.<br />
<br />
Here's my garden:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/iWF3DKN68fA?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
Oh, and in case you're wondering what my interloping gourds look like, this is one:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCNR0dy4A45CTFEJVnXimO9wADFuZKfCIhXrT92M9Mmo4uBhVWwT5_yx3i9e0Y0WCxkaIx165rSsdCYJiSZnk-mxyZqmJFIpu5nOxgGqySvTpQfrE6isURMh0JjjkNb4a0IsLX3qXwoX8/s640/blogger-image--950360801.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCNR0dy4A45CTFEJVnXimO9wADFuZKfCIhXrT92M9Mmo4uBhVWwT5_yx3i9e0Y0WCxkaIx165rSsdCYJiSZnk-mxyZqmJFIpu5nOxgGqySvTpQfrE6isURMh0JjjkNb4a0IsLX3qXwoX8/s640/blogger-image--950360801.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
In keeping with the theme of insane gardens... here is a song:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Madness by: Muse</div>
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ek0SgwWmF9w?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br />
p.s. This is how you pronounce "gourd"....<a href="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/gourd">http://www.thefreedictionary.com/gourd</a>squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-79921819973837934082013-07-29T16:25:00.000-04:002013-07-29T16:41:06.531-04:00Oh By Gosh, By Golly!!shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh<br />
<br />
Did you hear that??<br />
<br />
That's the sound of me ... SMILING!!<br />
<br />
And NOT swearing!!!<br />
<br />
I just got back from my dentist appointment...you know, the one I've been dreading for the last 9 months (read this Post <a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2012_10_01_archive.html" target="_blank">"And The Tooth Fairy Can Kiss My Ass, Too!!"</a> if you'd like to know what the heck I'm talking about)...<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>AND....</b><br />
<br />
...it didn't even hurt one little bit.<br />
<br />
I'm not even making this up.<br />
<br />
It was beautiful!!!<br />
<br />
It was like the good old days...back before I turned 40.<br />
<br />
Here's how it happened:<br />
<br />
So, a half hour before my appointment, I downed a couple of Advil (as has been my pre-dental cleaning pain-relieving precautionary measure since turning 40), reminisced about my last few nasty visits to the dentist, grumbled, cringed, swore a couple of times and then hopped into the car and drove to the dentist office with my soul chock full o' dread, tension and resentment.<br />
<br />
I arrived and took a seat in the waiting room.<br />
<br />
<i>gumblegrumblegrumble</i><br />
<br />
I read a few pages of a People magazine and got caught up on Kim and Kanye's latest antics...<br />
<br />
<i>gumblegrumblegrumble</i><br />
<br />
I hated myself for a second or two for getting caught up on Kim and Kanye's latest antics...<br />
<br />
<i>gumblegrumblegrumble</i><br />
<br />
Had a couple of xrays taken...pain-free.<br />
<br />
No big deal.<br />
<br />
Xrays never hurt anyway.<br />
<br />
<i>grumblegrumblegrumble</i><br />
<br />
Then I was ushered back into the hall of horrors by the beautiful and kind Corinne. She showed me to her chair and I sat down.<br />
<br />
She bibbed me up and leaned the chair back into ready position.<br />
<br />
I put my sunglasses on...<br />
<br />
Tensed my entire body up in order to face the imminent pain and suffering head on...<br />
<br />
She lowered the light...<br />
<br />
Game Time.<br />
<br />
35ish minutes and some lovely chit chat later, she raised the light, put my chair back into its upright position and it was over.<br />
<br />
Not. One. Single. Ouchie.<br />
<br />
Even midway through, when she asked, "Is this area tender right here??',<br />
<br />
I answered honestly and eagerly...<br />
<br />
"Nope!!"<br />
<br />
Before I stood up, I flipped my Oakleys to the top of my head and told her...in reverent and hushed tones ... that she had just made me a very very happy girl and that my last several cleanings had been rather "<b><i>un</i></b>enjoyable" and that I loved her with all of my heart.<br />
<br />
No, just jokes... I didn't tell her the last part about loving her with all of my heart...even though I do.<br />
<br />
I actually had to keep myself reined in and force myself to not give her a great big hug of love and gratitude...I'm not a particularly huggy person, so the fact that I had to stop myself from embracing someone is really quite something.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I walked out of there with a spankin' new blue toothbrush, some minty floss, a SpongeBob sticker, a spring in my step and a song in my heart.<br />
<br />
I was ... and still am, really ... downright giddy.<br />
<br />
YAY!!!<br />
<br />
Thank you, Corinne!! You are an angel of mercy and gentleness!! ...Do you think you could possibly put a good word in for me with the Tooth Fairy?? I kinda trash talked her a while back and may not be on her Or Nice list anymore.<br />
<br />
And...thanks for the sticker.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i.qkme.me/3qsfg8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="http://i.qkme.me/3qsfg8.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-36870858584201743772013-07-28T22:18:00.000-04:002013-07-28T22:39:00.757-04:00SHARK ATTACK!!!...no...not really.<br />
<br />
They all survived their <a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2013/07/tropical-adventuresa-mothers-delight.html" target="_blank">Hawaii Shark Encounter</a>.. limbs and innards intact.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Phew!!!</b></span><br />
<br />
There is actual video footage to prove it.<br />
<br />
See:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/bzMxRnte9Hs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
So, that's the sharks taken care of.<br />
<br />
...now there's just the almost-hurricane to contend with.<br />
<br />
<i>*sigh*</i>squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-19436341257989310552013-07-28T15:45:00.001-04:002013-07-28T22:28:37.647-04:00You've Certainly Outdone Yourself This Time, President!!Me and My Guy were in the grocery store today and whilst wandering through the produce section, something peculiar caught my eye.<br />
<br />
I immediately thought to my Self,<br />
<br />
"What the hell is THAT, Self??!! It looks like a giant shiny green plastic penis!! I had no idea <a href="http://www.presidentschoice.ca/en_CA.html" target="_blank">President's Choice</a> was peddling sex toys now, too ... <a href="http://www.joefresh.com/en/" target="_blank">Joe Fresh</a> indeed."<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Upon reflection, I shouldn't have been so taken aback...after all, there is no shortage of phallus-shaped objects in the produce section...Actually, if you stop and think about it for a second, the number of veggies and fruit that resemble male dangly bits is quite staggering, really.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I'll give you a minute to think it over...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Am I right or am I right???</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I'm right.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Penises aplenty.</span><br />
