Monday, July 29, 2013

Oh By Gosh, By Golly!!


Did you hear that??

That's the sound of me ... SMILING!!

And NOT swearing!!!

I just got back from my dentist know, the one I've been dreading for the last 9 months (read this Post "And The Tooth Fairy Can Kiss My Ass, Too!!" if you'd like to know what the heck I'm talking about)...

AND.... didn't even hurt one little bit.

I'm not even making this up.

It was beautiful!!!

It was like the good old days...back before I turned 40.

Here's how it happened:

So, a half hour before my appointment, I downed a couple of Advil (as has been my pre-dental cleaning pain-relieving precautionary measure since turning 40), reminisced about my last few nasty visits to the dentist, grumbled, cringed, swore a couple of times and then hopped into the car and drove to the dentist office with my soul chock full o' dread, tension and resentment.

I arrived and took a seat in the waiting room.


I read a few pages of a People magazine and got caught up on Kim and Kanye's latest antics...


I hated myself for a second or two for getting caught up on Kim and Kanye's latest antics...


Had a couple of xrays taken...pain-free.

No big deal.

Xrays never hurt anyway.


Then I was ushered back into the hall of horrors by the beautiful and kind Corinne. She showed me to her chair and I sat down.

She bibbed me up and leaned the chair back into ready position.

I put my sunglasses on...

Tensed my entire body up in order to face the imminent pain and suffering head on...

She lowered the light...

Game Time.

35ish minutes and some lovely chit chat later, she raised the light, put my chair back into its upright position and it was over.

Not. One. Single. Ouchie.

Even midway through, when she asked, "Is this area tender right here??',

I answered honestly and eagerly...


Before I stood up, I flipped my Oakleys to the top of my head and told reverent and hushed tones ... that she had just made me a very very happy girl and that my last several cleanings had been rather "unenjoyable" and that I loved her with all of my heart.

No, just jokes... I didn't tell her the last part about loving her with all of my heart...even though I do.

I actually had to keep myself reined in and force myself to not give her a great big hug of love and gratitude...I'm not a particularly huggy person, so the fact that I had to stop myself from embracing someone is really quite something.

Anyway, I walked out of there with a spankin' new blue toothbrush, some minty floss, a SpongeBob sticker, a spring in my step and a song in my heart.

I was ... and still am, really ... downright giddy.


Thank you, Corinne!! You are an angel of mercy and gentleness!! ...Do you think you could possibly put a good word in for me with the Tooth Fairy?? I kinda trash talked her a while back and may not be on her Or Nice list anymore.

And...thanks for the sticker.


Laura said...

Woo Hoo! So happy that all went well. I'm off to the dentist two weeks from today... wish me (the anti-crest kid... lady)luck.

Maybe I can borrow that Spongebob pic then.


Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I didn't tell her the last part about loving her with all of my heart

But do you love her with all your teeth?

Furtheron said...

Hmm... don't go there. I had mine cleaned a couple of weeks ago - since then I've had pain/sensitivity where it wasn't a problem before - now it is annoying me thinking therefore I need to go back and for something probably worse than the clean :-(

squirrel_e_girl said...

Laura- Best of Luck at the dentist... you should probably start flossing tonight so your gums don't gush blood during your appt and you can pretend that you do actually floss on a regular basis.

BBBB - I, in fact, DO love her with all my teeth...and my gums, too. She was THAT good.

Furtheron- Probably not a good idea to chew on ice cubes anymore...YIKES. My teeth have only ever hurt whilst in the dentist chair so I feel sorry for you. That's gotta suck. Try using an enamel building mouthwash or something similar. ...or Sensodyne toothpaste ...actually, I dunno what the hell I'm talking about really...just don't chew ice cubes.