I can't even begin to believe that it's been almost a month since I posted something...well...not counting the plea for help I posted several minutes ago.
Because it's been so long since I wrote anything, I'm a little rusty and I'm not feeling particularly inspired or creative ... I'm gonna blame that on Peter .... so I think I'll just bring you up to speed on what I've been up to for the past few weeks.
Buckle up, you're in for one hell of a ride!!
...not really, but anyway...
"A Comprehensive List of Stuff I've Been Up to for the Past Few Weeks"
- I have rejoiced in the glorious magic of all that is SPRING!! I love Spring as much as I F@#king Love Fall and it fills my Self with JOY to witness the bleak barren brown dead world of winter's aftermath little bit by little bit transform and burst forth into countless shades of greeny greatness. Watching the ice leave the lake is crazy exciting for me. And each day, when driving the kids to school, the sun was noticeably higher and higher in the sky....cause for a daily celebration, if you ask me. And, even though we had a couple of freakish May snowstorms, it was no big schmoo because it was, after all, May and June comes after May and it never snows in June ... so yeah...no big schmoo.
|My Bewildered Tulips|
- I got the most AWESOME Mothers Day gifties from my kiddos!! This is the first time they picked out and purchased a present for me without any guidance at all and it was very sweet and very thoughtful and it made me very very happy :D
|A Chippy and Weenie Dog Bookends|
|What?? This is the way they go, right??|
- I have planted my flower beds with lots of different kinds of flowers that I've never used before..which is big news in my world... If you want to see some unbelievably stellar decision-making skills in action then all you have to do is accompany me to the garden store...and watch me wander back and forth around in circles umm-ing and ahh-ing and holy christ I don't know what to choose-ing ...and then on to a different garden store ... and watch me wander back and forth around in circles umm-ing and ahh-ing and holy christ I don't know what to choose-ing... and then on to a different garden store ... and watch me wander back and forth around in circles umm-ing and ahh-ing and holy christ I don't know what to choose-ing ... and then back to the first garden store ... and watch me wander back and forth around in circles umm-ing and ahh-ing and holy christ I don't know what to choose-ing...OH MY GOD!! ALL THESE FLOWERS SUCK!! WHY CAN'T ANYONE HAVE ANY GOOD FLOWERS?? MY BRAIN HURTS!! I NEED A NAP!!! ...and then drive to a garden store 25 minutes out of town and finally find a bunch of flowers that don't look like crap and then watch me breathe a great big sigh of relief... and then proceed to take a painfully long time choosing exactly which ones I want and how many to get. And you also have to give me little hugs here and there and also encouraging pats on the back are a nice touch and you have to, softly and gently, assure me that these flowers are the perfect ones and that I'm NOT a complete lunatic. My Guy is a saint. Thanks Sweetie Guy!!
- I planted my veggie garden, too, only this year NO radishes or cucumbers BLECH and hopefully there will not be a repeat of last summer. Although, there have been several bunny sightings as of late. Good thing we've got Asshole Cat back ... he can keep the buck-toothed buggers at bay. Even though he is waaaaaaaaay fatter than he was last year so he might not be nearly as effective as a critter deterrent as he was 12 short months ago. You see, after we brought him back from near-starvation, he kept right on truckin' and proceeded to guilt me/annoy me with his loud and incessant meowing into over-feeding him and as a result, he is rather rotund...oops. On the plus side...get it??!! PLUS side/PLUS size??hahahaha... maybe he'll be less able to catch and kill all the birds and chippies who have the misfortune of living within a several kilometre radius of our house because he's so dumpy and slow. He's on a more moderated feeding schedule so hopefully he'll slim down in no time.
|My Veggie Garden Security Cat in Action|
- Speaking of a moderated feeding schedule...I have gone 2 whole weeks withOUT ice cream OR root beer OR Nutella. I have even turned down several suggestions/pleas for trips to Dairy Queen. I have even driven the kids to DQ so they can have ice cream and I have abstained. For those of you who know me have no choice but to realize that THAT IS F$%KING UNBELIEVABLE!!! And is worthy of much admiration and respect...and undisguised incredulousness. I am trying my hardest to eat less crappily and so far, I have been pretty good. I just need to ramp up the exercise aspect of things in order to be fully and effectively healthier, but I've pinned a bunch of cool new workouts on my "Healthy Me" board so I'm half-way there really. Right?
- I survived a nasty wind attack on my home last night. I was hanging out minding my own business when I heard this weirdly loud noise and a big CRACK and I thought the roof was going to lift right off my house and I ran to the front door to frantically summon The Boy in from the driveway where he had been skateboarding and now was dodging flying debris and empty plastic flower containers. I believe it went a little like this "JACK!!! IN-IN-IN-IN-IN-IN-IN-IN-IN!! NOW!!!" To hear him tell it, I might've been a bit shrill and screamy but in my mind I was calm and cool as a cucumber. Then as fast as it arrived, the wind was gone. And a tree in my backyard was mostly broken thus depriving my doggies of shade on hot sunny days...which is a drag...but I have a roof...and a house...and a Boy...so it's all good and I am grateful. About 5 minutes later, the rain and thunder and lightning arrived and we made the executive and electrical storm-based decision to forgo The Boy's Friday night soccer game. We settled in and waited for My Guy to arrive home with Max and the four of us had a feast of wings. YUM YUM and then...against my better judgement and fervent wishes, it was decided that we would play RISK. What???
|My Broken Tree and My Broken Fence...and my Dog|
- I played RISK for the first time ever. Well, actually, it wasn't really the first time ever...We tried to play a couple of years ago, but that game ended almost before it began, with one child in tears and one in her room because she had been HORRIBLE to her little brother and needed to be removed from polite society. Needless to say, ever since, I've been a wee gun-shy when it comes to breaking out the destroyer of family harmony aka RISK....but somehow...someway...The Boy finally wore me down and convinced me that a Fun Friday Family Night of RISK was perfect thing to do. WHAT?? Anyway, the game was set up and the rules were figured out...mostly... since not one of us had really played before...well The Boy had...once...but that was years ago and I think the subsequent "non-game that ended in despair" might've wiped his RISK memory clear. I was Yellow and initially, I was getting slaughtered but then as I figured things out and got my RISK legs under me, I gained some ground and The Boy and I formed an Unholy Alliance and swept Africa, Europe, Australia and Asia and the vast majority of South America and were well on our way claiming the rest of the Americas and achieving Total World Domination!!!!! ...but then I had to call the game on account of kids paying more attention to their wireless devices than the game at hand. It had ended up with me being the only one playing because My Guy had lapsed into a mild case of Sore Loser-itis (not that I blame him...he was left with only ONE lone troop in the middle of South America) and the boys were each messing around with their respective Apple products and I got kinda iRate and, in perfect World Dominator form, declared the game officially OVER!!
Ok...I'm back in the saddle again. See you next time!!