<br />
Anyhow, once I recovered from the shock of being exposed to a shiny green plastic penis-shaped object, I brought it to My Guy's attention and we went a little closer in order to investigate.<br />
<br />
We quickly figured out (by reading the label) that it was NOT a giant shiny green plastic penis...rather it WAS, in fact, a shiny green plastic Asparagus Holder....that kinda looks like a penis.<br />
<br />
BRILLIANT!!!<br />
<br />
Oh, Almighty President!! You've made a mighty fine Choice this time around ...and I thank you for that.<br />
<br />
I don't know how many times I've searched through my kitchen for a container to suitably store my asparagus...and, now, for 3 bucks I've got my very own shiny green plastic penis-shaped asparagus holder.<br />
<br />
The kids'll get a huge kick out if it when the get home from Hawaii...if they don't get eaten by a <a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2013/07/tropical-adventuresa-mothers-delight.html" target="_blank">shark</a>...or washed away in a <a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2013/07/tropical-adventuresa-mothers-delight.html" target="_blank">storm surge</a>.<br />
<br />
And, here it is....<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxMlI1Z86T5yInzGw6DDIvT1IoCH0PEESZOVPcE62HRnYTE5ABd0hXTkJo0jxZ5Uj3eHkGvlQvCXuhdJh4B4Qd9kUp9smun9p14jm4DvqLUu6T2zdd3cwGqrRUta043A1YsQ26UQagUCE/s640/blogger-image--479938452.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxMlI1Z86T5yInzGw6DDIvT1IoCH0PEESZOVPcE62HRnYTE5ABd0hXTkJo0jxZ5Uj3eHkGvlQvCXuhdJh4B4Qd9kUp9smun9p14jm4DvqLUu6T2zdd3cwGqrRUta043A1YsQ26UQagUCE/s640/blogger-image--479938452.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not a Penis</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-82023582488899427212013-07-28T12:03:00.000-04:002013-07-28T12:10:57.497-04:00Tropical Adventures...A Mother's DelightMy children are in Hawaii hanging out with the ol Erstwhile Husband. He's working there for several weeks and the lucky little bastards/darlings get to spend 10 days with him.<br />
<br />
This is all very lovely and I'm only slightly/a lot-ly jealous of their tropical escapades.<br />
<br />
I miss them like crazy....the house is pretty quiet ...and tidy...without them here but overall, I am handling my temporarily empty nest with grace and peace.<br />
<br />
However...<br />
<br />
Currently, there are a couple of things that are causing me a wee bit of motherly concern... so here's:<br />
<br />
<u><span style="font-size: large;"><b>"A Comprehensive List of a Couple of Things that are Currently Causing Me a Wee Bit of Motherly Concern Regarding the Fact that My Children are Currently in Hawaii... with Their Father"</b></span></u><br />
<b>by: squirrel_e_girl</b><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Thing #1:</li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrGijO82KQThNWwscyZ6meVdO5LRvBq0EZP3ysko9X8VaYYDVEu2bqhyphenhyphennardvo-cc8glXwKpf2EhBu37h8_orwsQ1Cqy7nY0OcdboHnfb9KllOyOHZAkO1DOdBZf2oqTMQIWnqBTW28I4/s640/blogger-image-878136537.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrGijO82KQThNWwscyZ6meVdO5LRvBq0EZP3ysko9X8VaYYDVEu2bqhyphenhyphennardvo-cc8glXwKpf2EhBu37h8_orwsQ1Cqy7nY0OcdboHnfb9KllOyOHZAkO1DOdBZf2oqTMQIWnqBTW28I4/s640/blogger-image-878136537.jpg" /></a></b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Thing B:</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br />
<b></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghfK22Y-lu6b8NwSQ4TzRdRHlr-ydJVsIUK8ur7ja4_8jvX1E4kbvWLMUC_H_5IJUSVWcZdmcBLH8eNfcGI_x6hRXff4oLZDwRQiJtGB6_gN2w9vKobvKsFgJqtzjhAF4Ugjdf_OFMt8c/s640/blogger-image--785704884.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghfK22Y-lu6b8NwSQ4TzRdRHlr-ydJVsIUK8ur7ja4_8jvX1E4kbvWLMUC_H_5IJUSVWcZdmcBLH8eNfcGI_x6hRXff4oLZDwRQiJtGB6_gN2w9vKobvKsFgJqtzjhAF4Ugjdf_OFMt8c/s640/blogger-image--785704884.jpg" /></a></b></div>
<b>
</b>
<b><br /></b><b>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</b><br />
<div>
<b><br /></b></div>
<div>
Sharks and Hurricanes.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Of course.<br />
<b><br /></b><i>*sigh*</i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
Being the safety-conscious parent I am, I sent them this wardrobe suggestion for this morning's adventure:<br />
<br />
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i></i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilR4wGrmDQF-P4dco7e7Lu7mBbl3rQAMiDKi2bXNONhRbfG49tl0gp8haKGinsHkq9S404MYcVRZMMaX39F4Q-zJXigIE9S1DQ0sdQ1uLe4fFipikGULVfHX_WrzFkOvlglFQkJ13ksJE/s640/blogger-image-1463056269.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilR4wGrmDQF-P4dco7e7Lu7mBbl3rQAMiDKi2bXNONhRbfG49tl0gp8haKGinsHkq9S404MYcVRZMMaX39F4Q-zJXigIE9S1DQ0sdQ1uLe4fFipikGULVfHX_WrzFkOvlglFQkJ13ksJE/s400/blogger-image-1463056269.jpg" width="400" /></a></i></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
I also sent emails to all three children, asking them to STAY AWAY FROM THE F**KING WATER when Flossie comes to town...since, as noted above, <i>"Flossie will also cause rough surf to develop in an east to west fashion across all of the Hawaiian islands Monday through Tuesday, creating dangers for surfers and beachgoers."</i></div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/971157_10151817531913828_568787091_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/971157_10151817531913828_568787091_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small; text-align: start;"> My Boy surfing for the first time...sans Shark-Tricking Wetsuit</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">...creating dangers for surfers and beachgoers.</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Of course.</div>
<div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
*sigh*</div>
</div>
</div>
squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-36622791083232706792013-06-24T14:34:00.003-04:002013-06-24T14:47:23.137-04:00Summer Math<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Here in Northern Southern Ontario, we are enduring summer's first heat wave.<br />
<br />
Hooray??<br />
<br />
The humidity is yucky and oppressive and since I don't do particularly well with being oppressed ...or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q58nTiZrJ0" target="_blank">repressed</a>...I can sometimes err on the side of edginess and little things that I can normally let slide tend to annoy the bejesus out of me.<br />
<br />
Par example...<br />
<br />
Yesterday, I was standing in the kitchen preparing dinner and I realized that I had started to twitch and my head felt like it might explode. At first, I thought I was having some sort of stroke-like episode but then I looked behind me and any and all worries concerning my health immediately vanished.<br />
<br />
This is what I saw:<br />
<br />
(make sure you turn up the volume in order to experience the video's full effect)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/wTx66XmZflo?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
Can you understand why even my subconscious got a wee bit annoyed and twitchy without my being consciously aware of why I was suffering an annoyance-fuelled stroke??<br />
<br />
