Mother Plucker!!!

Just over a year ago, my life was forever changed...and not in a good way... by a little Flintstones YouTube journey that I documented in a blog post entitled "Pebbles & BammBamm VS...the Devil??"

Today, my repertoire of lovely childhood song memories was even further and even more irreparably sullied by the internet.

My Guy and I were enjoying a lovely lunch...he had leftover chicken pot pie and I munched away on a couple of pieces Nutella toast mmmmmm... and the conversation turned...as it often does in our house ...to vintage snowmobiles:

My Guy - somethingsomethingsomething found an Alouette online...

Me (interrupting rudely and singing at the top of my lungs) - "ALOUETTE!!! mum-ble ALOUETTE!!" 

         ...Hey!! I think I've singing that wrong my whole life!! I think that mumble word has to be "chanter" ... chanter is "to sing" in French and you're singing "Alouette" so I bet that's it!! 

         "ALOUETTE!! CHANTER ALOUETTE!! ALOUETTE blah blah blah blah blah" 
         
         I don't even remember the rest of the words but how dumb of me to NOT know that that word was "chanter".

My Guy- I remember singing that in school.

Me - Yeah me, too!! Even though I was singing it wrong!

          "ALOUETTE!! CHANTER ALOUETTE!! ALOUETTE blah blah blah blah blah" 

My Guy - What does "alouette" mean??

Me - I dunno. I think there's some Montreal team called the Alouettes. Wait here!! I'll find out!!!

And I rushed off to grab my magical source of any and all possible knowledge in the Universe, my beloved iPad, and I quickly typed in...

A-L-L-O-E...

A-L-U-E...

Me- How the hell do you spell "Aloeutte"?? Oh...Ok...thanks predictive text!!

A-L-O-U-E-T-T-E ...

Me - Ok...here we go. Wikipedia says: "Alouette is a popular French Canadian children's song originating in France about plucking the feathers...

...and eyes???

...and beak??

...from a lark??

...in retribution for being woken up by her song??"

....

OH MY GOD!!! THAT IS A HORRIBLE SONG!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY THEY'VE BEEN TEACHING THAT SONG TO YOUNG CHILDREN FOR DECADES!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE BEEN SINGING A SONG ABOUT PLUCKING A POOR LITTLE BIRD'S EYES OUT FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!! 

MY GUY - I have a feeling I know what your next blog post is going to be about.

Me - Damn right!!! Poor little bird!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, if you didn't grow up in Canada, I'm not sure if you've ever even heard this song BUT if you did grow up in Canada, I bet you a gazillion loonies that you were one of millions of wee Canadians who sat cross-legged in kindergarten circles across the country, happily chirping away, pointing to all your body parts as they popped up in this horrible song.

Here are the sweet sounding lyrics en francais:

Refrain

Alouette, gentille alouette,
Alouette, je te plumerai.

1.

Je te plumerai la tête. Je te plumerai la tête.

Et la tête! Et la tête!
Alouette! Alouette!
A-a-a-ah

Refrain

2.

Je te plumerai le bec. Je te plumerai le bec.

Et le bec!  x2
Et la tête!  x2
Alouette!  x2
A-a-a-ah

Refrain

3.

Je te plumerai les yeux. Je te plumerai les yeux.

Et les yeux!  x2
Et le bec!  x2
Et la tête!  x2
Alouette!  x2
A-a-a-ah

Refrain

4.

Je te plumerai le cou. Je te plumerai le cou.

Et le cou!  x2
Et les yeux!  x2
Et le bec!  x2
Et la tête!  x2
Alouette!  x2
A-a-a-ah

Refrain

5.

Je te plumerai les ailes. Je te plumerai les ailes.

Et les ailes!  x2
Et le cou!  x2
Et les yeux!  x2
Et le bec!  x2
Et la tête!  x2
Alouette!  x2
A-a-a-ah

Refrain

6.

