...a toddler with significant impulse control issues.
And no parental supervision.
I am ridiculous.
I have just eaten 8-10 mini chocolate bars for lunch.
Just like I did yesterday...
...and the day before yesterday.
I have also eaten many many little bars of sweet chocolatey deliciousness for dessert....after lunch.
And after dinner.
And after breakfast.
Christ...throw a bit of hair on the tops of my feet and I'm pretty much a Hobbit. If I wasn't at work all morning, I'd scarf back a few for Elevensies.
I cannot help myself.
As long as I am in my house, I will systematically devour any and all delicious sugary desserty treats that have the misfortune of landing in my kitchen. It's why, as a rule, I don't bake...
... but sometimes I do.
... but sometimes I do.
And, sometimes it's Christmas.
And, sometimes it's Thanksgiving.
And, sometimes it's Easter.
And, sometimes it's birthdays.
My specialties/weaknesses include, but are not limited to: pumpkin pie, donuts, butter tarts, birthday cakes, carrot cakes (I made the most delectable and decadent carrot cake last month and I ate most of it...as in all but 3 or so pieces), banana bread, cinnamon buns, Peak Frean Fruit Cremes, shortbread cookies and....mini chocolate bars...Kit Kats being my favourite.
Generally, I'm cool with candy ...mini chocolate bars excluded...obvs...and ice cream. It's baked goods that are my Achilles Heel.
I, on occasion, have mustered up a modicum of restraint and insisted that My Guy bring the remnants of a dessert to work with him to share with his cohorts. Mind you, he tends to forget these high caloric sacrificial offerings in the fridge when he leaves in the morning thereby null and voiding my goodwill(power) gesture and the goodies are fair game again.
When I'm out and about (said in my "Canadian" accent), I have no problem driving by Tim Hortons, Dairy Queen, McDonalds...etc. I can buy gas and not grab a point of purchase chocolate bar. Same goes for grocery shopping...I'm too wrapped up in pretending to not look at all the high quality examples of fine journalism to fixate on chocolate bars...and besides, those ones are regular size and full of tons of sugar, fat and calories...not like the "fun size" ones. They're just tiny and harmless.
Good news is on the horizon, though.
I can see the bottom of the box of mini bars so I'm nearing to the end of my gluttonous binge and then I'm all clear until Christmas!!!
I'll be free!!!
Bring on the rice cakes and carrot sticks!!!
Damn it...just remembered that The Girl's birthday is coming up at the end of the month and that most likely means birthday cake...and I only just finished polishing off the bulk of The Boy's b-day cake.