Now, I adore dogs as much as the next guy...that is why we open our home to our friends' dogs... and it is tons of fun and wildly entertaining...usually.<br />
<br />
Yesterday, we were lucky enough to be hosting 2 lovely grrls (whom I have known since they were puppies)...and it was super crazy hot.<br />
<br />
Oppressive Humidity(2 Resident Dogs + 2 Guest Dogs) = 4 HotDogs<br />
<br />
4 HotDogs ÷ 2 = 2 Pairs of Panties<br />
<br />
Oppressive Heat + 2 Pairs of Panties = 1 Annoyed and Twitchy squirrel_e_girlsquirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-34138793166305172502013-06-23T20:58:00.000-04:002013-06-23T20:58:15.782-04:00Do as I say...not as I do.I am about to impart some powerful and life-changing wisdom to you, my Beloved Readers.<br />
<br />
Are you ready??<br />
<br />
O.K.<br />
<br />
....<br />
<br />
Never run through a forest wearing flip flops.<br />
<br />
Don't do it.<br />
<br />
Don't.<br />
<br />
If you do, a little tiny, well camouflaged stumpy protrusion may just leap out and rip the skin off the end of your big toe.<br />
<br />
Like this:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha3wA8NWD_g8qJDwMITcsmUgyTvEaZd-Wx6DaAbG8ePtAkAW12jENaGG4_4S7yU2m8EtT_hgE3D_V17UvDDT9E96l9UN6LEhf5gZFmbniMnBvWVEMGH5DxBd_itwuHx-7aqoGkNuHTo1o/s640/blogger-image--495084414.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha3wA8NWD_g8qJDwMITcsmUgyTvEaZd-Wx6DaAbG8ePtAkAW12jENaGG4_4S7yU2m8EtT_hgE3D_V17UvDDT9E96l9UN6LEhf5gZFmbniMnBvWVEMGH5DxBd_itwuHx-7aqoGkNuHTo1o/s640/blogger-image--495084414.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Yes...it hurt.<br />
<br />
And, yes...I said a whole bunch of bad words.<br />
<br />
Well, actually, I think it was one bad word repeated a whole bunch of times.<br />
<br />
I think I might've frightened the little dogs I was walking. They looked a wee bit spooked.<br />
<br />
The Story:<br />
<br />
I was walking 2 of the cutest dogs ever, on the beautiful woodland trail behind their house and I realized I was running a bit late so I thought I'd maybe jog in order to make up some time. (I had an appointment with my sister to get my old lady chin whiskers zapped off...she is a Massage Therapist who works at a spa and they have an old lady chin whisker zapper)<br />
<br />
So I started up with a nice easy jog and thought to my Self,<br />
<br />
"Self, this is actually a-ok. We should do this everyday...a nice easy jog through the woods just to ramp up the old heart rate a bit. I'm really enjoying this. I can feel the endorphins waking up and dancing in my blo--AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!<br />
<br />
F**KF**KF**KF**F**KF**KF**KF**K**KF**KF**KF**KF**KF**KF**KF**K!<br />
<br />
OHMYCHRISTTHATREALLYREALLYREALLYF**KINGHURTS!!!"<br />
<br />
"SELF!!! I CAN'T BEAR TO LOOK!! IS MY TOE STILL ATTACHED TO MY FOOT??"<br />
<br />
I took a quick glance and was relieved to see that I still had a big toe...but it <i>was</i> covered in a whole lot of blood and it really REALLY hurt.<br />
<br />
I carried on with my walk...now limping and laughing at myself instead of jogging all carefree-like with great plans of fitness and health.<br />
<br />
I managed to return to the house and tucked the sweet, bewildered little doggies back in their room and wrapped my mangled toe in a bunch of paper towel...still not looking too closely because I was still kinda worried about what I'd see if I spent more than a split second examining my wound...and besides, there was no extra time for thorough wound-examination, I had an old lady chin whisker zapping appointment with my sister...who is my rock and saviour....SHE will take care of me and my ouchie toe.<br />
<br />
Before I could seek blessed salvation, I had one more dog to walk...but since I couldn't really walk, I just let him out for a quick whizzer...Sorry Blue....I owe you one.<br />
<br />
...and THEN I headed to my sister<br />
<br />
...and salvation.<br />
<br />
I got to the spa and me and my paper-towel enshrouded toe hung out in the reception area for a few minutes and I think we might've slipped into a weirdo surreal state of toe-pain shock but then, like an angel of mercy, my sister arrived and whisked me back into the pedicure room...SEE!! I knew I had come to to the right place.<br />
<br />
She looked at my owie and immediately sprung into action. And after quickly procuring a handy-dandy first aid kit, she tore open a sterilizing alcohol wipe and used it to gently clean my gaping bloody wound ...<br />
<br />
...did I mention that it was an ALCOHOL-soaked wipe??<br />
<br />
HOLY SHIT!!!!<br />
<br />
If I thought having the skin ripped off my toe by a stump in the woods hurt...I was sorely mistaken....<span style="font-size: x-small;"><----see what I did there??? sorely mistaken??...sorely....mistaken...sorely??!! hahahahaha </span><br />
<br />
Well, that was downright blissful ...orgasmic even...compared to having an alcohol-soaked wipe applied to a gaping bloody wound.<br />
<br />
Somehow, I managed to NOT kick her in the face...but I did, rather emphatically, suggest that she not come near me with that alcohol-soaked wipe of intolerable agony....instead, she used tweezers to remove the little bits of debris that were lodged in my flesh and then she used a teeny tiny super sharp needle to pull the flap of skin out from under the other part of my toe-skin that was still attached to my toe and she nicely reaffixed the flap of toe-skin to the side of the toenail from which it had been wrenched.<br />
<br />
She lovingly bandaged my ravaged toe...gave me a lollipop for being a brave girl and then she zapped my beards.<br />
<br />
No more old lady chin whiskers for this kid!!!<br />
<br />
Thanks, Mar!!!<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibB58sa5qCtUyBZBMEg1eceVBy43kTLvkWwjv2AN_3LUDt9di33cQ6QBR0snZrLmcMmCsMGBhyGnsY7Q4CdFGSfsIc5mcsfxR43Mq3rSA7qzGaWC4zIm8JkU6u8k7fEQ6QKcrm8WIwYoI/s1600/shooting-star_wallpapers_5008_1600x1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibB58sa5qCtUyBZBMEg1eceVBy43kTLvkWwjv2AN_3LUDt9di33cQ6QBR0snZrLmcMmCsMGBhyGnsY7Q4CdFGSfsIc5mcsfxR43Mq3rSA7qzGaWC4zIm8JkU6u8k7fEQ6QKcrm8WIwYoI/s320/shooting-star_wallpapers_5008_1600x1200.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
p.s. The next day, I returned to the scene of the crime and found the likely culprit...if you look closely, you can almost see remnants of my toe flesh..and some blood...blood that still has some of my exercise-induced endorphins dancing around in it...jerks.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0bNPHiUhih5FRYg3bgpgzw7Tj7XoiqETefTE6mtIIOH4qs9iAgr-FsJuQ67olZPM6sdBlO2OtNTqTD2JJPjdN0k-ubB5ERXy7ESihoCk7d7oz_m557QTi7ymuoz42TfFamXlACvrhX8Y/s640/blogger-image--1096230778.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0bNPHiUhih5FRYg3bgpgzw7Tj7XoiqETefTE6mtIIOH4qs9iAgr-FsJuQ67olZPM6sdBlO2OtNTqTD2JJPjdN0k-ubB5ERXy7ESihoCk7d7oz_m557QTi7ymuoz42TfFamXlACvrhX8Y/s640/blogger-image--1096230778.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Stump That Bit Me</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQgjQL7VM_uSnmuNeWlNuHhOnNtdCprO1-j7RX9Ml79UTAcSEj7uAZUnyYiEPEaSkSiKXVYpOpc8Nv8iiWcoYYw6AECHxBn7fcVkzAd6_K4Yc20VlQneOCjCgaI8UK_2J2yY2Uv-pawZc/s640/blogger-image-1993767080.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQgjQL7VM_uSnmuNeWlNuHhOnNtdCprO1-j7RX9Ml79UTAcSEj7uAZUnyYiEPEaSkSiKXVYpOpc8Nv8iiWcoYYw6AECHxBn7fcVkzAd6_K4Yc20VlQneOCjCgaI8UK_2J2yY2Uv-pawZc/s640/blogger-image-1993767080.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Can You See It??...neither did I.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-23885105144762501572013-06-07T15:57:00.003-04:002013-06-07T16:09:35.968-04:00Did I really just say that??Ok...<br />
