Sunday, February 5, 2012

...balls

I'm thinking I might have to give up swearin'.

Nope...You're not hallucinating....You read right. 

I'm gonna ease up on my reliance on the profane. 

As much as I love...L.O.V.E... LOVE a well-placed dirty word, I think I might've reached the limit to what even I can accept as being acceptable.

Here's what happened...

The other night, My Sweetie, My Girl and I were all sitting on the couch playing Fruit Ninja, seeing who could slice the most fruits having a wonderfully fun time. 

~Now, before I continue, I feel I must address those of you who are perhaps rolling your eyes thinking how lame it is to sit around playing iPad games ... you have no idea how beautifully awesome (not to mention unfortunately infrequent) it is to have an opportunity to spend a night playing and laughing with a 15 year old who chooses to hang out with her Mum on a Friday. Yay Me!!~

So....We were having an absolute blast...The Girl, of course, was killing us...She is a Fruit Ninja Extraordinaire....a Fruit Ninja Ninja, if you will. I can hold my own but she was pulling in 10 Fruit Combos ....which is virtually unheard of. Pure Fruit Ninja Gold.

My Guy is a bit of a newb and, as such, kinda sucks.

The mother-daughter competition was beyond fierce. 

Fruit was being slaughtered all over the place!! 

Unbridled enthusiasm and reckless excitement filled the air!!

It was my turn...things were going well. I had a couple of sweet combos under my belt and I was making the most of my mad slicing skills!!

And then...

I missed the Fruit Frenzy Banana...

Super frustrated, I shouted the first thing that leapt to my mind....

"COCK...balls"

Well, that was it. Any semblance of class and decorum dissolved instantly. The Girl laughed until she hurt herself and.... I think she might've peed her pants. 

Goddamn, it was beyond hilarious. All three of us ended up in tears, clutching our aching sides.

Ahhhh good times.

Good clean Family Friday Night Fun.

BUT...

It got me to thinking.

This incident forced me to realize that if my idea of an appropriate dirty-word-diffusing substitute for "SUCKER!!!" is "...balls", then I might have to do some serious re-evaluation of my knee-jerk, 'go-to' lexicon. 

What if... I stubbed my toe in a room full of toddlers??

What if... I smashed my thumb with a hammer in front of an octogenarian bridge game??

Suppose I used the wrong fork whilst dining with the Queen??

I shudder to think of the possibilities...and their grim consequences.

So....

After much reflection, I've decided to re-vamp my vocabulary. 

No more swears for me. 

...for now ;)

8 comments:

Katy Waite said...

Not gunna lie , this made me cry from laughter again just remembering ... :D

squirrel_e_girl said...

We sure know how to have fun on a Friday night, don't we?!!
xo Mum

trailgrrl said...

You had me at "fruit ninja" : )
When I read a post like this I feel a little sad for never having children...but your post and the posts of other mums out there remind me just how cool and fun and in love with their children parents are so it helps me in terms of being a teacher...be more patient when parents get mad at me over a grade I give their child ; ) Your post also just made me laugh out loud and that is a great way to start the day...

Laura said...

Here's how "out of it" I am. I thought that you were actually cutting real fruit!
I guess that in this day in age, I should have realized... :P

I say too many swears as well. Every so often I think that I should clean things up. I do well for a bit-till something big goes down. :)

((Hugs))
Laura

squirrel_e_girl said...

Isn't Fruit Ninja AWESOME!!! ...and, thanks...it makes me happy to hear that my silly words help to bring more smiles into this world :)

squirrel_e_girl said...

Fruit Ninja with REAL fruit??? Now THAT would be a spectacular way to spend a Friday night!!!
Oh...and for the record...I don't think you're a weirdy for enjoying that bizarro pizza video ... because it is excellent..I think you're a total weirdy for NOT liking The Descendants...weirdy ;)

LisaAnn said...

Hahahaha, this is hilarious! You just made me laugh so loud!

squirrel_e_girl said...

Excellent!! Then my work here is done.

And...Thanks :)