Friday, November 2, 2012

I Have the Willpower of a Toddler...

...a toddler with significant impulse control issues.

And no parental supervision.

Really truly.

I am ridiculous.

I have just eaten 8-10 mini chocolate bars for lunch.

Just like I did yesterday...

...and the day before yesterday.

I have also eaten many many little bars of sweet chocolatey deliciousness for dessert....after lunch.

And after dinner.

And after breakfast.

Christ...throw a bit of hair on the tops of my feet and I'm pretty much a Hobbit. If I wasn't at work all morning, I'd scarf back a few for Elevensies.

I cannot help myself.

As long as I am in my house, I will systematically devour any and all delicious sugary desserty treats that have the misfortune of landing in my kitchen. It's why, as a rule, I don't bake...

... but sometimes I do.

And, sometimes it's Christmas.

And, sometimes it's Thanksgiving.

And, sometimes it's Easter.

And, sometimes it's birthdays.

My specialties/weaknesses include, but are not limited to: pumpkin pie, donuts, butter tarts, birthday cakes, carrot cakes (I made the most delectable and decadent carrot cake last month and I ate most of in all but 3 or so pieces), banana bread, cinnamon buns, Peak Frean Fruit Cremes, shortbread cookies chocolate bars...Kit Kats being my favourite. 

Generally, I'm cool with candy chocolate bars excluded...obvs...and ice cream. It's baked goods that are my Achilles Heel.

I, on occasion, have mustered up a modicum of restraint and insisted that My Guy bring the remnants of a dessert to work with him to share with his cohorts. Mind you, he tends to forget these high caloric sacrificial offerings in the fridge when he leaves in the morning thereby null and voiding my goodwill(power) gesture and the goodies are fair game again.

Yum Yum. 

When I'm out and about (said in my "Canadian" accent), I have no problem driving by Tim Hortons, Dairy Queen, McDonalds...etc. I can buy gas and not grab a point of purchase chocolate bar. Same goes for grocery shopping...I'm too wrapped up in pretending to not look at all the high quality examples of fine journalism to fixate on chocolate bars...and besides, those ones are regular size and full of tons of sugar, fat and calories...not like the "fun size" ones. They're just tiny and harmless. 



Good news is on the horizon, though.

I can see the bottom of the box of mini bars so I'm nearing  to the end of my gluttonous binge and then I'm all clear until Christmas!!! 


I'll be free!!!

Bring on the rice cakes and carrot sticks!!!

Damn it...just remembered that The Girl's birthday is coming up at the end of the month and that most likely means birthday cake...and I only just finished polishing off the bulk of The Boy's b-day cake.


I might have to scrounge up a wee Coffee Crisp to make myself feel better.



p.s. Look at the pumpkins I carved...I haven't carved a pumpkin in years so I think I did A-OK.


Laura said...

You did an amazing job on those pumpkins!
The first one especially looks like .. you know who!

I'm awful with dessert foods as well. Which is why.. right now.. I'm as fat as butter! I've been on a year long binge. I'm starting a diet though.. tomorrow (cause I'm taking Mass to see Wreck it Ralph tonight and I NEED to get mah nacho's with cheese).

And the damn Foodland sells Wilkies butter tarts! Did YOU KNOW THAT??? And Foodland is within walking distance of my house. (pfftt.. as if I'd walk down there. A short drive I guess I should say. VERY short).

Anyhow... I don't know about you but I'm sick to death of Halloween chocolate bars. Yet I'm still eating them. :(
We need to start a support group. Perhaps we could meet Friday afternoons at Patilero!!!


squirrel_e_girl said...

"Fat as Butter".... HA!!! Love it!!! That's what we can call our support group!!

Thank you for appreciating my pumpkin carving artistry...I was disproportionately proud of my work :)

And I did NOT know that they sold Wilkies BTs at Foodland...while it's not within walking distance of my house, it IS within a super quick 4 minute drive....hmmmmm. Although, I am in a committed relationship with Quaker Oaks butter tarts and I think it would be wrong for me to experiment with Wilkies (I have had one of theirs in years)

How was Wreck it Ralph??