<br />
So...<br />
<br />
I'm going to say this once...and once only...so listen carefully...<br />
<br />
Organic Peanut Butter and Organic Raspberry Jam on Stonemill Bakehouse Sunflower and Walnut toast is maybe a little bit more delicious than Nutella on Crappy White Bread toast.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.stonemillbakehouse.com/010~English/020~Healthy_Breads/010~Wellbeing_Breads/020~Omega_3/sunflower-walnut-bread.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://www.stonemillbakehouse.com/010~English/020~Healthy_Breads/010~Wellbeing_Breads/020~Omega_3/sunflower-walnut-bread.png" width="159" /></a></div>
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<br />squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-40320042746302310712013-06-05T14:53:00.001-04:002013-06-05T19:45:53.887-04:00Happy Birthday, Spencer!! ...yeah...ummm...sorry 'bout that.I had the craziest dream last night...actually it was at 4am so I guess that counts as this morning...<br />
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<i>~A Warning...This post is about a dream I had and my dog.<span style="font-size: x-small;">..to clarify, it is not about a dream about my dog...</span>so if you are one of those people who hates listening to other people describe their dreams or if you are one of those people who hates listening to other people talk about their dogs, this post is not for you.~</i><br />
<br />
So, I was in the middle of this crazy super vivid dream...I could recount it in minute detail...but I won't ... but I will give you the basics:<br />
<br />
So, Me and two friends ...Ron and Hermione maybe ?? ... are frantically trying to lock our apartment in order to keep out a very vicious vampire who is hell-bent on getting me. We manage to get all the main floor windows and doors suitably sealed but for whatever reason, we neglect to lock the window on the upper level...FOOLS!!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Same thing happened to me in the only zombie dream I've ever had...In that particular dream, I had assumed...rather wrongly... that zombies couldn't climb and so hadn't bothered with securing the upstairs windows. Apparently they <b><i>can</i></b> climb...the tricky bastards)</span><br />
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So, I catch a glimpse of the vampire scaling the fire-escape.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">I ask you...what self-respecting vampire uses the fire-escape?? Really, he should've just zipped up the wall relying on his inhumanly strong finger tips and vampirey super speed to propel him...but I digress...weird. </span><br />
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So, I immediately gather Ron and Hermione into a room that has wrapped Christmas presents covering the floor...<span style="font-size: x-small;">of course it does.</span>.. and using some deep breathing techniques and a couple of magic words, I make the three of us invisible.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Invisibility cloaks are for pussies.</span><br />
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So, a split second after the three of us cease being see-able, the vampire calmly opens the door and is rather surprised to find it empty...<span style="font-size: x-small;">other than, of course, the plethora of Christmas prezzies.</span>..Ron and Hermione get all fool-hardily cocky and start jumping up and down right in front of the vampire taunting him...I guess they were more than just invisible...obviously my dreamy magic is very powerful. Except that trying to keep them safe through all their antics must've drained my own protection and the vampire sees me and lunges at me. He trips over some of the presents but manages to grab hold of one of my feet. In an effort to rid myself of this nasty vampire who has glommed onto my leg, I lift up my non-glommed on leg and with all the adrenaline-fuelled anti-vampire strength I can muster and a Braveheart-worthy battle cry, drive my heel right into the vampire's face...<br />
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Only it isn't the vampire's face...<br />
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I actually drove my heel, with all the dreamy adrenaline fuelled anti-vampire strength I could muster and a Braveheart-worthy battle cry...<br />
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...right into my poor dog's ribcage.<br />
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I was awake as soon as my foot connected with Spencer's side and just as he yelped in pain-fuelled surprise, I gathered him up in my arms and apologized like crazy, but he was having none of that and bounded off the bed. He wandered around the bedroom grumbling for a minute before he gave in to my pleas for him to come back for a make-up snuggle.<br />
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I had to apologize with special fervour since today is his birthday and what a way to start his 7th year of life.<br />
<br />
Poor fella.<br />
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I quickly debriefed my startled and not very awake Guy who wasn't sure what all the yelling had been about and then he conked out again.<br />
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Deciding to forgive and forget, Spencer curled up right beside me and fell fast asleep. Dogs are good that way.<br />
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I was feeling a little less guilty and was falling asleep myself when ...<br />
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...he farted.<br />
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...pretty much right in my face.<br />
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I guess I deserved it.<br />
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Forgiven...but not forgotten.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDEG_YL4xFxJyZWVsnImT44XWT94YPCN8YwyUc3WYaH52c6d8B5vjomthZykpZBlrqwdHFZNS10xjxteEzEvqTw1_TuCxK64Xds7vHA4vo5LFHIqWWkVerEXOAuH-1c2Lg_EqvU-78Unw/s1600/IMG_0533.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDEG_YL4xFxJyZWVsnImT44XWT94YPCN8YwyUc3WYaH52c6d8B5vjomthZykpZBlrqwdHFZNS10xjxteEzEvqTw1_TuCxK64Xds7vHA4vo5LFHIqWWkVerEXOAuH-1c2Lg_EqvU-78Unw/s320/IMG_0533.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spencer- Nappin' it up</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivP6PVE0whhsuAWrap8LXC5Q8uzOdmoF98NONOGN-TypuEH-NniXguAUTgP3AFpJbA-K8Ty2GSA0Y5ijRN5hjNeJnMEniAh0HvOY5-ahMY6PAPRlqHPOpLsqcv-R-5p12Wkm4V1W98C9k/s1600/IMG_0436.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivP6PVE0whhsuAWrap8LXC5Q8uzOdmoF98NONOGN-TypuEH-NniXguAUTgP3AFpJbA-K8Ty2GSA0Y5ijRN5hjNeJnMEniAh0HvOY5-ahMY6PAPRlqHPOpLsqcv-R-5p12Wkm4V1W98C9k/s320/IMG_0436.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, that is a dog.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">More Snoozin'</td></tr>
