Thursday, December 13, 2012

Rectum?? Damn Near Killed Him.


As I'm sure most of you are well aware, anytime you type anything into the little Google Image search window and hit Enter, you're playing a sort of Picture Russian Roulette. Some pretty "interesting" stuff can pop up and it's important to be prepared.

Over the past few years I've compiled something I like to call:

"A Comprehensive List of Things I Will No Longer Search On Google Images...No Matter What"
by: squirrel_e_girl

  • Bunions
  • Toenail Fungus
  • Receding Gums
  • Warts
  • Engorged Ticks 


I'm not going into to any detail about any of those items. They're pretty straight forward and self-explanatory...and really really gross.

As an act of squirrel_e_kindness, I advise anyone who doesn't have to search those things to avoid searching those things, unless it's for like work or something.

The reason I am choosing to convey this warning to you tonight is that I have a brand new entry... and it's a big 'un...and I feel as though it is my moral obligation as a human being to pass this on to you, my Beloved Readers, in a heroic effort to save you any unnecessary emotional scarring.

To explain:

Since you probably haven't heard any where close to enough about my newly returned Rowdy Cat, here is another Rowdy Cat Story ...and it's yucky and gross and you may want to skip this if you have a sensitive constitution ... or if you are My Mom....or My Dad ... or My Kids.

As I'm sure most of you are well aware, cat bums are anything but discreet and unfortunately, for all involved, Rowdy's seems to be sort of sticky-outie ...which it never used to be.

It is not pleasant.

Due to all the cat-ditcher guilt I am experiencing, I am hyper-vigilant about any possible lurking health issues with him, and, these days, what does one do when one has a possible lurking health issue??

One becomes an Instant Physician/Veterinarian and, instead of using decades of intensive schooling and medical experience to reach a sensible diagnosis, one scurries over to the nearest computer and consult the all-knowing, all-powerful ... Dr. Google.

Instant Diagnosis.

So, when my cat is proudly sporting a sticky-outie bum, of course I'm going to check out Google Image to see if what I am being forced to admire is what I think it might be.

And, without further ado, I present to you, the latest and greatest addition to


"A Comprehensive List of Things I Will No Longer Search On Google Images...No Matter What"
by: squirrel_e_girl
  • Bunions
  • Toenail Fungus
  • Receding Gums
  • Warts
  • Engorged Ticks 
  •  Prolapsed Cat Rectum



DON'T DO IT!!!

And, especially DON'T DO IT!!! and then scroll down through the pics to see if any of them resemble your cat's bum...which they didn't...phew.

And extra especially DON'T DO IT!!!! and then scroll down...if you don't have Safe Search on.

I saw things that I never, in a million years, would've ever imagined.

There are some things that you just can't unsee.

*shudder*

God Damn.



P.S. This traumatizing discovery comes right on the heels of my surprising discovery that there are naughty naughty pictures on Pinterest .... and here I just thought it was all about crafts, recipes, adorable animals and shoes.

All that time wasted looking at jokes and beautiful inspirational sayings.

Who knew??














5 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

This traumatizing discovery comes right on the heels of my surprising discovery that there are naughty naughty pictures on Pinterest .... and here I just thought it was all about crafts, recipes, adorable animals and shoes.

Silly Squirrel, that was Pornterest!

I don't gross out easily, which comes in handy when you have to write about leeches.

Laura said...

Oh good lord. Pinterest has *that* stuff on it too? I'll need to investigate.
I just watched a video (as seen on Tosh.O) of a pimple being popped on a horses bum. It was simply THE MOST disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life. Literally... stomach turning.

Glad that your kitty doesn't have "Prolapsed Cat Rectum". Yikes!!! Did you ever find out what his trouble was??

((Hugs))
Laura

LisaAnn said...

OMG, I have absolutely no desire to see any of those things on Google search, but... I'll be damned if I don't have the slight inclination to suddenly search for them just because you told me I shouldn't!

Also... Yeah. Pinterest. I follow a lot of underwater photographers, because I love pics of people swimming together and swimming in beautiful ball gowns and such. And let's just say I recently learned there's a whole Pinterest counterculture that enjoys watching people do OTHER things underwater. Yikes.

squirrel_e_girl said...

Bx4- Of Course!! It WAS Pornterst...I'm always getting the two confused...silly Squirrel, indeed.

And, I never would have thought that leeches could be so interesting...well done!!

Laura - Lemme know what your investigation turns up...I'll be interested to hear your thoughts.

Horses have bum pimples?? Who knew??!!

As for Rowdy's posterior issues...my professional diagnosis is that his digestive system is getting used to having food and it is just a little wonky...and we found out he's carrying a couple of wormy parasites (no leeches though) so that may be part of the problem. Aren't you glad you asked ;)

squirrel_e_girl said...

Lisa Ann - The first entries on my list aren't really THAT horrible...just some worst case scenarios that would not be pleasant....but the last one?? Stay far far away from that business...although you may just stumble upon some examples on one or two of those counterculture Pinterest boards...YIKES!!! is right.