Je te plumerai les pattes. Je te plumerai les pattes.

Et les pattes!  x2
Et les ailes!  x2
Et le cou!  x2
Et les yeux!  x2
Et le bec!  x2
Et la tête!  x2
Alouette!  x2
A-a-a-ah

Refrain

7.

Je te plumerai la queue. Je te plumerai la queue.

Et la queue!  x2
Et les pattes!  x2
Et les ailes!  x2
Et le cou!  x2
Et les yeux!  x2
Et le bec!  x2
Et la tête!  x2
Alouette!  x2
A-a-a-ah

Refrain

8.

Je te plumerai le dos. Je te plumerai le dos.

Et le dos!  x2
Et la queue!  x2
Et les pattes!  x2
Et les ailes!  x2
Et le cou!  x2
Et les yeux!  x2
Et le bec!  x2
Et la tête!  x2
Alouette!  x2
A-a-a-ah

Refrain

And , more importantly, to justify my outrage, here are the horrible lyrics, en anglais:

Refrain

Lark, nice lark,
Lark, I will pluck you.

1.

I will pluck your head. I will pluck your head.

And your head! And your head!
Lark! Lark!
O-o-o-oh

Refrain

2.

I will pluck your beak. I will pluck your beak.

And your beak!  x2
And your head!  x2
Lark!  x2
O-o-o-oh

Refrain

3.

I will pluck your eyes. I will pluck your eyes.

And your eyes!  x2
And your beak!  x2
And your head!  x2
Lark!  x2
O-o-o-oh

Refrain

4.

I will pluck your neck. I will pluck your neck.

And your neck!  x2
And your eyes!  x2
And your beak!  x2
And your head!  x2
Lark!  x2
O-o-o-oh

Refrain

5.

I will pluck your wings. I will pluck your wings.

And your wings!  x2
And your neck!  x2
And your eyes!  x2
And your beak!  x2
And your head!  x2
Lark!  x2
O-o-o-oh

Refrain

6.

I will pluck your feet. I will pluck your feet.

And your feet!  x2
And your wings!  x2
And your neck!  x2
And your eyes!  x2
And your beak!  x2
And your head!  x2
Lark!  x2
O-o-o-oh

Refrain

7.

I will pluck your tail. I will pluck your tail.

And your tail!  x2
And your feet!  x2
And your wings!  x2
And your neck!  x2
And your eyes!  x2
And your beak!  x2
And your head!  x2
Lark!  x2
O-o-o-oh

Refrain

8.

I will pluck your back. I will pluck your back.

And your back!  x2
And your tail!  x2
And your feet!  x2
And your wings!  x2
And your neck!  x2
And your eyes!  x2
And your beak!  x2
And your head!  x2
Lark!  x2
O-o-o-oh

Refrain

Here is a creepy video with the song...they seem to have censored the "real" lyrics, leaving out the part where THEY F@#KING PLUCK THE LITTLE BIRD'S  EYES OUT!!!!

Creepy Little Bastard.

Wikipedia ...and YouTube....are destroying my childhood...one sweet innocent memory at a time.

Stupid internet.


p.s. Now, I realize that this is all coming from a person who, last summer when my friendly neighbourhood alouettes were waking me up in the morning, wrote a post called "Birds Are Assholes but I didn't write it and then suggest that people across the continent read it to their toddlers as a bedtime story. I am not THAT twisted.

However, my little story about a strawberry-loving bunny (What's he do?? Nibble your bum??) might be just the thing to lull a wee thing to sleep...  MUAH AH AH!!!

p.p.s. And, I also realize that I was wrong when I thought that the mumble word was "chanter"... I was actually closer to "gentille" with my wrong mumble word than I was with "chanter"


p.p.p.s. If you're still with me and want to watch a gorgeous video for a beautiful song...about a bird that doesn't get plucked... please have a look at this:

The Weepies are AWESOME!!!