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Little dog, big bed. Big dog, little bed.<br />
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squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-72827315221984524412013-06-01T19:38:00.000-04:002013-06-01T21:38:27.792-04:00Spring StuffWowie...<br />
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I can't even begin to believe that it's been almost a month since I posted something...<span style="font-size: x-small;">well...not counting the plea for help I posted several minutes ago.</span><br />
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Because it's been so long since I wrote anything, I'm a little rusty and I'm not feeling particularly inspired or creative ... <span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2013/06/just-lil-something-i-need-to-share.html" target="_blank">I'm gonna blame that on Peter</a></span> .... so I think I'll just bring you up to speed on what I've been up to for the past few weeks.<br />
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Buckle up, you're in for one hell of a ride!!<br />
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...not really, but anyway...<br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">"A Comprehensive List of Stuff I've Been Up to for the Past Few Weeks"</span></u></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">by: squirrel_e_girl</span></b><br />
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</b><br />
<ul>
<li><b>I have rejoiced in the glorious magic of all that is SPRING!!</b> I love Spring as much as <a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2012/10/i-fu-love-fall.html" target="_blank">I F@#king Love Fall</a> and it fills my Self with JOY to witness the bleak barren brown dead world of winter's aftermath little bit by little bit transform and burst forth into countless shades of greeny greatness. Watching the ice leave the lake is crazy exciting for me. And each day, when driving the kids to school, the sun was noticeably higher and higher in the sky....cause for a daily celebration, if you ask me. And, even though we had a couple of freakish May snowstorms, it was no big schmoo because it was, after all, May and June comes after May and it never snows in June ... so yeah...no big schmoo.</li>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyweM2oPoEGY8TkSSV99BBQYpqzBBzRT0QB4J-vLa_ivvdhjsE5bQOLvwMEpWOLk5EGXGPrMdAnNVl6NUo2SVws-jFwitenHi6EKzcgVeYJDTprjv50akQbndouHaI_uGs2-d5CZioF14/s640/blogger-image--1846203565.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyweM2oPoEGY8TkSSV99BBQYpqzBBzRT0QB4J-vLa_ivvdhjsE5bQOLvwMEpWOLk5EGXGPrMdAnNVl6NUo2SVws-jFwitenHi6EKzcgVeYJDTprjv50akQbndouHaI_uGs2-d5CZioF14/s640/blogger-image--1846203565.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Bewildered Tulips</td></tr>
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<ul>
<li>I got the most AWESOME Mothers Day gifties from my kiddos!! This is the first time they picked out and purchased a present for me without any guidance at all and it was very sweet and very thoughtful and it made me very very happy :D</li>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcGnk_v01lInX1geetPM4pg8j1jegSwSe2oUyX1cXnOL1SfmvGETghwFG66P2Tc7lk-Rf5QVRWnLZpb7x76dyK1DoQPElQ89IZvPSIKqvccUEudus9N2Fpq_6FUJg3C7RcCn27q64E86A/s640/blogger-image--1839634995.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcGnk_v01lInX1geetPM4pg8j1jegSwSe2oUyX1cXnOL1SfmvGETghwFG66P2Tc7lk-Rf5QVRWnLZpb7x76dyK1DoQPElQ89IZvPSIKqvccUEudus9N2Fpq_6FUJg3C7RcCn27q64E86A/s640/blogger-image--1839634995.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Chippy and Weenie Dog Bookends<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqNTuRe4Mqfv92vwBcb4l59tknz_Nxu-pexNpY-a0I0z93lgcTJJusQ0yE7woUPdeMLw07kYx3QzcVFkuVU03wYGJmszOiIyqUWveTYfu8FcHwaOBZEWNhQ2emltXThi5ru4bt431UK7k/s640/blogger-image--535289857.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqNTuRe4Mqfv92vwBcb4l59tknz_Nxu-pexNpY-a0I0z93lgcTJJusQ0yE7woUPdeMLw07kYx3QzcVFkuVU03wYGJmszOiIyqUWveTYfu8FcHwaOBZEWNhQ2emltXThi5ru4bt431UK7k/s640/blogger-image--535289857.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What?? This is the way they go, right??</td></tr>
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<ul>
<li><b>I have planted my flower beds with lots of different kinds of flowers that I've never used before</b>..which is big news in my world... If you want to see some unbelievably stellar decision-making skills in action then all you have to do is accompany me to the garden store...and watch me wander back and forth around in circles umm-ing and ahh-ing and holy christ I don't know what to choose-ing ...and then on to a different garden store ... and watch me wander back and forth around in circles umm-ing and ahh-ing and holy christ I don't know what to choose-ing... and then on to a different garden store ... and watch me wander back and forth around in circles umm-ing and ahh-ing and holy christ I don't know what to choose-ing ... and then back to the first garden store ... and watch me wander back and forth around in circles umm-ing and ahh-ing and holy christ I don't know what to choose-ing...OH MY GOD!! ALL THESE FLOWERS SUCK!! WHY CAN'T ANYONE HAVE ANY GOOD FLOWERS?? MY BRAIN HURTS!! I NEED A NAP!!! ...and then drive to a garden store 25 minutes out of town and finally find a bunch of flowers that don't look like crap and then watch me breathe a great big sigh of relief... and then proceed to take a painfully long time choosing exactly which ones I want and how many to get. And you also have to give me little hugs here and there and also encouraging pats on the back are a nice touch and you have to, softly and gently, assure me that these flowers are the perfect ones and that I'm NOT a complete lunatic. My Guy is a saint. Thanks Sweetie Guy!!</li>
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<ul>
<li><b>I planted my veggie garden, too</b>, only this year NO radishes or cucumbers BLECH and hopefully there will not be a repeat of <a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2012/07/whats-he-do-nibble-your-bum.html" target="_blank">last summer</a>. Although, there <i>have</i> been several bunny sightings as of late. Good thing we've got Asshole Cat back ... he can keep the buck-toothed buggers at bay. Even though he is waaaaaaaaay fatter than he was last year so he might not be nearly as effective as a critter deterrent as he was 12 short months ago. You see, after we brought him back from near-starvation, he kept right on truckin' and proceeded to guilt me/annoy me with his loud and incessant meowing into over-feeding him and as a result, he is rather rotund...oops. On the plus side...<span style="font-size: x-small;">get it??!! PLUS side/PLUS size??hahahaha...</span> maybe he'll be less able to catch and kill all the birds and chippies who have the misfortune of living within a several kilometre radius of our house because he's so dumpy and slow. He's on a more moderated feeding schedule so hopefully he'll slim down in no time.</li>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcPQi8GMTtBsSPa0Y-3HEPWfgvMhLfW0_Al7n_YPeH_jYFL93m9WzINHS1w5jsyJe6r2ea6Q0N5KyqG86vOWIDWvq-mry666d1GLKRXftfJmmD9yps2b1VHm7fwLqz-NJvY8Jeo1y_ayA/s640/blogger-image--1067069190.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcPQi8GMTtBsSPa0Y-3HEPWfgvMhLfW0_Al7n_YPeH_jYFL93m9WzINHS1w5jsyJe6r2ea6Q0N5KyqG86vOWIDWvq-mry666d1GLKRXftfJmmD9yps2b1VHm7fwLqz-NJvY8Jeo1y_ayA/s640/blogger-image--1067069190.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Veggie Garden Security Cat in Action</td></tr>
