Monday, August 8, 2011

Guilty As Charged

Life is a wonderful fabulous beautiful thing.  It has meaning. It has purpose.

~A Quick Stream of Consciousness Tangent...Auto-Correct brings so many unexpected flashes of joy into my world. For example... Just now, I was typing "purpose" and had misspelled it somehow. Auto-Correct saw fit to switch my spelled-wrong "purpose" to "pepper"...which totally cracks me up. I might just leave it that way. Not exactly the sentence or sentiment I'm going for but it is true so why not go with it.~

My Blog Post Take 2...

Life is a wonderful fabulous beautiful thing.  It has meaning. It has pepper.

Life just wouldn't be life if it had no meaning. Pepper, on the other hand, I'm not a huge fan of so I could easily do without....but... Everyone has a purpose... Something to strive for... Something to work towards... Something to give their life meaning.

Meaning is important.

You know what else is important?


Pleasure is fun and it's important to have fun.

You know what's even funner than plain old run of the mill pleasure???

~Oh,  silly Auto-Correct!! No, I don't mean "runner"... I mean "funner"~

You know what's even funner than plain old run of the mill pleasure???

That's right!!!

The always awesome...

The ever entertaining....

 I'm talkin' 'bout the one... the only...

The Guilty Pleasure!!

Oh yeah.

Everyone's got least one... and if you don't then I don't wanna be friends with you anymore. No, I mean it....Scram. Go be meaningful and purposeful with some other bloggy crowd. I'm going to write about fun stupid stuff and I don't want you killin' my buzz.

Personally, I have more than at least one. In fact, I have several and I am going to share them with you in something I'd like to call...

"A Comprehensive List of Stuff That I Really Really Enjoy But I'm a Little/a Lot Embarrassed To Actually Admit It" 
by: squirrel_e_girl

  • "Party for Two" by Shania Twain & Mark McGrath - Such a baaaaad song but I can't help but sing and chair-dance along whenever it comes on the radio "WOO!!"

And speaking of the once-kinda-cute-now-kinda-plastic-y-cheesy Mark McGrath...

  • Don't Forget the Lyrics - Nothin' like watchin' a really bad karaoke gameshow late at night when I should be sleeping so I'm not zombie-like tired in the morning "WOO!"
  • Ke$ha - Trashy Trashy Trashy but Catchy Catchy Catchy. I kinda hate myself for loving her but I can't help myself.
  • Nickelback - Dirty Cheese... best served super loud in the car when you're driving by yourself
  • Whitney Houston...The Early Years - C'mon! Who doesn't love "How Will I Know"? A little bit of the beautiful young fresh-faced Whitney does a soul good.
  • So You Think You Can Dance/American Idol - Usually referred to as Dancin'/Singin' in our household ...well, by me anyway... As in "Hurry up and finish eating so I can go watch Dancin'"... I love these shows (mostly) especially now that the judges are way too soft and nice. Mean makes me sad.
  • Sneaking furtive peeks at The National Enquirer while standing in line at the grocery store - "For people with enquiring me". It's extremely important for me to know which celebrity looks worse than I do in a bathing suit. And while I would never ever actually buy one of those newspapers, I have been known, on occasion, to purchase a copy of "People". I believe that publication scores a bit lower on the Guilty Pleas-ometer so it doesn't get its own bullet-point.
  • Playing Stupid games on my computer/iPad - This time and mind devouring habit started years ago with a simple game of Solitaire on our first laptop. Solitaire morphed into Spider Solitaire and then I discovered Bejeweled Blitz. Then came my iPad... along with a bottomless supply of Apps. First, there was the ridiculously ridiculous PocketFrogs...who knew hopping about on lilypads making frogs have sex was so much fun?? And my current addiction is stupid Crazy Birds ...most people call it Angry Birds ....I don't. I do try to mix in the odd word game like Scrabble or Boggle just to keep my mind sharp ;)
  • My iPad - I spend far more time with my iPad than is healthy but I'm not going to think about that.
  • Dairy Queen - Need I say more??
  • !!!/???/... - I am developing my own grammatical style that is based on excessive use of exclamation points, question marks and dot dot dots... Purists may cringe but f$@k 'em!!!! (Oddly enough, while I am ruthlessly judgmental when it comes to spelling, the improper use of apostrophes and the whole your/you're and there/their/they're thing, I am rather careless with/ignorant of almost every other aspect of grammar. And most everyone who reads this won't give a rat's bum about anything I just said but I felt I should offer up some sort of self-observation/justification  to those of you who are of sound grammatical mind and may just be offended by my bad grammar ...but please do remember what I just wrote about Purists)

Back to my self-indulgent list of my self-indulgences...