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<ul>
<li>Speaking of a moderated feeding schedule...<b>I have gone 2 whole weeks withOUT ice cream OR root beer OR Nutella.</b> I have even turned down several suggestions/pleas for trips to Dairy Queen. I have even driven the kids to DQ so they can have ice cream and I have abstained. For those of you who know me have no choice but to realize that THAT IS F$%KING UNBELIEVABLE!!! And is worthy of much admiration and respect...and undisguised incredulousness. I am trying my hardest to eat less crappily and so far, I have been pretty good. I just need to ramp up the exercise aspect of things in order to be fully and effectively healthier, but I've pinned a bunch of cool new workouts on my <a href="http://pinterest.com/squirrelegirl/healthy-me/" target="_blank">"Healthy Me"</a> board so I'm half-way there really. Right?</li>
</ul>
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<ul>
<li><b>I survived a nasty wind attack on my home last night.</b> I was hanging out minding my own business when I heard this weirdly loud noise and a big CRACK and I thought the roof was going to lift right off my house and I ran to the front door to frantically summon The Boy in from the driveway where he <i>had</i> been skateboarding and <i>now</i> was dodging flying debris and empty plastic flower containers. I believe it went a little like this "JACK!!! IN-IN-IN-IN-IN-IN-IN-IN-IN!! NOW!!!" To hear him tell it, I might've been a bit shrill and screamy but in my mind I was calm and cool as a cucumber. Then as fast as it arrived, the wind was gone. And a tree in my backyard was mostly broken thus depriving my doggies of shade on hot sunny days...which is a drag...but I have a roof...and a house...and a Boy...so it's all good and I am grateful. About 5 minutes later, the rain and thunder and lightning arrived and we made the executive and electrical storm-based decision to forgo The Boy's Friday night soccer game. We settled in and waited for My Guy to arrive home with Max and the four of us had a feast of wings. YUM YUM and then...against my better judgement and fervent wishes, it was decided that we would play RISK. What???</li>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw8gX14G3PsKQdlm3FlefAzgoy_sY2k8TAbG7CmuFPrmvSJ72Kj_t1ZuXJEl_ZQwtjekzS-aPq6PN6mcAy9aTzbgqVFTgYy5IlUYl1VAGfDGEkmRxfdyb_rpwvWbmpVmtyMKgjyq0vgyE/s640/blogger-image--2145492070.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw8gX14G3PsKQdlm3FlefAzgoy_sY2k8TAbG7CmuFPrmvSJ72Kj_t1ZuXJEl_ZQwtjekzS-aPq6PN6mcAy9aTzbgqVFTgYy5IlUYl1VAGfDGEkmRxfdyb_rpwvWbmpVmtyMKgjyq0vgyE/s640/blogger-image--2145492070.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Broken Tree and My Broken Fence...and my Dog</td></tr>
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<br />
<ul>
<li><b>I played RISK for the first time ever. </b>Well, actually, it wasn't <i>really</i> the first time ever...We tried to play a couple of years ago, but that game ended almost before it began, with one child in tears and one in her room because she had been HORRIBLE to her little brother and needed to be removed from polite society. Needless to say, ever since, I've been a wee gun-shy when it comes to breaking out the destroyer of family harmony aka RISK....but somehow...someway...The Boy finally wore me down and convinced me that a Fun Friday Family Night of RISK was perfect thing to do. WHAT?? Anyway, the game was set up and the rules were figured out...mostly... since not one of us had really played before...<span style="font-size: x-small;">well The Boy had...once...but that was years ago and I think the subsequent "non-game that ended in despair" might've wiped his RISK memory clear</span>. I was Yellow and initially, I was getting slaughtered but then as I figured things out and got my RISK legs under me, I gained some ground and The Boy and I formed an Unholy Alliance and swept Africa, Europe, Australia and Asia and the vast majority of South America and were well on our way claiming the rest of the Americas and achieving Total World Domination!!!!! ...but then I had to call the game on account of kids paying more attention to their wireless devices than the game at hand. It had ended up with me being the only one playing because My Guy had lapsed into a mild case of Sore Loser-itis (not that I blame him...he was left with only ONE lone troop in the middle of South America) and the boys were each messing around with their respective Apple products and I got kinda iRate and, in perfect World Dominator form, declared the game officially OVER!!</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Ok...I'm back in the saddle again. See you next time!!</div>
squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-25214787199826599502013-06-01T17:13:00.002-04:002013-06-05T22:37:06.724-04:00Just a lil something I need to share...Uh oh.<br />
<br />
Approximately 43 minutes ago, I realized that my inner dialogue is being co-voiced by Peter Griffin.<br />
<br />
For reals.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure how long this has been going on but I have a feeling it's not a recent development.<br />
<br />
I was just hanging around in bed playing games on my iPad after a nice little rainy day, post-work snooze. I was suffering from a particularly stubborn case of the post-nap fuzzies and thought a couple of rounds of Candy Crush Saga would clear my head (No judging...this is a Judgement-Free Zone) and all of a sudden, it slowly but surely dawned on me that Peter was commentating my moves... in my head.<br />
<br />
Not only that, after I/Peter made a bad play OR made a funny joke, I'd hear Lois pipe up,<br />
<br />
"Oh, Peter."<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
I think I need to seek professional help.squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-55001319911817373492013-05-06T18:58:00.001-04:002013-05-11T10:35:12.572-04:00Please BOUNCE with me, Adam Levine.This morning, as we do every school day morning, The Boy and I walked together from the house to the car, where The Girl was waiting impatiently for us to finally get our act together and join her so we can get to school on time, as she does every school day morning.<br />
<br />
The car was shuddering along with the bass line of a song that has monopolized our listening "pleasure" for the past week or so.<br />
<br />
...first to the car gets shotgun AND gets to man the stereo.<br />
<br />
So the car and its rattly speakers are vibrating at a very high volume and The Boy asks,<br />
<br />
The Boy - What is a menage a trois anyway?<br />
<br />
Me - ummmmmmm<br />
<br />
Me - ummmmmmm<br />
<br />
Me- ummmmmm .... well ahhhh... ummmmm<br />
<br />
Me - Christ<br />
<br />
Me - ummmm ... it's when you have sex with three people...no...YOU shouldn't have sex with three people. I mean it's when three people have sex.... with each other... at the same time.<br />
<br />
The Boy - Oh.<br />
<br />
The Boy - <i>*chuckle*</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Me - <i>*deep sigh* </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Me - <i>*chuckle*</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
We climb into the car, still chuckling at the awkwardness of that very brief but very loaded exchange and, curious about the cause of the chuckles, The Girl asks,<br />
<br />
The Girl - What?<br />
<br />
Me- Jack just asked me what a menage a trois was.<br />
<br />
The Girl - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!<br />
<br />
Me - You're an asshole.<br />
<br />
The Girl - AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!<br />
<br />
<i>~The Back Story:</i><br />
<i>Years ago, the ol Ertswhile Husband/Baby Daddy, for some peculiar reason bought a CD by Timbaland called Shock Value. He and I only listened to it a couple of times and decided that it would be taken out of Family Rotation because "some" of the lyrics were a little too hard-core for our then-young children.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Fast forward to a week or so ago, when The Girl happens upon that very same CD in the middle armrest of my car.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I am deeply DEEPLY mystified as to how this CD managed to end up in my car 6 years after</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>.... being relegated to a high shelf where small kids can't reach.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>... a dissolution of a marriage and the inevitable "divide by 2" that goes along with marriage dissolutions.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>... the acquisition of my "parting gift"/"thanks for coming out" ...a new-to-me 2001 Volvo XC70</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>... 2 subsequent house moves</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Weird.</i><br />
<i>End of Back Story~</i><br />
<br />
Anyhow, The Girl listened to some of the songs and decided she LOVES a couple and we've been listening to them ...on repeat....ever since.<br />
<br />
Lovely.<br />
<br />
<i>*deep sigh*</i><br />
<br />
In case you're wondering, the lyrics haven't gotten any less inappropriate over the past 6 years, but the young children have turned into young adults and I have resolved to grit my teeth and shake my head at just how bad they are.<br />
<br />
I do, however, reserve the right to complain about how terrible the lyrics are and how totally inappropriate they are.<br />
<br />
The Girl reserves the right to laugh at me and to turn the volume up so she can't hear me complain over the thump of the bass.<br />
<br />
We've had several conversations about it and they all go a little something like this:<br />
<br />
The Girl - Just listen to the music and ignore the lyrics!!<br />
<br />
Me- I CAN'T!! I spent 4 years at university being trained to pay attention to words and all the things they convey to the reader/listener. It's the only "skill" that came out of my English degree. I am cursed with actually listening and paying attention to the lyrics of every song I hear. THAT'S what Gramma and Grampa's $40 000 got me. I cannot ignore it when someone sings "BOUNCE...like yo ass has the hiccups. BOUNCE...like we was ridin in my pickup" ....I just can't!!<br />
<br />
The Girl - Oh Mum.<br />
<br />
Me - I can't.<br />
<br />
The Girl - ....<br />
<br />
Me - I can't.<br />
<br />
The Girl - ....<br />
<br />
Me - They are HORRIBLE!!<br />
<br />
The Girl - Oh Mummy. You are too funny.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And they ARE horrible.<br />
<br />
Have a little listen:<br />
<br />
LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. MOM. DAD. PLEASE DON'T LISTEN.<br />
<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/UjjX55jwkQs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I have to admit that the music IS kinda catchy...but as mentioned several times previously...<br />
<br />
I can't.<br />
<br />
And I hate that music is turning me into an old prude.<br />
<br />
My transformation into an old lady prude started about 3-4 years ago when The Girl started watching MuchMusic (Canada's MTV) and I was actually mortified by what I saw.<br />
<br />
Mortified.<br />
<br />
In most of the videos, everything was so EXCESSIVE!!<br />
<br />
Sex, money, booze...the works.<br />
<br />
This is the one that I remember seeing first:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/2up_Eq6r6Ko/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/2up_Eq6r6Ko&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/2up_Eq6r6Ko&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<br />
<br />
Yikes...actually, that one's a little tame compared to some but that's just the first one that stuck in my mind.<br />
<br />
I had to decide to either roll with it OR forbid her to watch music videos...and I am not the "forbidding" type...so I decided to roll with it.<br />
<br />
I turned and walked away...voicing my displeasure as I did so.<br />
<br />
I couldn't tell my 13 year old that she couldn't watch videos.<br />
<br />
Music and music videos are a HUGE part of teenage life.<br />
<br />
...my teenage life and my kids' teenage life.<br />
<br />
When I was a kid, I loved them.<br />
<br />
Every day, I'd get home from school, grab a snack and plop down in front of the tv and watch <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toronto_Rocks" target="_blank">"Toronto Rocks"</a> and on the weekend, I'd stay up late and watch <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Rockin'_Tonite" target="_blank">"Good Rockin' Tonight"</a>.<br />
<br />
For my 13th birthday sleep-over party, my mom rented the video disc of the uncensored version of Duran Duran's "Girls on Film".<br />
<br />
It was wholesome and tame and totally suitable for a bunch of 13 year old girls to watch...<br />
<br />
ummmm<br />
<br />
No it wasn't. <br />
<br />
It was soft-core porn and we ate it up.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/KA-LRK2Od2A?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
ummmmmm<br />
<br />
Maybe times haven't changed THAT much.<br />
<br />
Maybe I should ease up on my old lady prude schtick.<br />
<br />
Mind you, that video was virtually contraband and you had to go to a video store (that was in the back of a electronics/car stereo installation store) in order to get it .... you couldn't just sit on your couch, turn the tv on and have at it.<br />
<br />
Us teens of the 80's had to WORK to get access to our smut.<br />
<br />
:D<br />
<br />
And walk 10 miles to school.<br />
<br />
Barefoot.<br />
<br />
Uphill.<br />
<br />
Both ways.<br />
<br />
Kids these days don't know just how easy they've got it and us poor parents these days have to "ummmm and well...ahhhh" our way through definitions of various sexual acts described in rap songs.<br />
<br />
<i>*sigh*</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
THE END<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
p.s. Along the same "I am old now" line... I was laughing at myself a while ago because I realized I was trying to prove to The Girl that I'm as cool (or cooler) than the average bear by bragging to her that <b>I</b> thought Adam Levine was hot even <b>BEFORE</b> he had tattoos.<br />