  • McDonald's - I know the food is beyond bad for me and together with Walmart (aka The Evil Empire), McDonald's is responsible for most of what's wrong with Western Civilization heard it here first, folks... but goddamn but I do love me a McChicken Meal - small fries, small banilla shake <---- (see that...  SMALL!! So really, I'm only being a fraction of the bad that I could be being)
  • Swearing - Classy, right??!! Swearing is fun. It's a lil somethin' I picked up during my first year at university and I haven't looked back, Motherf@$ker!!!!
  • Left-over Pumpkin Pie in my fridge - If there is pump-i-kin pie (with real whipped cream mmmmmmmm) in my house, I cannot be held responsible for my actions. I will share with my Boy and my Sweetie but they've gotta stay on their toes. If they're not careful, sneaky piece by sneaky piece, I WILL eat ALL of it. The same also holds true for Quaker Oaks butter tarts.
  • Nutella - Super good for you right??? Hazelnuts are healthy, aren't they?? The commercial tells me they are so it must be true.
  • SpongeBob - Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?? The awesomest most annoying cartoon character EVER!!! If I were to run down the checklist of everything that makes my brain hurt and causes my eye to twitch (A HA!! Perhaps a future blog post list thing??!!), SpongeBob has got everything pretty much covered. He should drive me absolutely bananas ...really, really... but miraculously, he doesn't. I heart SpongeBob.
  • The Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon - Historical Fiction, Time Travel, a hot 18th century Scottish dude having smokin' hot sex with a strong 20th century woman ....doesn't get any better than that!! I have to cover my framed English degree with a heavy blanket when I read(and re-read) these books so I can't feel its disappointed, disapproving glare boring a hole into my brain. Jamie and Claire, I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!! :D 
  • The Twilight series...Books AND Movies - The dark-blanket-covered degree gets tucked away into a far corner of the basement when those babies are being enjoyed. I'll leave it at that.
  • The Wedding Planner - I love this movie. Love. It. It is so sweet and sappy and smooshy and happy ending-y. It even came out before J Lo got too big for her britches ...figuratively,anyway ... bahahahhahahha
  • Hoarders - aka(by me) The Crazies. It's soooooooo bad and soooooo voyeuristic  and sooooooo very very  good. But I have to say that it has almost become almost too depressing to watch. Almost. Its effect on me is two-sided... On the one hand, watching it makes me feel happy that my house is beyond immaculate compared to the ones on the show and it inspires periodic bursts of cleaning and that's good, right?? On the other hand, it makes me a wee bit concerned to know that I have several empty Tide boxes under my laundry sink and more than a couple not quite empty bottles of shampoo in my linen closet.
  • Watching couples fight at the boat ramp while they try to launch their boat off the trailer and into the water &/or try to get their boat out of the water and back onto the trailer - tee hee hee :)
  • Naps/Sleeping in/Just plain old Sleeping - I L.O.V.E to sleep ... I'm very very bad at it but I love it (I have a similar relationship with golf) My nice warm comfy bed surrounded by billowy mounds of pillows...ahhhhhh heaven... makes all my sleep issues worthwhile.
  • Small Dogs (more specifically...poodles) - Small dogs are excellent and funny and easy to pick up. Yeah, they can be yappy and weirdos sometimes carry them around in purses (easy to pick up, remember?!) but who cares...they're still awesome ...and easy to pick up. Poodles (big AND small) have been subjected to foppy foolish haircuts forever and you shouldn't let a silly hair-do  get in the way of getting to know a poodle. Some of the best pooches I know are poodles.
  • Reading to excess - I adore all things books and if I happen to be in the middle of a great read, I tend to let everything else ....even Hoarders and Sleeping ...fall by the wayside. I know... Crazy right??!

Speaking of which...

  • Reading my own blog ... to excess - It's true. I like to read what I write ...over and over and over again. And again. And again. I think there might be something wrong with me.

** Special Note:
If I had compiled this list a few months ago, Country Music would've held a coveted place amongst the bullet points above but since I came out of the Country Music Closet in an earlier post, good ol Hurtin' Music has made the leap from Guilty Pleasure to Loud n' Proud, baby!!! Loud n' Proud!!!


LisaAnn said...

Your blog is so fantastic that I always get distracted and end up idling around reading your posts while I SHOULD be... I dunno, working. You sense if humor is especially appreciated right now. Thank you so much for your kind words about the loss of my Bridger.

LisaAnn said...

And by "if," I obviously mean "of." Damn auto-correct.