<br />
I am soooo ahead of the game.<br />
<br />
I think I am what they call a hipster.<br />
<br />
BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA<br />
<br />
I am ridiculous.<br />
<br />
And kinda old.<br />
<br />
BUT...<br />
<br />
Adam Levine <b>was</b> hot before he had tattoos.<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
p.p.s. Now that I've given it a little bit of thought...it really doesn't matter if I try to shield my kids from the "evils" of today's music and all that goes along with it, because their dad.. <span style="font-size: x-small;">who is notoriously lacking in any sort of judgement regarding sharing age-appropriate/inappropriate music, movies, comedy etc etc with the children...and</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> when I say "notoriously lacking in any sort of judgement regarding sharing age-appropriate/inappropriate music, movies, comedy etc etc with the children", I mean </span><b>"NOTORIOUSLY LACKING IN ANY SORT OF JUDGEMENT REGARDING SHARING AGE-APPROPRIATE/INAPPROPRIATE MUSIC, MOVIES, COMEDY ETC. ETC WITH THE CHILDREN!!!!!" </b><span style="font-size: x-small;">I have accepted this. It's part of his charm... </span>gleefully listens to all the worst stuff with them...and even took them to a Tyler the Creator concert....<br />
<br />
But that's another<a href="http://www.thegridto.com/blog-post/five-things-you-missed-at-the-tyler-the-creator-concert/" target="_blank"> story</a>.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<i><br /></i>
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<i><br /></i>squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125420939243809962.post-78613168951825485422013-04-24T17:26:00.002-04:002013-04-24T20:21:19.688-04:00My New Favourite Search Keywords!!So, I've decided to, for the most part, ignore any and all the search keywords having anything to do with "porn", "squirrel", "Scaredy, "dirty","cartoon" or any combination of those aforementioned words. When checking in on my stats, I usually give a brief perfunctory glance down at the Search Keyword area, mutter a quick perfunctory "sickos" under my breath and carry on with my day.<br />
<br />
<i>A Quick Definition...for people who are my parents: Search Keywords are words that people type into any search engine that, for whatever reason, happen to lead their search to my blog. For those of you who may wonder what the search keywords that have led the most people to my blog?? "Santa Claus" YAY!!!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>A Quack Observation: I just watched 2 ducks casually stroll across my front yard....huh...not something you see everyday/ever. The lovely couple has carried on waddling down the street. This brings me great joy and I thought I'd share. Thanks for the smile, Mr & Mrs Mallard.</i><br />
<br />
Well....<br />
<br />
Imagine my surprise and delight when, just now, I discovered a fresh new group of search keywords!!!<br />
<br />
And, those surprising and delightful words are....<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">drumroll, please.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><b>
"musings for the sensitive lumberjack"</b><br />
<br />
AND...<br />
<br />
<b>"watching drunk women peeing at concerts"</b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>HA!!!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
Isn't that GREAT!!??<br />
<br />
Lumberjacks and women peeing at concerts!!! Finally, a break from cartoon squirrel porn.<br />
<br />
It's like a breath of fresh air.<br />
<br />
<b><i>*sigh*</i></b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
So, I gather the lumberjack one led that person to <a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2012/08/im-lumberjack-and-im-ok.html" target="_blank">this post</a> and I'm pretty sure the drunk women one led that person to<a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2012/09/my-drunk-concert.html" target="_blank"> this post</a><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">A Word of Caution: the first link is a post where I talk a little about lumberjacks and a little about crying ...huh...weird. And the second link is a post where I'm drunk ...at a concert.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
Ok...<br />
<br />
So...<br />
<br />
If you actually clicked on the second link and actually watched the videos... A) I'm sorry and 2) I'm not that obnoxious for reals... it was just the booze and tremendous amounts of caffeine talking.<br />
<br />
The week AFTER that concert I posted <a href="http://musingsfromthesquirrelcage.blogspot.ca/2012/09/the-houuuussssse-is-alivewith-sound-of.html" target="_blank">this post</a> which, near the end, has a video of me promising that the next time I go to a Zac Brown Band concert, I will remain sober and I that I will also remain for the encore...yikes.<br />
<br />
Well, guess what!!<br />
<br />
ZBB is coming to town!!!<br />
<br />
And I have tickets!!<br />
<br />
THREE of 'em!!<br />
<br />
Yep... The Girl is coming with us and I am very very excited about that. It'll be the first concert we've gone to together since she was little <span style="font-size: x-small;">(we went to see Xavier Rudd a few times. His shows are super cool. And almost five years ago we went to see Avril Lavigne. Her shows are super loud. Thousands of screaming tween girls...Holy Shit!! And actually, I was rather impressed with how Avril handled herself on stage. She seemed happy and level-headed and was really quite professional.)</span><br />
<br />
Even though I knew what the answer would be, before I went ahead and bought the tickets, I texted The Boy to ask if he wanted to go too. He texted back:<br />
<br />
"No"<br />
<br />
Don't sugarcoat it, Jack. You don't have to worry about hurting my feelings. I can take it.<br />
<br />
Anyhow, the only bummer about it all is that the concert is on August 30th...and that is a LOOOOOOONG long ways away and I am a total instant gratification kinda guy and waiting over 4 months for something this exciting is excruciating. So when the big day finally arrives, I'll be all "WAHOOooOOooOO!! Zac Brown concert!!! AWESOME!!!" but when that big day arrives, it'll also mean that summer is over and I'll be all "Damn. Winter is coming." <span style="font-size: x-small;"><----That one is for the Game of Thrones peeps out there.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<i>~An Aside: My birthday is August 13th and when I was a kid, I'd do the super excited kid Birthday Countdown and could hardly wait until it arrived and then it always did and then I'd look at the calendar again and, "AH MAN!!! Only two weeks until back to school. Crap!".So in that way, birthdays have always been kinda bittersweet for me.~</i><br />
<br />
So...to summarize:<br />
<br />
Zac Brown Band concert. August. No to Rockstar [+Vodka]s. Yes to Encore. Personal Growth. Winter. Lumberjacks.<br />
<br />
Xavier Rudd:<br />
<br />
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<br />squirrel_e_girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09423530609601487092noreply@blogger.com1